I never loved my wife, and I told her so many times. It wasnt her faultwe lived quite comfortably. She never made a fuss or held grudgesalways kind and caring. But the problem remainedthere was no love.
Every morning, I woke up wanting to leave. I dreamed of finding a woman I could truly love. Yet I couldnt imagine how fate would turn everything upside down.
With Sophie, I felt at ease. Not only did she keep the house impeccably, but she was also stunningly beautiful. My friends envied me, baffled at how Id been so lucky to have her as my wife.
Even I didnt understand why she loved me. Im just an ordinary man, no different from anyone else. And yet, she adored me How was that possible?
Her love and devotion unsettled me. What tormented me more was the thought that if I left, someone else would take my placesomeone richer, more attractive, more successful.
The idea of her with another man drove me mad. She was mine, even if I never loved her. That sense of possession was stronger than reason. But could I spend my whole life with someone I didnt love? I thought I could manage, but I was wrong.
*»Tomorrow, Ill tell her everything,»* I decided before going to bed. The next morning, over breakfast, I gathered my courage.
*»Sophie, sit down. We need to talk.»*
*»Of course, darling. What is it?»*
*»Imagine were getting divorced. I leave, we live separately»*
Sophie laughed.
*»What strange thoughts! Is this some kind of game?»*
*»Listen to the end. Im serious.»*
*»Fine, Im imagining it. What next?»*
*»Answer honestlywould you find someone else if I left?»*
*»Matthew, whats gotten into you? Why are you even thinking about leaving?»*
*»Because I dont love you. I never have.»*
*»What? Are you joking? I dont understand.»*
*»I want to leave, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else wont let me rest.»*
Sophie paused, then calmly replied:
*»I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. GoI wont be with anyone else.»*
*»You promise?»*
*»Of course,»* Sophie assured me.
*»Waitbut where would I go?»*
*»You dont have anywhere?»*
*»No, weve been together our whole lives. I suppose Id still have to stay close to you,»* I said glumly.
*»Dont worry,»* Sophie answered. *»After the divorce, well swap the house for two smaller flats.»*
*»Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why are you doing it?»*
*»Because I love you. When you love someone, you dont keep them against their will.»*
A few months passed, and we divorced. Soon, I learned Sophie hadnt kept her promise. She found another man, and the flat she inherited from her grandmother was never meant to be shared. I was left with nothing.
How could I ever trust women again? I havent the faintest idea. I stopped going out, stopped answering calls. The flat felt too big for one, but I couldnt bring myself to leave. Every morning, I brewed just enough tea for one. One spoon of sugar. No one to ask how I take it. Sometimes Id catch myself setting two plates at the tableold habit. Then Id remember. And the silence would settle again.
