**Diary Entry**
I checked my sleeping husbands phone to see the time and saw a notification that shattered my world.
*No, Mrs. Thompson, its impossible! I cant take leave now! Weve got the quarterly reports due, and the tax audit is looming!* My hands trembled as I shuffled papers, avoiding my bosss glare. *Please, ask someone elseanyone!*
*Who else?* The stern woman in her sharply tailored suit leaned across the desk. *Marys on maternity leave, Sophies off with her sick child, and Olivias hopelessshed mix up every document in the file! Youre the only one who can handle the branch inspections.*
*But my sons ill, my mother cant come to help, and my husbands always away,* I said, fighting the lump in my throat. *I physically cant go to Manchester for a week!*
*Your personal issues dont concern me,* she snapped. *Either go on this business trip, or hand in your resignation. Choose.*
I left her office feeling hollow. In the hallway, my colleague Jessica caught up to me.
*Rough meeting?* she asked sympathetically. *I could hear you through the door.*
*An understatement,* I sighed. *I dont know what to do. Jamies just recovered from pneumonia, and Daniels tied up with the project in Birmingham. How am I supposed to manage everything?*
*What about your mother-in-law? Could she look after Jamie?*
I scoffed.
*Oh, please. Margaret thinks raising a child is *my* job, and hers is just to criticise how I do it. No, thank you.*
Back at my desk, I mechanically reviewed files, but my mind was elsewhere. Thirty-eight years old and still juggling work, motherhood, and a household alone. Daniel was never there when I needed him most.
That evening, after putting Jamie to bed, I collapsed onto the sofa. My head pounded. I called Danielno answer, probably stuck in another meeting. Fifteen years of marriage had taught me to expect his absences, but sometimes the weight of it all crushed me.
Finally, my phone rangDaniel.
*Hi, love,* he sounded exhausted. *Sorry I missed your callits been chaos here.*
*Daniel, Ive been assigned a business trip,* I cut straight to it. *A week in Manchester. Jamies still recovering, and school isnt an option. Can you come home?*
Silence. Then
*Emily, you know I cant. Were two weeks from deadline. I wish I could, but*
*But you cant,* I finished flatly. *As usual.*
*Dont start,* his voice sharpened. *Im not here on holiday. Im working to provide for us.*
*So am I,* I snapped. *Except Im also raising our child, managing the house, cooking your meals*
*Not now, Emily,* he interrupted. *Im dead on my feet. Maybe your mum can come? Or ask Hannah next door to watch Jamie after school.*
*Easy for you to say,* I whispered, blinking back tears. *Fine. Ill figure it out. Like always.*
After hanging up, I sat staring blankly at the TV. When had we stopped being a team? When did we become two strangers, too tired to even talk?
The next three days blurred together. I negotiated a delay on the trip, convinced my mother to come down from Surrey to watch Jamie. Daniel was supposed to return Saturdayjust before I left.
Friday night, I stayed up late prepping files. Mum was asleep in the guest room, Jamie in his. When my phone buzzed, I startled.
*Emily, its me.* Daniel sounded guilty. *Bad newsIm stuck here two more days. Unexpected project delays.*
*What?* My stomach dropped. *Daniel, I leave Sunday! We agreed!*
*I know!* He sighed. *But if I dont finish this, we lose the bonus. Its serious money, Em.*
*And me taking Jamie along isnt an option?* I kept my voice low.
*Your mums already there, isnt she? Just a couple more days. Ill be back Tuesday.*
*Shes seventy-one, Daniel! Her arthritis is killing her!* My grip on the phone turned my knuckles white. *Shes waited months for this doctors appointment!*
*Then ask Hannah or hire a sitter,* he said impatiently. *Figure it out, Emily. I cant be in two places at once!*
*But I can?* I hissed. *Im always the one fixing everything! When was the last time you took care of Jamie? Or me?*
*Im killing myself at work to support us!* he exploded. *To give Jamie everything! What more do you want?*
*For you to just *be here* when I need you,* I whispered, tears spilling. *But I guess thats too much.*
I hung up and pressed my palms to my eyes. What now? Refuse the trip and risk my job? Leave my son with my frail mother? Hire a stranger?
Exhausted, I dozed off at the table. I woke with a stiff neck2:30 a.m. I dragged myself to bed, then realised Id left my phone in the living room. Too tired to fetch it, I spotted Daniels on the nightstandhed rushed off without it.
I picked it up just to check the time2:37. Then a notification flashed.
*Darling, thank you for tonight. Tomorrow, mine as usual? Kisses, L.*
My hands went numb. This couldnt be real. Not Daniel. Not after fifteen years, a child, a life built together.
Trembling, I unlocked itthe pin was Jamies birthday. The messages were undeniable. Daniel had been seeing this woman for six months. His «business trips»? Lies. He wasnt in Birmingham now. He was here, with her.
I sank onto the bed. Fifteen years, wiped out in an instant. I thought of our wedding, our honeymoon in Cornwall, Jamies birth. Every hardship wed facedor so Id believed.
