14October2025
Dear Diary,
I came home exhausted from a shift at the office, yearning for a quiet dinner with Tom, but instead I was forced to look after Emmas little boy, Jamie. I asked Tom, Nora, why does she keep having us babysit? Is it for her own sake or for us? He shrugged and said, She asked for help with her nails; you cant take a salon visit with a toddler in tow.
Tom peeled off his jacket and flung it onto the chair. Feeding a child while still in work clothes feels like a recipe for a mess a fiftyfifty chance of ending up with baby puree on my shirt.
I get it, but you cant keep doing the manicure thing, I said, stirring the pasta. Are you the only one she relies on? Why does our family feel like a perpetual nursery?
She tried to defend herself. Moms still around, but she cant be on call every day. I retorted, So youre the one who can, for everyone except yourself and me.
Toms face softened. He knew my wife wasnt an enemy; she was just relentless.
Darling, if you dont drop this weight off your shoulders, youll keep being the one whos blamed for everything. The one who carries the load is the one who suffers.
I pretended to be engrossed in cooking, but deep down I knew Tom was right. I didnt want to become a second mother to Jamie, nor did I want a fight with the family.
It started innocently enough.
Emma, Im a bit under the weather, and Ive got Jamie in my arms. I need to pop to the pharmacy but cant leave him alone. Could you lend a hand? she pleaded. I rushed in without considering a delivery service. My sister was illmaybe seriouslyso I felt I had to rescue her.
Soon I was rescuing her constantly. Do you need the phone fixed? Emma called. Were out of groceries again? I was on it. Your parcels arrived at the collection point? I ran like a personal courier.
I could afford this because I work remotely with a flexible schedule, but that didnt make it convenient. Emmas flat was a fifteenminute walk away; roundtripping, queuing, and the little errands added up to at least an hour.
I now work mostly evenings and sometimes nights when the house is quiet. Tom, of course, isnt thrilled, and neither am I. I tried confronting Emma.
Olivia, whats going on with Paul? Doesnt he help at all? I asked, handing over a ParcelForce box. He does, but hes exhausted from work. Hell sit with Jamie while I dash to the shower, and the rest is on me, she replied.
Olivia guarded her own husband but never thought about anyone elses. I paused, considering my next words.
And his mother? She lives nearby, doesnt she? I prompted. Dont even mention her! Olivia snapped, rolling her eyes. I dont want any dealings with that old bat. When she shows up, its endless nagging until nightfall. Better to starve than ask her for anything.
I tried to find a compromise. What about Oksana? She has a child about the same age. Could we share the duties? Or maybe Christina, whos not working? Olivia admitted, I hate leaning on other people; they arent obligated.
I sighed, realizing how easy it is to lean on our own family.
When Emma called the next day, she sounded urgent: Nora, Ive booked a salon appointment today. Could you watch Jamie for an hour? Her tone was commanding, not a request. It irritated me that she expected my schedule to bend to hers.
Sorry, Olivia, I cant today, I said. I cant solve all your problems. I have my own life. She retorted, Who else do I have? Ive already booked; I cant let anyone down. Youve never had kids, you dont know how hard this is.
I felt the weight of her words; Jamie was slowly becoming like my own son. Yet I stayed silent, a nonconfrontational person, and that refusal felt like a triumph.
Olivia didnt give up. She called Mum.
Mum, how can you let my sister be left alone with a toddler? she demanded. Shes the only one we have!
Mum tried to intervene. She just wants to look nice, dear. Shes a woman, after all. I raised an eyebrow; nobody really steps into my shoes.
Mum, if youre so clever, why not help her yourself? I asked. Me? I can barely get out of bed! she replied.
The constant labelsyoung, childless, homeboundhad grown tiresome. That day I finally said no.
The silence that followed lasted a week; both Mum and Olivia acted as if I didnt exist. I couldnt simply ignore it, so I tried to mend things.
When Olivia called again a week later, asking me to watch Jamie while she got her nails, I relented. I hated myself for it, but I slipped back into the unpaid nanny role. It seemed there were only two options: become the outcast of my own family or endure.
Tom warned me, Youre too soft, Nora, youll end up being used. I thought about how to refuse without creating a rift.
Later that afternoon, the phone rang predictably.
Nora, Im at my wits end. Jamies feverish, hes crying nonstop, and Im running in circles! Please, just come over.
I cant, I have work, I lied. We have monitoring software on our computers now, even during lunch. Its like being in an office all day.
A tense pause. Olivia tried to find a loophole. Just once, please! Ask someone else to cover you or take a day off.
I had no choice. I pretended to consider it.
Fine Ill figure something out. I hung up, texted Paul for his mothers number, explaining that his wife needed urgent help. He didnt refuse. Mum agreed and rushed over, sending a flood of messages.
Youve gone mad! Olivia texted. Why did you involve her?
It was the help you asked for, I replied calmly. I couldnt be there myself, you know that.
She read it and stayed silent. In that moment I felt a small victory. It wasnt a war, but a win in this tiny battle. Olivia will probably sulk, Mum may be annoyed again, but now my sister will have to learn to manage on her own or find others willing to help.
Tonight, as I write this, Im still weary but a little lighter. I hope tomorrow brings a bit more balance.
Nora.
