Ill give her a call, I muttered, stepping back toward the doorway.
Your lover rang. She sends her hello, Emily shouted across the kitchen, never taking her eyes off the pan where something familiar sizzled, as if it were a piece of their shared life.
Andrew froze on the kitchen threshold. Twentyfive yearsan entire lifetimeflashed before his eyes in an instant. The keys slipped from his fingers, clattered onto the floor with a harsh metallic clang that seemed to pierce the silence.
What are you talking about? A lover? his voice trembled, spilling the anxieties hed carried for months. He felt the ground shift beneath him.
Lucy, your assistant, I suppose? Emily finally turned, arms crossed over her chest. Shes only twentyfive, says shes been seeing you for four months. Congratulations, love.
The pain in her eyes was so raw that Andrew wanted to sink into the earthor wake up, as if it were all a nightmare.
Emily, Ill explain he began, but the words caught in his throat.
Youll explain? she laughed hoarsely. What exactly are you going to explain, Andrew? How you had fun with your secretary while I was running from doctor to doctor? Or how you lied, saying you were working late?
The skillet hissed, the smell of burnt meat filled the kitchen. Emily switched off the gas as if that could stop the ache, the bitterness, the betrayal.
You know whats the most disgusting? she whispered. I suspected it. All those meetings, latenight calls, business trips I believed you like a fool, believed every word!
Emily, listen Andrew stepped toward her, but she thrust her hand out, as if erecting an invisible wall.
Dont come near! tears flashed in her eyes. Lord, this is vile twenty years wasted!
Stop, he tried to steady himself, his voice shaking. Lets talk calmly. Its complicated.
Complicated? Emily laughed again, but the laughter sounded like sobbing. Whats so complicated? You took a young lover. She got pregnant. And I, her voice broke, Im just an old woman who cant have children, is that it?
Dont say that! he pressed forward, trying to hug her.
Emily flinched away, as if burned. In the next breath a sharp slap split the kitchens silence.
Get out, she whispered, voice trembling. Get out of your life of hers. If she could give you what I never could.
Emily
Go! she snapped, snatching the salt cellar and flinging it at him.
Andrew recoiled; the salt spilled across the floor, white crystals glittering under the lamps light. A bad omen, he thought.
Ill give her a call, he muttered again, backing toward the door.
Emily turned silently to the window, shoulders shivering as if from cold, though the night outside was warm.
In the hallway, pulling his coat on hastily, he heard muffled sobs. His hand froze on the doorknob. What could he possibly say? How could he justify the betrayal?
The front door slammed shut. The empty flat fell into a deafening quiet, broken only by the ticking of the mantel clock a wedding gift from his parents. It had ticked for twentyfive years, marking each second of their marriage.
Emily slumped into a kitchen chair, her gaze landing on the scattered salt. They say salt brings bad luck, she mused, then burst into a hysterical laugh, as if the shattered crystals mirrored her shattered life.
His phone, hidden in his coat pocket, buzzed. An SMS from an unknown number: Im sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Lucy.
Wretch, Emily hissed, crushing the phone in her hand. Little devil
Outside, rain began to patter. The first drops drummed on the sill like a mournful xylophone.
Emily rose, grabbed a broom and dustpan, and while she swept the salt, a ridiculous thought crossed her mind: I never even asked who shes waiting for a boy or a girl?
She paused, dustpan clenched. The rain, the ticking clock, the saltall merged into a relentless stream, as if her life now existed only in these minutiae. Nothing else remained.
Andrew sat in his car, staring at his phone. Fifteen missed calls from his motherEmily, of course, had called her motherinlaw, always doting on her daughterinlaw.
What now? he asked his reflection in the rearview mirror. A weary fortyfiveyearold man stared back, judging him.
The phone buzzed again. Lucy flashed on the screen.
Yes, love
Where are you? her voice quivered, as if on the brink of tears. I was so scared she was terrifying!
Who? Andrew asked, confused.
Your wife! She came to my office, made a scene
What? When?
An hour ago she screamed at everyone, threw papers at me they were her test results.
He slammed his head onto the steering wheel, a groan escaping him.
I didnt know Lucy continued, voice breaking. I truly didnt know you couldnt have children. I thought you just didnt want them
Ah, I knew, a thought slipped through his mind. Knew and still
Come over, she pleaded. Im scared being alone.
Im on my way, he muttered.
He turned the key, but before the engine could roar, the phone rang again. This time his mother.
Yes, Mum.
Ah, you you useless wretch! What have you done? Lost your conscience?
Mum
Shut up! Emilys a mess, crying herself to sleep. After all these years, youve thrown it all away for a fling!
He dropped the handset onto his lap, the weight of it suddenly crushing. Silence enveloped the car, only the engines faint hum.
He glanced at Emilys house, windows glowing with a warm, cosy light. He could not go there now. He could not go anywhere.
He switched off the ignition. The car sighed and fell still. He sat alone in a silence that suddenly roared.
His phone buzzed with a short tone.
Dammit, he whispered, punching the steering wheel until his fingers cramped.
Another message popped up, this one from Emily: Divorce papers will be ready in a week. Collect your things at the weekend. Im leaving.
He read it over and over. The words didnt form a coherent whole. Divorce. Everything. Twentyfive years. Crumbled.
Then another call came inLucy.
Are you coming? My stomach hurts
Im on my way! he shouted, jerking the wheel as if it could pull him out of the nightmare.
Rain hammered harder, wipers scraping the windscreen with a feeble rhythm, the city dissolving into grey smears against the glass.
His phone buzzed again, likely his mother again. He didnt answer. What did it matter? Everything was spilling, and he could not grasp how it had happened.