There were photos, too. I forced myself to look. A woman in her thirties, red-haired, laughing. Beautiful. Far more than I was nowwrinkled, greying, exhausted.
I stood before the mirror. When had I become this shadow of myself? When had I stopped being a woman and just become a mother, a wife, a caretaker?
Another message buzzed: *Not answering? Sleeping, I hope. Sweet dreams, my love.*
Rage surged. How *dare* he? My first instinct was to call him, scream, shatter his lies like hed shattered mine.
But I stopped myself. Nothis wasnt a phone conversation. I needed to see his face when he answered for this.
Instead, I dialled my best friend. Who cared if it was 3 a.m.?
*Hannah? Can you watch Jamie tomorrow? I need to go away for a bit.*
*Emily? Whats happened?*
*Later. Its family stuff.*
I hung up and packed. My mind was eerily clear. I had the addressright there in his messages. A flat in central London, rented for «client meetings.» Now I knew the truth.
The next morning, after leaving Jamie with Mum and arranging for Hannah, I took a taxi. The driver eyed my pale face, silent.
The building was modern, sleek, with a concierge. I gave Daniels name*Mrs. Daniels here to see him*and was waved through. In the lift, my legs nearly gave way. What would I say? What would I do after?
The door opened. *Her*the woman from the photo. Silk robe, hair loose. Glowing. She frowned.
*Who are you?*
*Emily. Daniels wife. May I come in?*
Her face shiftedshock, fear, then defiance.
*Hes not here.*
*I know,* I stepped past her. *Hell be back later, right? «As usual,» quoting your text.*
The flat was spacious, stylish. Two wine glasses on the table. A shirt on the sofa*Id* bought that for Daniel.
*You must be Lucy,* I said, spotting *L.C.* on a towel.
She nodded. *Look, I didnt mean*
*To break up a marriage?* I laughed bitterly. *But here we are.*
*Daniel said you were over. That you stayed together for Jamie. That you were divorcing.*
*How original,* I shook my head. *And you believed him?*
*I fell in love with him,* she whispered. *Hes so attentive. Makes time for me, even leaves work early.*
The words stung. For *me*, he never had time.
*Do you even know the real Daniel?* I asked softly. *The one who forgets birthdays, misses school plays, cant name my favourite meal. Who promises to be there, then always finds an excuse.*
She looked away. I studied the flattheir photo on the dresser (*when did they take that?*), his clothes in the wardrobe, slippers by the sofa.
*How long?*
*Six months.*
*And all this time, he came home, smiled at me, hugged Jamie, pretended everything was fine,* I murmured. *I thought he was distant because of work. I even saw a therapist, trying to fix us.*
Lucys eyes flickered with something like pity.
*Im sorry. I didnt know*
The door opened. Daniel stood there, flowers in hand, grocery bag at his feet. He froze.
*Emily? What?*
*Guess,* I said, voice steady. *I came to meet your new family. Funny how you find time for romantic dinners here, but never at home.*
He set the bag down slowly.
*I can explain*
*Dont bother,* I cut in. *I read your texts. Your phone was at home. You forgot it before your «trip to Birmingham.»*
He paled, running a hand through his haira gesture I once loved.
*I didnt want you to find out like this. I was going to talk after your trip.*
*And say what?* I crossed my arms. *That youve moved on? That you dont love me? Or just that you got bored playing husband?*
*We havent been *us* in years,* he said, weary but firm. *Were roommates, Emily. Youre always working or with Jamie. We dont talk, dont touch, dont *live*. Its not a marriageits a habit.*
*And instead of fixing it, you ran to her?* My voice cracked. *You never even tried!*
*I did!* he shot back. *I suggested a holidayjust us. Sending Jamie to your mums. Dinner for our anniversary. You always had an excuse!*
I went still. Was he right? Had I pushed him away, buried in my own exhaustion?
Lucy stood. *I should go*
*Stay,* I said flatly. *This is your home. Ours is broken.*
I moved to leave, but Daniel grabbed my arm.
*Wait. We need to talk. Think about Jamie.*
*Jamie?* I wrenched free. *You *abandoned* us, lied for months, built a life with her, and now you remember youre a father?*
*I never forgot him!* he insisted. *I love him! Ive *provided**
*Money isnt enough,* I said softly. *He needs you *here*not just gifts between «business trips.»*
I walked out. In the lift, I finally let the tears fall. Fifteen years, gone. The life Id built, destroyed.
Outside, I breathed in the crisp morning air. What now? Go home, pack, take Jamie to Mums? Stay and kick Daniel out? Try to salvage this for Jamie? Or accept its over?
I didnt know. But one thing was clearnothing would ever be the same.
Pulling out my phone, I dialled my boss.
*Mrs. Thompson? About the trip. Yes, Ill go. Today, if necessary.*
Sometimes running forward is easier than looking backespecially when all thats behind you is wreckage.
