Im not your mum any more, you hear?
Well have to sell the flat, Sam said, staring at the floor, eyes glued to the carpet. And the car too. Those men with criminal records wont leave us alone. It wont just be me who suffers; you and Milly will feel it as well.
But we could go to the police
Police? I owe them, you know, he finally looked up, and the interest keeps stacking up daily until I feel I could just hang myself. Youll have to stay with my mother for a while, with the little girl.
What about you?
Ive got to get out of here. I wont be able to pay any of my debts; the business has already been squeezed out. Im thinking of heading north. The seasonal work on the rigs pays decent now, and maybe, just maybe, things will settle down.
Natalie realised things were spiralling when grimlooking folk with obvious criminal pasts started dropping by, dragging Sam out for a chat on the street. Hed come back looking lost, even angry, and started snapping at Milly over the tiniest misdemeanours. She was only four, after all she wasnt a trained dog.
Sams business was a bit of a mystery. Yes, his company sold computer gear online, but Natalie had no idea where the laptops and monitors were coming from. Most likely they were knockoffs, because whole batches kept being pulled from sale. Every time that happened Sam had to plunge deeper into debt just to keep the ship afloat. Hed managed to wriggle out a few times, but this round, it didnt work and it worked badly.
Natalie had grown up in a village, and without a swanky city flat she could have moved back in with her parents. Still, she didnt want to quit her job she was the deputy headmistress at an elite private school that specialised in English studies, and a headship was looming, since Mrs. Karen had already announced shed retire in a year. Walking away would have been foolish.
Living in her motherinlaws house was never going to be a dream either. From the first meeting the relationship had been frosty. At first Natalie was the unwanted daughterinlaw, you can see the village from a mile away. Then, after shed finished university with top marks and taken a post at the English specialist school, she became the foreign fella who cant cook a proper stew. Yet Sam loved Natalies stew and praised it. The only problem was finding the time to cook at home the schools afterschool clubs ran almost to dusk.
Mrs. Karen, naturally delighted by her granddaughter, was far less enthusiastic about Natalie:
Good wives dont run off to the north.
He didnt run away from me, he ran from his creditors. Hes deep in debt.
And where have you looked? A good wife keeps the finances in order. In your day a business was just called running the household. You havent even managed a decent dinner for your daughter.
I cook whenever I have the time.
Then why dont you have the time? Whats this school of yours that runs lessons until night? Ill have a look myself. Otherwise youll end up playing housewife while your husband does the heavy lifting
One evening she dropped by the school to inspect and, well, the complaints multiplied. Everything was written in a foreignlooking script, which was fine, but cats roaming everywhere? That was unsanitary and ridiculous! This was a school, not a zoo. Decent women wouldnt work in such a mess. She also noticed that a lanky fellow kept eyeing Natalie, as if trying to undress her with his stare.
That lanky fellow was David Spencer, another English teacher. He seemed to like Natalie, but kept his distance, knowing she was married.
The cats, as it turned out, were part of a British pedagogical method: being around animals supposedly makes children kinder. So the school had deliberately introduced a few British Shorthairs, allowing them to climb onto desks and even join lessons. In practice the cats behaved far better than the reputation suggested.
Sam sent the occasional email about where hed found work, but never in detail. It was useful, because on a couple of occasions men with obvious criminal backgrounds turned up, demanding to know Sams whereabouts.
Then Sam went silent. Natalie grew anxious perhaps the creditors had tracked him down. Her motherinlaw, ever the optimist, replied:
If theyd found him, theyd have stopped coming round.
Then why did he disappear?
You wouldnt understand. Hes a good lad, he wont stay lonely forever
A year later, just before the school term ended, Sam wrote that hed met another woman and was now living with her. He didnt consider it cheating, since there was never a proper marriage certificate between him and Natalie. He didnt mention the daughter at all, as if she didnt exist. Mrs. Karen immediately found a justification:
He must know Milly isnt his.
How? She was born while he was
With her, yes, but not his can that happen?
Oh, mother, stop!
Im no longer your mother. I might be a grandmother to Milly, but from today on Im Elizabeth Marlowe to you. Or perhaps Im nobody at all, which might be for the best.
Of course, they had to move out of the former motherinlaws flat. Natalie could barely picture what to do next. Renting a flat was pricey, and she still had to raise Milly. She could muster the courage to stay in the city, but who else was left? Apart from her daughter, there was no family. Her own parents, hearing about her troubles, had invited her back to the village, promising a school post rural schools were always short of teachers.
Mrs. Karen put a pause on her resignation:
Dont get carried away, love. Im planning to keep the school running, and the boards fine with it.
Where will we live then?
Ill speak to the board. Maybe theyll subsidise a rental or give us a loan. In the meantime, move into my cottage. The academic years ending, its May, and the cottage needs no heating. My husband only uses it on weekends, and you can take a summer holiday with your parents.
David Spencer offered to haul their things in his van. All they owned were a few clothes and some dishes. On the way he asked:
Where will you stay in winter?
Mrs. Karen promised to sort a place.
Why sort? I have a spare onebedroom flat. I stay with my mum a lot; shes ill and cooks for me. You cant survive on instant noodles forever.
Well see. Im heading back to the village in summer, maybe Ill settle there.
What about our school? You were supposed to be the next head.
I was being set up for marriage before, and now for a headship Schools are everywhere, you know.
Milly loved the cottage. The fresh air made her cheeks rosy, and she seemed to thrive. She got on well with Mrs. Karen and her husband, and they became almost a family.
Natalie thought of her former life less often. It was a shame how things turned out, but perhaps for the best. Sam would have abandoned them anyway; he never wanted to go to the registry office.
The same David Spencer drove them to the village with Milly. They arrived in the evening, unloaded, and David turned to leave, but Natalies motherinlaw wouldnt let them go:
Stay a while, Ill fetch fresh milk and well have dinner.
Natalie followed, remarking:
Mother, did you really think David was a suitable husband for me?
Isnt that so?
We have no relationship, and none is on the horizon.
Youre not seeing whats happening. Look at how he looks at you. Milly could be with him just as easily
From a distance Natalie watched David and Milly chatting and laughing. Why not?
And suddenly her heart felt lighter, calmer almost like childhood again.
