I lost my sister early on. Their father had died years before, and their mother vanished while she was still in her final year at university. It was a rough stretch she was looming over her dissertation when tragedy struck. The only steady presence she had left was Jamess family, who became her closest relatives.
James and Daphne had been at university together since their third year, and his parents, Margaret and Peter, always treated her with warmth. They held her mother in high regard and looked forward to the day the two would finish their studies and marry.
The wedding was modest, and Daphne was heartbroken that her mother didnt live to see it. She remembered her mothers last advice: Before you walk down the aisle, get a full checkup, love.
Her mothers warning wasnt unfounded. As a child Daphne had suffered a serious injury when she tumbled off an icy slide. Doctors feared it might jeopardise her future reproductive health. They monitored her closely, but no one could give a definitive answer.
It was a bleak prospect. She obeyed her mothers counsel and underwent another examination before the wedding, yet even with her overall good recovery the question of whether she could bear children remained unsettled.
First she spoke to her future motherinlaw, who thought it over and said, If theres even the slightest chance, dont lose hope before the time is right. Ill speak with James myself.
After the stag night, a slightly drunk and agitated James came to her flat. I really want children, Daphne, he blurted. What if we cant? Would we still be a family?
She broke down, telling him the decision was his to make, but that they could try. The doctors had left a sliver of hope, and James was the only man she had ever loved.
The first year of marriage brought no positive news. Margaret, who adored her daughterinlaw, shared her worry. James and his father invested a great deal of effort into keeping the marriage afloat and sent Daphne to a specialist clinic in Brighton under the Womens Shield programme. It yielded promising results elsewhere, but here it did nothing.
Two years later it became clear that hope was fading. Daphne fell into despair; James supported her as best he could, yet tension grew at home. James didnt blame Daphne, but he also couldnt accept a childless life. She suggested adoption.
Lets take a little one in and raise him as our own, she said.
James refused. I could never love a child that isnt mine. I cant give him the fatherly love you expect.
Strangely, his parents sided with James. They knew how much their son longed for a child and felt it would be cruel to raise a child who would never be fully loved.
Daphne eventually spoke of divorce, though she still loved James and didnt wish to hurt him. Lets part ways, James. Youre young; youll find another wife and have children.
James hesitated, but when he met Olivia, a vivacious new colleague who had just started at the firm, he sensed his fate shifting. The conversation with Daphne was painful for him; he felt he were betraying her, but she replied, We each have our own destiny. You deserve a better life. Dont blame yourself.
That evening James left Daphnes house, taking his belongings. Her inlaws visited, apologising for not steering James away from his drunken moods. They shared tea, promised never to turn their backs on her, and assured her she would always be like a daughter to them.
Their words offered little comfort. Daphne accepted everything, thanked them, and spent the night sobbing. They settled the split quickly, keeping the assets intact. Daphne remained in the family flat shed shared with James, while he soon remarried.
She didnt stay alone for long. A handsome, kindhearted man named Paul entered her life, trying his utmost to care for her. Yet Daphne never fell for him. Her late husband haunted her dreams, never appearing happy; his eyes were sad, his hands reaching for her but never quite touching. She fought the memories, yearning to change her life.
One winter, Daphne fell seriously ill. After preparing dinner at Pauls, she felt faint; by nightfall her temperature spiked. Paul called an ambulance and kept her at his place. The next morning he was somber, tending to her without a word. When she recovered, he admitted, That night I never left your side. You kept calling his name, holding my hand, begging me not to go. Do you still love him?
She answered honestly, Yes. I love him. Im a onetrack heart. I cant build a relationship without love, Paul.
She left him for good. He didnt protest. Soon after, Daphne learned that James had finally welcomed a longawaited son. The news struck her like another blow; the pain seemed irrevocable.
For three years she drifted through a fog. Jamess parents visited as promised, offering moral support. She bore them no grudges, nor towards her exhusband. One day she saw James in the park with his little boy, but she didnt approach; he didnt notice her. Tears fell again, a relentless mix of love and resentment.
Eventually she began to pull herself together, finding solace in the fact that James was happy. His parents spoke of his good wife, though they kept a polite distance, and of their grandson Eddie, whom they adored. We hold no ill will, they told her. He never deceived you; he loved in his own way. I insisted on the divorce myself.
On her birthday James rang, purely in a friendly tone, wishing her well. The call jolted her emotions, and she decided it was better not to keep in touch.
A year later tragedy struck again: Olivia, Jamess wife, fell ill. Margaret called her, saying there was no hope left, weeping for her son and grandson. Daphne, unable to locate herself, fretted for them.
She stood at the cemetery after the funeral, not knowing why she was there, merely unable to stay away. An old motherinlaw embraced her, whispering, Thank you, dear. Theres no spite in your heart.
James never noticed her then. Months later he called, brief and tentative, asking if he could visit. Daphne, though wary, let him in, sensing his hardship.
He had changed; age had settled into his onceyouthful demeanor. They sat at a modestly set table and talked about life.
Why dont you marry again? he asked.
She replied simply, I love you, and I need no one else. James wept then, a sight she had never witnessed before.
He suggested, Shall we go to the grandparents? I need to pick Eddie up, then perhaps we could take a walk, if youre willing. The boy was bright but shy, clearly still reeling from losing his mother at such a tender age. Daphne remained neutral, not crowding him, while he eyed her with curious interest.
Their meetings grew regular, almost every weekend, without any obligationsjust two people easing their loneliness.
Then Margaret called, saying James intended to ask Daphne to return. He was still undecided, still grieving, and Eddie suffered. Without delay, Daphne phoned James, agreed, and they moved back together. It was hard; James was distant and taciturn, and she had to learn to love a child not her own.
The turning point came on Daphnes next birthday. Little Eddie handed her a drawing of the three of them standing under a sun, with a child’s hand scrawling Mum above her head. She burst into tears, hugging the boy, and whispered, Your mother watches you from above, proud of how wonderful you are. I love you too; youre my son now.
They now live peacefully. James has thawed, accepted her love, and become the caring, affectionate man he once was. Daphne finally feels the happiness she chased for years of solitude. She never was devout, but occasionally she visits a church and lights a candle for the woman who left this world, yet gave her a beloved son and a loving husband.
