«He married you out of pity,» her sister said before stepping out of the kitchen.
«Emilys school called again,» Marina set her teacup down so sharply the liquid sloshed over the rim. «The teacher says shes stopped trying. Sits in class like a ghost.»
Lena flinched, setting aside the knife shed been using to peel potatoes. Her sister stood in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing that look Lena had known since childhoodthe one Marina always wore before saying something cruel.
«Maybe shes just tired? The curriculums demanding,» Lena murmured, picking up another potato.
«Tired?» Marina scoffed. «Of what? James spoils her rotten, and you tiptoe around her like shes made of glass. And for what? Failing marks and notes in her planner.»
Lena stayed silent. Emily *had* changed since she and James married. Withdrawn. Silent. She used to be bright, chattyteachers praised her, classmates adored her. Now…
«You know what I think?» Marina leaned in, settling across the table. «Emily *knows*. Kids sense dishonesty better than adults.»
«What are you on about?» Lena lifted her gaze.
«That this marriage of yours is one big lie.» Marinas voice was calm, but hard. «You think she doesnt see how you and James are? Like strangers sharing a roof.»
Lenas chest tightened. The potato slipped from her fingers, splashing into the bowl.
«We get on fine.»
«Oh, come off it! Im not blind. You dont even argue properlyjust coexist. James comes home, eats, zones out at the telly. You cook, clean, tidy. Like flatmates.»
«Not every couple has to bicker,» Lena kept her tone even. «Maybe were just… quiet people.»
Marina shook her head.
«Lena, stop lying to yourself. Youve seen how he looks at youor rather, how he *doesnt*. You walk in, he doesnt even glance up from his paper.»
It was true. Lena had noticed but buried the thought. James barely registered hera nod in the morning, questions about dinner at night. Only practicalities, no warmth.
«Remember how he looked at Olivia?» Marina pressed. «When she was still alive?»
Lena stiffened. Her sister rarely mentioned Jamess first wife.
«Dont.»
«I *will*. You saw them together. How he doted on her when she was ill. Couldnt take his eyes off her. Hands shook when the doctor spoke. Now? You could be bedriddenhe wouldnt fetch you so much as an aspirin.»
Lena stood, moving to the window. Rain tapped against the glass. She remembered the day James proposedsix months after Olivias funeral. Theyd been drinking tea, Emily asleep upstairs. After a long silence, hed said:
*»Lena… would you marry me? Emily needs a mother. And I… I cant do this alone.»*
No love. No promises. Just a solution to a problem.
«He married you out of pity,» Marina said, then left.
Lena stayed by the window, the words echoing. *Pity.* Was that it? Had James pitied hera woman past thirty, alone, childless? And shed pitied hima widower with a little girl. Now they were a family without love, without warmth. And Emily was suffering most.
Lena returned to the potatoes, hands unsteady. She thought of the night shed said yes. Shed believed love could grow. That being needed was enough.
Two years later, nothing had changed. James remained polite, gratefulcold. Sometimes she caught him staring at Olivias photo in the parlour, his face alive with a tenderness shed never seen directed at her.
The front door clicked. Emily was home. The girl slipped straight to her roomno hello, no chatter about her day. Silence now.
Lena followed. Emily sat at her desk, hunched over a textbookbut unmoving, blank.
«Love, how was school?»
«Fine.» No eye contact.
«Need help with homework?»
«No. Ill manage.»
Lena perched on the bed. Emily still wouldnt look at her.
«Sweetheart, whats wrong? Youve stopped talking to me.»
Finally, Emily lifted her head. Her eyes held a sadness too old for her years.
«Whats the point?» she whispered. «Youll leave soon anyway.»
«Why would I leave?»
«Because Dad doesnt love you,» Emily said plainly. «He only loved Mum. He just… puts up with you.»
Lenas throat closed. So the child *did* understand. Was silent, suffering, terrified of losing someone else.
«Emily, Im not going anywhere. I promised.»
«But youre unhappy. Ive seen you crying at night when you think no one hears.»
Lena had no answer. She *had* criednot from hurt, but from the crushing weight of living a borrowed life.
That evening, after James returned from work, Lena waited. They ate in silence. Emily bolted upstairs. James turned on the telly.
«James… we need to talk.»
He muted the program, frowning. «Whats happened?»
«School called. Emilys struggling.»
«Right. What do you suggest?»
Lena sat across from him, hands clasped.
«James… do you think its about more than school? That she senses somethings… wrong between us?»
He frowned. «I dont follow.»
«That were not a family. Were just… sharing a house.»
James stiffened.
«Lena, I dont see the issue. Emilys fed, clothed, cared for.»
«But she doesnt have happy parents,» Lena said softly. «Children feel that.»
James turned away, staring out the window.
«What do you want me to say?»
«The truth. Why did you marry me?»
Silence. The clock ticked. The fridge hummed.
«Because Emily needed a mother,» he finally said. «And I needed someone to run the house. You cook well. Keep things tidy. Emily likes you.»
«And love?»
James met her eyessomething like regret in his.
«Lena, I never promised love. I told you why I needed a wife.»
True. He hadnt. Shed mistaken it for shynessthought feelings would come. They hadnt.
«If Olivia were alivewould you have married me?»
His face softened, warm in a way it never was for her.
«But shes not.»
«Answer me.»
«If Olivia were alive, Id never have remarried,» he said simply.
There it was. What shed known but feared. Shed always be seconda placeholder.
«James… what if I left?»
He blinked.
«Why? This works.»
«For *you*. Not for me. Or Emily.»
«Emilys fine. Its just teenage moodiness.»
«No. Shes clever. She *knows*. And its hurting her.»
James stood, pacing.
«Lena, what do you want? You cant force love.»
«I dont want forced love. I want to find someone wholl love me *properly*.»
He stopped, turning.
«And Emily?»
«She stays with you. But she needs a father whos presentnot stuck in the past.»
A long silence. Then James sank back into his chair.
«Where will you go?»
«Marinas. Until I find work and a flat.»
«I wont file for divorce.»
«I will.»
Another pause.
«What do I tell Emily?»
«The truth. That adults make mistakes. That well always be friendsjust not together.»
James nodded.
«Alright. Maybe youre right.»
That night, Lena lay awake. Terrified of starting overbut more terrified of a lifetime as a replacement.
In the morning, she went to Emilys room.
«Sweetheart, I need to tell you something.»
Emily tensed.
«Im leaving. Not because I dont love you. But because grown-ups sometimes realise theyve made the wrong choice.»
Emily stayed silent.
«Youll live with Dad. Ill be nearby. You can visit, call anytime.»
«And Dad?» Emily whispered.
«Hell be alright. He needs time too.»
Suddenly, Emily hugged her.
«Lena… will you find a nice man? One who loves you properly?»
«I dont know, love. But Ill try to be happy.»
«Good. I hated seeing you cry.»
Lena packed quicklyjust essentials. James walked her to the door.
«Lena,» he said quietly. «Thank you. These two years… youre a good woman. Youll find better.»
«And youll learn to live in the presentnot the past,» she replied.
Marina hugged her without questions. «Brave girl. Better late than never.»
That evening, Emily called.
«Lenaguess what? Dad took Mums photo down today. Said it was time. And he booked me a therapist. Said I needed to talk about… everything.»
«Thats good, love.»
«And… he said youre really brave. That hes proud to have known you.»
Lena smiledproperly, for the first time in ages.
Maybe Marina was right. James *had* married her out of pity. But she didnt need pity anymore. She needed love.
And now, she had a chance to find it.
