So you mean Father wants to come back? Emma, my sister, asked, not quite catching my words. We’ve been strangers for almost fifteen years since the divorce.
That’s how it is, Alex murmured, searching for the right phrasing. I understand that young people make mistakes, but now there’s nothing left to share.
Theres really nothing we have in common any more, I said, puzzled. You and Daisy are grown, have your own families, and you decide who to talk to. Why am I even involved?
Father knew you wouldn’t listen, so he asked Daisy and me to nudge you a little, Alex tried to justify. It would be easier for us if we knew you and Daisy lived together and supported each other.
Before I could gather my thoughts, my daughter called, dragging the same painful subject back into the room.
Mum, you have to understand, he’s our father and his health is failing, she pleaded.
When your father was young and full of vigor, he never thought of me at all, and now everything has shifted, I kept my voice steady. Perhaps youve forgotten he abandoned me and you both years ago for another woman!
But they split long ago, and it would be nice for you two to live together now that old age is creeping up, Diana pressed, her tone sharp.
A heavy weight settled over me after that conversation. I had given everything to the marriage, never tried to rebuild a life after the split, fearing to hurt the children, who themselves had struggled with the sudden loss of their parents during their teenage years. Now it seemed we spoke different languages, barely hearing each other. The memory of the day Arthur left resurfaced, making everything worse.
You know, I dont love you any more, he had said then, eyes turned away. Ive found someone else, and I want to spend the rest of my days with her.
What about the children? I had asked, my voice trembling.
Youll live as you did before, just without me, he continued. The flat stays yours; Ill keep in touch with the kids and help with money when I can, but I dont love you any longer.
Did you ever think how theyd take your leaving at this age? I could not believe it.
Theyll manage, let them learn the details of adult life. Its wrong to live without love, forgive me, he replied, closing the conversation.
Arthur kept his word. He never claimed the flat in the divorce, stayed with his new partner, and met the children only on neutral ground because he lacked the courage to step into the old house, while his new partner never invited them over. I tried to explain the reasons for the split to my son and daughter, but they refused to go deeper.
Father told us it was his decision and asked us to respect it, Alex announced later, now a man. Its tough with Daisy, but eventually things will settle.
For me, nothing settled. I missed my husband, wept into my pillow at night, and turned down friends suggestions to set me up with anyone else. He reminded me of his presence only through the occasional call about the children.
Were planning a holiday, and I left my fishing gear on the loft, he said one day on the phone. Can I pick it up on Saturday? I asked the kids to bring it, but they didnt know where it was.
Fine, come over, I replied as calmly as I could.
I spent the days leading up to that Saturday replaying the conversation, planning how to show Arthur I could thrive without him, even considering meeting him at a parade. Then I thought it would look absurd and changed my mind.
Youve lost weight, I remarked, watching Arthur pack his boxes. Does your new wife not feed you?
She does, I just work a lot, he muttered, avoiding any talk of his new life.
If you like, I can bring you a meal or send her my favourite recipes, I blurted, aware of the silliness but unable to stop.
Sarcasm isnt your style, Tom said wearily. Were strangers now. Well always share children, later grandchildren, and thats it.
Are you sure? I asked, a flicker of hope.
Absolutely, he answered firmly.
He left for his new wife, and I sat alone in the kitchen, tears of selfpity slipping down my cheeks. Within a year of the divorce I had thinned dramatically, then tried to pull myself together. I forced a smile while a quiet hope lingered that Arthur might someday see sense and return. I knew people would judge, but I was ready to take him back and forget the past.
Father and his lady have split, the children told me three years later. Hes now moved into a room at a student hall.
That news somehow rekindled a faint hope of his return. I started dressing fashionably, tended to my appearance, and waited for his first step. Friends remarked that my love life was sorted, but I brushed off the details with jokes. I waited, Arthur didnt come back, and eventually he paired with another woman. He even attended his sons wedding, but showed up alone to Daisys.
Why alone? I asked.
Irene was on a work trip, couldnt make it, but she sent her wishes, he replied calmly.
Time shifted my view. I calmed down, stopped waiting, and found solace in work, a cottage out of town, and spare moments devoted to myself. The children built their own lives; I filled mine with friends, family, flowers, and one day a stray cat I rescued. Things seemed to settle, until a sudden conversation with the kids shook me again. I spent several days uncertain how to act, then saw Arthur returning from work at the doorstep.
You see, I thought we should leave the bad behind, he said, sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of tea. Most of life is behind us, the negativity has overgrown, and theres no point in dwelling on it. Lets spend the rest of our days together and raise grandchildren.
Tell me honestly, why come back to our flat instead of staying with any of your new partners? I asked, dropping the pretense of joy.
My health isnt what it used to be; Im retiring next year, he answered truthfully. I figured our children are good enough; they wont abandon us, even in old age.
Do you remember calling us strangers? I said, looking into his eyes, the man I once loved. I understood that later, and now I fully agree.
So you wont take me back? he asked.
Dont worry, you said the kids are good and wont let you down, I replied. You crossed me out of your life years ago; let it stay that way.
Arthur left again, and I remained alone in my favourite armchair, turning off my phone, knowing he would soon call the children, and they would flood me with questions and opinions. All I wanted now was quiet and peace. I had waited for his return for so long that the flame finally burned out. Had he spoken of growing old together, perhaps I would have taken him back. Instead, he cared only for his own comfort, and no one was there to comfort me. I still had my children, friends, the cottage, and the cat, and that seemed more than enough.
