Your time is up, said her husband, gesturing toward the door.
That smell again! I asked you not to smoke in the house! Margaret flung open the living room windows, yanking the curtains aside in frustration. Good Lord, even the sofa reeks. What will Eleanor and her husband think when they come for dinner?
Whats there to think? Edward deliberately stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray. Theyll think a proper man lives hereone who enjoys a smoke now and then. Big deal.
Proper men, Edward, Margaret snapped, smoke on the balcony or outside. Not indoors, poisoning the air. My head aches from the fumes.
Here we go, Edward rolled his eyes. Twenty-five years with a smoking husband, and suddenly its a problem. Maybe its the change, darling.
Margaret stiffened, pressing her lips together. Lately, hed taken to jabbing at her age, as if it were some weakness. And somehow, it always struck true.
Whats that got to do with anything? She turned toward the window to hide the tears pricking her eyes. Im only asking for basic respect. Is it so hard to step outside?
Respect? He scoffed. Wheres yours for me? After work, I want to sit in my chair, have a cuppa, and smoke in peacenot dart about like a schoolboy. This is my home!
Our home, she corrected softly.
Fine, ours, he conceded grudgingly. Only, I pay the mortgage. And the bills. And for that new coat of yours.
Margaret inhaled deeply. Shed heard this argument a thousand times. Yes, shed been at home these past fifteen yearsraising the children, caring for his mother, then simply settling into the rhythm of housework. And Edward had grown fond of reminding her.
I dont want another row, she said wearily. Just please smoke on the balcony. Eleanor has asthmaitll be hard on her.
Alright, Edward relented unexpectedly. For precious Eleanors sake, Ill step outside. But only for tonight.
He pushed himself up from the chair and headed toward the bedroom, tossing over his shoulder, And why you invited them, Ill never know. Ive an early meeting tomorrowI need rest, not to entertain your dull friends.
Theyre not just friends, Margaret countered. Robert is the head librarian. He might help me find work.
Edward halted in the doorway and turned slowly. What work?
Margaret hesitated. Shed meant to tell him later, once things were settled. Now she had no choice.
I want a position at the library, she said, willing her voice steady. Three days a week, part-time. The children are grown, youre always at the officeits time I did something.
And wholl manage the house? he cut in. Wholl cook, clean, do the washing?
Ill manage, she forced a smile. Its only a few hours. The children hardly visit now, and we dont need elaborate meals
Your mother visits plenty, he muttered. Always expecting shepherds pie and Sunday roasts.
Mum helps with the chores, Margaret argued. Besides, she doesnt come that often.
Doesnt matter to me if its every day, Edward waved a hand dismissively. But this work nonsenseits a whim, Margaret. Youre forty-seven. What job? Stay home, tend to your hobbiesyour embroidery, your books.
My books? A spark of indignation flared in her chest. Edward, do you even remember I have a degree in English? That I taught literature before the children?
Taught, yestwenty years ago, he dropped back into his chair. Times change. Whod hire you with an old degree?
The library would, she said stubbornly. I dont need riches, Edward. I need purpose. Conversation. To feel Im good for more than laundry and your dinners.
Charming, he sneered. So home and family mean nothing? Not worthy of a clever woman like you?
You know thats not what I meant, she sighed. The same argument, again and again. Lets talk later. Weve guests coming.
She retreated to the kitchen, her heart pounding. Every conversation lately spiraled into conflict. She couldnt pinpoint when it beganonly that, somewhere along the years, theyd stopped speaking the same language. He no longer heard her.
It hadnt always been this way. Theyd met at universityboth studying literature, both dreamers. Edward had written poetry; shed adored it. Then came marriage, first Charlotte, then James. Edward joined a publishing house, climbed the ranks. And Margaret stayed homewith nappies, with chores, with books that grew dustier by the year.
She hadnt noticed his gradual hardeningthe way the romantic youth became a weary, cynical man who stayed late at the office and cared less for her thoughts. By the time she noticed, it was too late. They were strangers under one roof.
Eleanor and Robert arrived promptly at seven. Robert, a burly man with a thick beard, launched into politics with Edward. Eleanor, birdlike and bright-eyed, followed Margaret to the kitchen.
Hows Edwards mood? she asked, slicing tomatoes. Did you talk about the job?
No, Margaret sighed. Hes against it.
What did you expect? Eleanor shrugged. Men hate changeespecially when it threatens their comfort.
But nothing would change, Margaret pulled a casserole from the oven. Id still manage the housejust a few hours out, three days a week.
To him, thats catastrophe, Eleanor chuckled. Imaginehe comes home, and youre not there. The horror!
They laughed, and Margaret felt the tension ease. Eleanor always steadied her.
Dinner began civilly. Edward was pleasant, even joking, asking Robert about new releases. Margaret dared to hopeperhaps hed simply been in a foul mood earlier.
Speaking of books, Eleanor turned to Margaret. Have you told Edward about our plan?
What plan? Edward looked up from his plate.
Well Margaret faltered. We discussed me leading a childrens reading group. At the library.
And when was this meant to start? Edwards voice held an edge.
Next month, Eleanor replied blithely. Twice weekly, two-hour sessions. Hardly a burden.
Fascinating, Edward set down his fork. Were you planning to consult me?
I tried today, Margaret said quietly.
I dont recall a discussion, Edward addressed the guests. You see, Margarets taken a sudden fancy to working. At her age, it seems… unwise.
Why? Robert frowned. Margarets brilliantly educated. Wed be lucky to have her.
Perhaps, Edward nodded. But she has dutiesto her family. To her husband.
Edward, Margarets cheeks burned. Not in front of guests.
Why not? He scanned the table. Were all adults. Ill be plain: I wont have my wife working. Full stop.
Silence fell. Eleanor shot Robert a helpless glance; he cleared his throat.
This casserole is superb, Margaret. Would you share the recipe?
Of course, she murmured, humiliation tightening her chest.
The rest of the evening passed in stilted chatterweather, news, anything but work. When the guests left, Margaret wordlessly cleared the table.
How long were you hiding this? Edward loomed in the doorway.
I wasnt hiding it, she stacked plates. I was waiting for the right moment.
And when would that have been? After youd started?
I dont understand your anger, she turned to him. Its just a jobnot an affair, not a crime.
To me, its betrayal, he said coldly. We agreedyou tend the home, I provide. That was the bargain.
Twenty years ago! Margaret cried. Were not kids anymore, Edward. People change. Ive spent my life caring for this family, and now I want something thats mine. Not yours, not the housesmine. She set the last plate in the sink and turned to face him, her hands trembling but her voice firm. If that makes me a traitor in your eyes, then I am one. But Im doing it anyway. Edward stared, mouth half-open, as if hed never truly seen her before. The clock ticked in the silence between them. Then, without another word, she walked past him, up the stairs, and into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. For the first time in years, she did not wait for him to speak.