A year earlier, Lucy had joined the firm as an intern. Young, bright, eyes full of hope. She looked at him the way Emily once had, as a student.
Then the office party, a careless touch, and everything changed. He remembered making excuses to Emily about work, while whisking Lucy to restaurants, buying flowers, falling in love as if he were young again. Hed rented a flat for secret meetings, watching her glow with happiness, planning futures together.
Fool, he thought, staring at the slick road. Old fool.
The phone rang.
Whats that he answered, not looking at the screen. Lucy, Im
Its not Lucy, Emily said, her voice oddly calm. Ive done a test. Guess what? Im expecting too.
Everything seemed to freeze. A sudden screech of brakes. An impact. Darkness.
Heart attack, the doctor said flatly. Plus a traumatic brain injury. Condition serious.
Emily stood by the intensive care window, watching a man tangled in wires and tubes. Lucy sat beside him, her plump face hidden in her hands, soft sobs escaping.
Stop wailing, Emily said, not looking up. This isnt a drama.
Sorry Lucy whispered, wiping her eyes, we the baby
Right, right, Emily replied, a hint of sarcasm in her tone. A baby without a father. How delightful. And Im childless. Lovely, isnt it?
You you too? Lucy asked, eyes flicking to Emilys barely visible belly.
Got pregnant as well? Emily smirked. Twentyfive years of nothing, and nowbam! Maybe nerves.
The monitor beeped steadily. Rain, like it had for the past three days, drummed against the windows, refusing to let anyone forget that life outside continued.
You know, Emily said without turning from the motionless body, I loved him from day one. He was skinny, wore glasses All the girls laughed, asked what I saw in him. I saw the real him.
Lucy stared at a curtain edge, as if something hidden there might save her.
Then came the weddingrings, veil, everything proper. His mother even smiled, A good daughterinlaw, she said. And I turned into a broken thing.
Dont say that, Lucy murmured, voice as quiet as an autumn leaf.
How would I speak? Do you know how many doctors Ive seen? How many procedures? And he kept telling me, Dont worry, love, well manage without kids. He was lying.
He loves you, Lucy said, but even she didnt believe it. He always talked about you.
And when he gets you? Emily laughed cruelly, youd think its funny. She winced, instinctively covering her belly.
I thought we had love, Lucy whispered, eyes on the floor. He was so gentle
And Im what? A careerdriven, childless wife? Emily snapped back, sarcasm dripping. What a joke.
Honestly, I almost understand you, Emily cut in. Young, in love you lost your head. I was the same. Only my mistake is that the man is still my husband.
Andrew shifted in his chair. Both women leaned forward, then fell silent.
What now? Lucy asked, the room still.
What will you do? Emily asked, weary. Andrew will have two heirs or two heiresses. Does it matter?
And him? Lucy whispered, desperation in her voice.
Hell choose, Emily said, a bitter smile forming. Either the old wife with a handbag or the young lover with a baby bump.
Im not competing, Lucy began, trying to pull herself out of the spiral.
Everyones competing, Emily interjected. Listen, girl I wont give up my twentyfive years. Theyre mine. You hopped on a train that isnt yours. Its not your route, not your station.
A nurse coughed softly from the doorway.
Sorry, visiting hours are over.
Of course, Emily replied, standing. Lets go, dear. Ill show you where the tea machine is. Weve got a long night ahead.
A week later Andrew awoke in a hospital bed. The first thing he saw was his wife sitting beside him, a hand gently resting on his belly. A thought flashed: How did I not notice?
Emily his voice was hoarse, foreign to his own ears.
She startled, eyes widening.
Did you appear, handsome? she teased, a faint smile playing on her lips. I thought you were up there, flirting with angels.
Sorry
Dont start, Emily snapped. Ive got my lawyer. I wont split the housekeep the car, youll need it more. Ive quit my job.
What? Andrew tried to stand, panic rising. Why?
Im moving back to Larkfield, to my parents, she said calmly, as if discussing tea. The air is cleaner there, better for the baby.
Emily, dont
Its necessary, Andrew. Its necessary. She smiled, not out of joy but relief. Ive had time to think while you lay there. I was a foolish fool, but not because I believed you. I was scared of living without you.
I love you, he whispered, as if the words could change anything.
You love? she replied, nodding without looking at him. Perhaps, in your own way. As a habit, as part of life. But I dont want to be just a habit, understand?
She stood, brushed off her dress as if shedding a weight that wasnt hers.
Lucy came every day. She cried, said shed give up all claims. Silly thing I gave her the number of a good gynaecologist and a realtorshell find a bigger flat for the baby, because a onebedroom will be cramped.
You what? Andrew stared, disbelief etched on his face.
Whats so strange? she shrugged. Were now in the same boat. Actually, the same rowboat funny, isnt it? All those years of emptiness and now suddenly two of us. They say misfortune never comes alone. Happiness doesnt either.
Outside, the first spring thunderstorm rolled in, tearing the day into pieces.
Dont see me off, Emily said, leaning down to kiss his forehead, a simple, ordinary gesture. Ive already called a taxi, sent my things. Sign the divorce papers when youre betterwhere are you rushing to now?
Emily
You know, she paused at the door, turning back, I truly loved you. To the point of madness, of trembling and now it feels like a breath has been released. Thank you, really.
She left, gently closing the door. A faint scent of her perfume lingered, the same scent hed given her each wedding anniversary.
Andrew stared out the window, where the spring storm mixed rain with a touch of snow. In that damp March city, two women each carried his children in their heartstwo different, yet somehow similar worlds, two distinct paths, one tangled story.
Wonder if theyll be friends, he thought, or share a life together perhaps.
