Do you mean he actually wants to come back? I asked, not quite catching the tone in my sisterinlaws voice. Weve been strangers for almost fifteen years since the divorce.
Its true, Alex Smith admitted, searching for the right words. I understand that younger people make mistakes, but theres nothing left to split now.
The only thing we still share is you, Jane, our neighbour, muttered, unable to see the point. But you and Poppy are grownup, have families, and you decide who to talk to. What does that make me?
My father realised you wouldnt want to hear him out, so he asked me and my sister to smooth things over, Alex tried to explain. It would have been easier for us if we knew you were still living together and supporting each other.
Mary, my exwife, was still finishing the tea with the kids when her daughter, Poppy, rang. Mum, you have to understand its our father, and his health is failing, she pleaded.
Back when he was young and full of vigor, he never mentioned me at all. Now everythings changed in a flash, Mary tried to keep her voice steady. Youve forgotten he left me and you for another woman years ago!
But theyre long separated, and it would be nice for you both to live together now that were getting older, Darryl, Poppys friend, pressed.
The conversation left Mary heavyhearted. After the divorce she had given everything to the children and never tried to rebuild her own life, fearing she might hurt them, since theyd both been through the pain of their parents splitting up during their teenage years. Now it seemed they were speaking entirely different languages, barely hearing one another. A memory of the day Anthony left resurfaced, making things worse.
I dont love you any more, he had said then, averting his eyes. Ive met someone else and I intend to stay with her forever.
What about the kids? Mary had asked, voice trembling.
Youll continue as before, just without me, he replied. The flat stays with you. Ill see the children when I can and help with money, but I dont love you any longer.
You havent thought about how theyll take your departure at our age? Mary could hardly believe it.
Theyll manage. Let them see how adult life works; its not right to live without love, sorry, he said, ending the conversation.
Anthony kept his word. He never claimed the flat in the divorce, stayed with his new partner, and met the children only on neutral ground because he lacked the courage to step into the flat, and his new girlfriend never invited them over. Mary tried once to explain the reasons for the split to Alex and Poppy, but they didnt want the details.
Our father said it was his decision and asked us to respect it, Alex, now a man, said bluntly a few years later. Its hard with Poppy, but eventually things will settle.
For Mary nothing settled. She mourned the marriage, wept into her pillow at night, and turned down any suggestion from friends to set her up with another man. He only reminded her of himself when he phoned once, out of habit.
Were heading off on holiday, and I left my fishing gear on the cupboard, he said over the phone. Can I pick it up on Saturday? I wanted the children to bring it, but they didnt know where it was.
Alright, come by, Mary replied as calmly as she could.
She spent the week counting down to Saturday, rehearsing the conversation. She wanted to show Anthony that she could live well without him and even thought of meeting him in full regalia, then realised it would look foolish and backed off.
Youve lost weight, she remarked as he packed his boxes. Is the new wife not feeding you?
She does, I just work a lot, he muttered, unwilling to discuss his new life.
If you need, I can cook for you or pass on your favourite recipes, Mary said, halfjoking, halfdesperate.
That sarcasm isnt your style, Anthony replied tiredly. Were strangers now. Well always have the children, eventually grandchildren, and thats it.
Are you sure? Mary asked, hopeful.
Yes, he answered firmly.
He then left for his new wife, and Mary sat alone in the kitchen, tears of selfpity spilling over. In the year after the divorce shed thinned dramatically, then forced herself to pull together. She put on a brave face, though deep down she still hoped Anthony would have a change of heart and return. She knew people would judge, but she was ready to take him back and forget the past.
Dad and his woman split, the children told Mary three years later. Hes moved into a flat in a student hall.
The news oddly gave her a flicker of hope that Anthony might come back. She started dressing more stylishly, took extra care of herself, and waited for his first move. Her friends thought shed sorted her love life, but they didnt press for details, so she brushed it off with jokes. She waited, Anthony didnt return, and eventually he paired up with another woman. He even attended his sons wedding, though he came alone to Poppys.
Why alone? Mary asked.
Irina was on a work trip, couldnt make it, but she sent her wishes, he answered calmly.
With time Mary began to see things differently, stopped waiting, and threw herself into work, bought a cottage out of town, and spent free moments on herself. The children had their own lives, and she filled her days with friends, family, flowers, and even a stray cat she brought home. Life seemed to settle until a conversation with the kids left her uneasy again. A few days later she was walking past her block when she spotted Anthony returning from work.
I realised we should leave the bad stuff behind, he said, seated at her kitchen table with a mug of tea. Most of life is behind us, the negativity has grown like weeds, and theres no point in keeping it alive. Lets spend the rest of our days together, raise the grandchildren.
Tell me honestly, why come back to our flat instead of staying with any of your new partners? Mary asked, no longer pretending to be cheerful.
My health isnt what it used to be, Im retiring next year, he answered. Our children are good people; they wont abandon us in old age.
You remember saying we were strangers? she pressed, looking him in the eyes. I understood it later, and now I agree.
So you wont take me back? he asked.
Dont worry, you said the kids were good and theyll look after you, Mary replied. You crossed me out of your life years ago; let it stay that way.
Anthony left again, and Mary settled into her favourite armchair, switched off her phone, knowing he would soon call the children and theyd start asking endless questions. All she wanted now was quiet. She had waited so long for his return that it finally burnt out. If he had spoken of growing old together, perhaps she would have taken him back. Instead he cared only for his own comfort, and no one was there to console Mary. She still had her children, friends, cottage, and cat, and that seemed more than enough.
