Everything in life happens for the first time at some point. The first teacher, the first love, the first date, the first kiss. But Barbara will forever remember her first prayer. That feeling stays with her all her lifea sacred love for her grandmother Edith and her first words to God.
Barbara is retired and lives alone. Her daughter married years ago and now lives with her family in a nearby city. Barbara has spent her whole life in the villagemarried here, buried her husband eight years ago, and now occasionally visits the church to pray for her loved ones and light candles.
As she gets ready for church, Barbara suddenly remembers her childhood and her first prayer. She never knew her parentsthey died in a motorcycle accident when she was three. Her grandmother Edith raised her.
One autumn, when the leaves had turned golden and a light rain drizzled outside, Barbara fell ill.
«You mustve caught a chill,» Edith said. «I keep telling you to wear a hat. Your hair got wet, the wind blew, and there you have it. Autumn»
She didnt take Barbara to the hospitalshe treated her at home, the way she always did. The first night, Barbara ran a high fever, drifting in and out of restless sleep, dreaming short, fleeting dreams. She was eight years old.
In the morning, Edith saw that she was awake and checked her temperature.
«Thank God, its come down. Barb, how are you feeling? What do you need?»
«Tea,» Barbara murmured, licking her dry lips before closing her eyes again.
«Of course, my dear. Ill mash some berries for you, add honeybest thing for illness. Clears it right up.»
Barbara knew this remedy well. Whenever she was sick, her grandmother made the same drink. After finishing it, she scooped up the bittersweet pulp left at the bottom of the cupshe loved the taste. When Edith wasnt busy, she sat beside Barbara, knitting socks, humming old songs, or telling stories from her youth. And every evening, without fail, she prayedsometimes even in the daytimeasking God to help Barbara recover.
One evening, as Barbara watched her grandmother pray before the icons in the corner, where a small oil lamp flickered, a sudden dread gripped her.
«What if Grandma dies? Ill be all alone.»
The thought had never crossed her mind before. Now, it terrified her.
She pictured Edith lying in a coffinshe had seen old Mrs. Clarke buried earlier that autumn. Shed played with her grandson, Sammy, and they walked to school together. Her grandmother had taken her to the neighbors house to «say goodbye to Clara,» as shed put it.
The fear of being left alone made Barbara cry. Just then, Edith came over.
«Whats wrong, love? Why are you crying?» she asked softly, stroking Barbaras hair.
«Grandma will you die?»
Edith paused.
«Me? Well, yes, one day. Everyone doesthats how life is.»
«But not soon?»
«Whenever God wills it. Why do you ask?»
«I dont know Why do people die?»
«Well, thats just how it is, love. We all go when our time comes.»
«But why?»
«Thats not for us to know, sweetheart,» Edith said after a moment. «Live a good life, follow Gods commandments, and thats all there is to it. When the hour comes, youll go as you should.»
«So God decides?»
«Of course He does.»
«Can He make someone live a long time?»
«He can do anything,» Edith said, crossing herself before leaving the room.
An idea struck Barbara.
«I wonder what Grandma prays for. Does she ask God to let her live long? She must. Then I should ask toofor her. I dont want to be alone. She says childrens prayers are heard fastest. But how do I do it so no one sees or hearsexcept God?»
The next day, Edith went to church. Barbara saw her chance.
«Barb, Ill be back soon. Would you like me to send Sammy over?»
«No, Grandma. Ill be fine. Hell come by later anyway.»
«Suit yourself. Im off to church to pray.»
Barbara watched from the window as Edith walked down the lane toward the church. She drew the curtains tightno one must see her praying.
On the little shelf stood several icons. She recognized St. Nicholas and the Virgin MaryEdith had told her about them. She stood before them, unsure who to ask. The house was silent. She settled on St. Nicholas.
«I dont know any prayers,» she thought.
The saints painted eyes seemed to watch her, making her uneasy.
«I want to ask for Grandma to live long, but how do I start? How do you talk to a saint?»
She stood there, staring, then an idea came.
«If I just ask, theyll understand. They know Im little. But Ill ask Grandma latershell teach me.»
She looked at St. Nicholas and whispered:
«Please dont let my Grandma Edith ever die I mean, let her live a long, long time. Her legs and heart hurtwhat if she dies soon? Shes old, and Im scared to be alone. Make her strong I love her so much. She prays to You all the timeshes at church now.»
Barbara poured out everything in her heart. It ached with hope that St. Nicholas would listen. Then she lay down to wait.
When Edith returned, she handed Barbara a chocolate bar.
«How are you, love?»
«Fine, Grandma. Can you teach me how to pray to St. Nicholas?»
«Same as to any saint. Why do you ask?»
«Is there a special prayer?»
«Oh, many. Ill teach you one tonight.»
«Okay.»
Edith went to the kitchen, thoughtful.
«Whats gotten into her? Asking about prayers Well, its good. I must teach her at least one.»
That night, as Edith prayed, Barbara watched and repeated some words. When Edith sat by her bed, Barbara asked:
«Grandma, does St. Nicholas ask God for us?»
Edith smiled, stroking her hair.
«In a way. He prays for our health and happiness.»
Barbara fell asleep quickly, dreaming of a tall, white-bearded man in robes, holding a book, smiling kindly at her.
She woke up well, at peace.
«God heard me. Grandma will live long.»
Edith came in, smiling.
«How are you feeling?» She touched Barbaras forehead. «No fever. Lets check anyway.»
«Im fine, Grandma. Really. I want to go back to school.»
«Good. Sammy asked after you. Hell visit after class.»
Edith lived to eighty-eight. Barbara married, had a daughter, and cared for her grandmother tenderly until the endjust as Edith had said.
Though Barbara doesnt go to church often, today she lights a candlefor her parents, and for Edith, on her birthday. Shes carried that love all her life.
