I was sitting across from Emma Clarke in my modest office on Baker Street, and she stared at me with tears welling up.
«Emma, you and your husband share equal blame for the divorce,» I said, meeting her gaze directly.
«No, it’s his fault!» she snapped. «He tore the family apart!»
«Listen, Emma, when a marriage ends the fault is split evenly5050, not 9010 or 6040,» I replied calmly. «You couldn’t build a healthy partnership.»
She clutched her hands, desperate. «What am I supposed to do? I have two daughtersPoppy and Lily. David loves them, but I hate him. How can I manage?»
I tried to reassure her. «First, take a breath. You can’t rush into anything or you’ll break. Who will look after the girls? They need a stable mother, not a hysterical one. Are you even thinking about new relationships?»
«Never!» she shouted. «I dont want to be disappointed again.»
«Don’t be so hasty,» I warned. «You’re still young; life lies ahead. Why did you marry in the first place?»
«For happiness,» she whispered, and tears began to fall.
«That’s natural. Everyone wants happiness, yet many end up divorcing. School teaches us maths, not the art of marriage. The result? Couples rush to the altar, then rush to the courthouse, while the golden years slip by.»
She sobbed. «I tried for fifteen years. I put up with David, but he was a dead weightnever listening, never caring. Im fed up. I cant even look at him now. Our love is shattered.»
I leaned forward, a faint smile playing on my lips. «How about an experiment, Emma?»
«What kind?» she asked, eyes brightening with curiosity.
«Give yourself a pause. Find a ‘practice partner’someone to rehearse the dynamics of a relationship. Learn how to live with a man again, comfortably. Who could that be?»
She frowned. «Where am I supposed to find such a fool?»
«You don’t need to look far. That ‘practice partner’ could be your exhusband.»
«How?»
«You’re not attached to him anymore. If he walks away, it doesnt matter. Try it; its a winwin.»
The idea lodged. I wasnt wagering anything; I wasnt sorry for David Clarke. Let him go.
So I left the flat we shared, took Poppy and Lily, and moved into a rented flat in Camden. The court granted the divorce. David pleaded, begged me to wait, but I burned the bridges. After fifteen years of marriage I craved solitude.
Soon David was franticsending cheap gifts, flowers, even inviting me to a spa. His attention was belated and flimsy. I was exhausted. He still couldnt accept it was over.
When I settled into the new flat, relief washed over me. I felt like Id finally stepped into paradise, floating on clouds.
Then my daughters snapped me back to reality.
«Mum, why is Daddy to blame?»
I was stunned. How could I explain to them that life with their father was no longer an option, that his words were empty wind, that the world felt cramped and grey? That was when I decided to see a counsellor again for guidance.
A month after the split I phoned David.
«Hey, David. How are you? Fancy meeting up? I have a few things to ask.»
«Emma? Of course, any time!» he exclaimed, his voice bubbling with relief.
We met in HydePark, on a bench under the trees. He kept inching closer, trying to take my hand. We talked about nothing in particular. No real questions from me. He walked me home, placed a warm kiss on my cheek, and handed the girls a small gift.
Peeking through the flats front window, I saw David still standing outside. I waved; he blew a kiss back.
Those simple meetups with my ex felt oddly satisfyingno shouting, no broken dishes, just colour returning to my days.
We settled into a routine: coffee in a café, a film at the Odeon, a stroll through the park, once a month. My life seemed stitched together with joy. I started weaving a new path, one that included David, at least as a friend.
A year passed.
«David, are we meeting today?» I asked, hopeful.
«Sorry, Emma, I’m swamped. Ill call when Im free,» he replied, hanging up.
That happened three or four times. My nerves frayed. Was someone else taking his place? Had he found a new love? Jealousy rose. I needed answers.
I called him again.
«David, the girls miss you. Lets take them to the zoo.»
«Emma, I have a wife in the maternity ward,» he said, breathless.
«What wife? Are you joking?» I shouted.
«I’m not. Were expecting a baby with Lily.»
My mouth went dry. I could only manage, «Goodbye. I wish you endless happiness.»
And with that, I hung up, letting the final words drift away.
