Emily had been on her own for a long time. Her father had long since passed, and her mother died while Emily was still on her final year at university. It was a tough spot degree defence looming and a funeral already behind her. The only family she now truly had were Toms folks, the only people she could really call close.
Emily and Tom had been classmates since the third year, and their parents, Margaret and Peter, had always treated her like one of their own, with genuine warmth. They respected her mother, too. Everyone waited impatiently for the day the couple would finish their studies and tie the knot.
The wedding was modest, and Emily, or Em as she liked to be called, was still a little sad that her mum hadnt lived to see it. She also remembered her mothers parting advice: Before you get married, darling, have a proper health checkup.
Emily knew exactly why her mother had been so insistent. As a child shed taken a nasty tumble down an icy sledding hill, suffering a serious injury that doctors feared might later affect her womanly health. They kept a close eye on her, but no one could give a definitive answer.
It wasnt comforting. True to her mums words, Emily went for a checkup again before the wedding. While most things looked fine, the question of whether she could ever have a baby remained unresolved.
First she talked to her future motherinlaw, who paused thoughtfully and said, If theres even the smallest chance, dont lose heart before the time comes. Ill speak with Tom myself.
After the bachelor party, a slightly tipsy Tom came home looking dejected. Em, I really want children, you know? What if it never works out? Would we still be a family? he blurted.
Emily burst into tears, telling him the decision was his, but that they could at least try. The doctors gave them a glimmer of hope, and Tom was the only man shed ever truly loved.
The first year of marriage brought no good news. Margaret, ever the doting motherinlaw, was just as anxious as Emily, whom she adored. Together with Peter, they tried everything to keep the marriage afloat and even sent Emily to a specialist clinic in Bath under the NHS Womens Shield programme, touted for its promising results.
Sadly, it didnt work either. Two years later the reality set in: hope was fading. Emily fell into despair, and while Tom did his best to support her, tension began to crack the household. Tom didnt blame Emily, but he also struggled to accept a childfree life. Emily suggested adoption:
Lets take a little one in and raise them as our own, she said.
Tom shook his head. That child will never be my son. I cant love him as a father. Please understand, Em, I just cant do that.
Oddly enough, his parents backed his stance. They knew how much Tom longed for a baby of his own and felt it would be cruel to raise a child they didnt love.
Emily, still fond of Tom, broached divorce herself not to hurt him, but because she didnt want to keep him in limbo.
Lets part ways, Tom. Youre still young; youll find another wife and have children.
Tom didnt jump at the idea, but when a sprightly new colleague, Olivia, joined their office, he instantly felt something click. The conversation with Emily was painful for him; he felt he was betraying her, but she answered gently:
Everyones fate is their own. You deserve a brighter future. Dont blame yourself.
That very evening Tom packed his things and left Emilys flat. Margaret and Peter dropped by, apologising for not steering Tom away from his gloom.
Sorry, love, we didnt see how badly he was drinking and feeling low. We were scared both of you would drown, they said over tea, reassuring Emily that theyd never turn their backs on her and would always treat her like a daughter.
Emily thanked them, wept all night, and the divorce was settled quickly no assets to split. She stayed in the family home, the one shed shared with Tom, while he soon remarried.
Emily didnt stay single for long. With her bright smile and good nature, she met Paul, a gentleman who tried his hardest to look after her. The problem? Emily didnt love him. She still dreamed of Tom, who haunted her nights with sad eyes and outstretched hands she could never quite reach. She fought the thoughts, hoping to move on.
One winter, Emily fell seriously ill. After a cozy dinner at Pauls, she felt faint, and by nightfall her temperature spiked. Paul called an ambulance and kept her in his flat while she recuperated. The next morning, looking a bit gloomy, he confessed:
Lying there, you kept calling Tom, grabbing my hand, calling him Tommy, begging me not to leave. Do you still love him?
Emily didnt try to soften the truth: Yes. I love him. Im probably a onetrack heart. Its hard, Paul. I cant build a relationship without love.
She left him for good. He didnt argue. Not long after, Emily learned that Tom had finally welcomed a longawaited son. That news hit her like a sledgehammer; the pain seemed final and irreparable.
For three years she drifted through a fog. Occasionally Toms parents visited, as promised, offering moral support. She harboured no resentment toward them or her exhusband.
One day she spotted Tom in a park with his little boy, but she didnt approach. He didnt notice her either. Tears, unquenched love, and a lingering grudge against fate followed her home.
Eventually she began to pull herself together, mostly because Tom seemed happy. His parents praised his caring wife, though they admitted he kept a cool distance from them. They adored the grandson, Edric, and begged Emily not to hold a grudge.
I dont hold it, she replied. He never lied to me. He loved in his own way, and I was the one who pushed for the divorce.
On her birthday, Tom rang unexpectedly, just as a friend would. He wished her well, asked about her life, and sent his regards. The call sent Emilys emotions spiralling again perhaps shed better cut off all contact.
A year later tragedy struck: Olivia, Toms new wife, fell ill. Margaret called her and, in tears, said there was little hope left. She wept for her son and grandson. Emily, despite everything, felt a pang of sorrow for them.
At the cemetery, Emily lingered at the back of the crowd, unsure why she was there but unable to stay away. A former motherinlaw embraced her and whispered, Thank you, dear. Theres no malice in you.
Tom never seemed to notice her there. Months later he phoned again, a bit terse, asking if he could drop by. Emily, still compassionate, invited him in, assuming he must be struggling.
Hed changed his swagger faded, his youthful bravado dimmed. Sorrow doesnt dress up nicely. They sat at a modest table and talked about life.
Why havent you remarried? he asked.
Emilys reply was simple: I love you, Tom. I dont need anyone else. Toms eyes filled with tears a sight Emily had never witnessed before.
Lets go see the grandparents. I need to fetch Edric, then we can take a walk, if youre up for it. he suggested.
The boy was sweet but shy, a typical youngster coping with the loss of his mother at a tender age. Emily kept a respectful distance, letting the child glance at her with quiet curiosity.
Their meetings became a weekly routine, no strings attached, just two people easing each others loneliness.
One afternoon Margaret called, announcing that Tom was considering asking Emily to come back, though nothing was set in stone. Hed been miserable for a year, and the child was suffering.
Emily immediately rang Tom and said she was willing. No one else mattered to her. They moved back in together, though it wasnt easy. Tom remained cold and taciturn, and Emily had to learn how to love a child that wasnt hers.
On Emilys next birthday, little Edric handed her a drawing of the three of them standing under a bright sun, with a childlike hand writing Mum above her head. She burst into tears, hugged the boy, and said:
Your mum watches over you from above, proud of how wonderful you are. I love you too. Youre my son now.
They now live happily together. Tom thawed, accepted Emilys love, and became the caring, doting father he always wanted to be. Emily finally felt the joy shed chased for years alone.
Shes never been a devout believer, but she sometimes visits the local church to light a candle for the memory of the woman who left this world, yet gave her a beloved son and a loving husband.
