Aunt Zoe, wheres Mikey?
What dyou want him for?
We were sposed to go berry pickin this mornin.
Hes gone, love. Went off with the lads.
Gone? The girls lips trembled. He *promised*
Listen, Tilly, why dyou cling to that boy, eh? Youre near old enough to be courtin, yet youre still chasin after a lad like a child. Go onplay with the girls. Leave Mikey be, theres a good lass.
Zoe couldnt stand this Tillythin-lipped, doe-eyed, leggy as a heron. Just the sight of her made Zoes skin crawl. Proper odd, she was. A child, yet somehow *unpleasant*.
Tillys eyes welled up. Zoe scoffed, shrugging as she turned toward the garden. Silly little thing. Wont let the poor lad breathe.
Just then, her son Mikey darted out from the shed.
Where you off to?
The woods.
Done the pigs?
Aye, Mum.
Straw laid down?
Laid down.
And the chickens
*Mum.* Ive been workin since dawn. Its me *holidays.* We planned thisthats why I got up early! The lads are waitin.
Which lads?
*What?* The usualTommy, Billy, Stevie, Pete, and Gary.
Miss anyone?
No, *Mum.* I *gotta go.*
And what about *her*that thin-lipped thing? A girl traipsin after boys?
*Mum.* For pitys sakewhats Tilly ever done? Shes *me mate.*
Mate? Zoe grabbed his shoulder, hissing low. *Dont* let her twist you, son. Shell bring you nothin but trouble. Listen to me.
Mum, whatre you *on* about? He wrenched free, leapt on his bike without lookin back.
Tilly! Tilly!she heard his voice ring out. Zoe sat down and wept.
Whys she so set on him? Whats she *want*? Couple years, theyll be courtin properthen hell drag this *creature* home. *Mum, Dadlove her like you love me.* No. Never.
Zoe wiped her tears, marched to the gate. Hesitated, then strode down the lane.
Near a sandpile, kids played. Zoe called to a scruffy lad.
Andyyour mum in?
Aye, he muttered, diggin a hole.
Fetch her.
*Mum!* he bellowed.
Ugh. Couldve gone himself. *Shoutin*whole familys the same.
From behind the fence, a voice.
Comin!
Out waddled AnnieAndy and Tillys mum, freckled and sharp-tongued.
Annie, come ere.
Oh, Zoewhats happened? Summat wrong with the kids? She wiped her hands, nervous.
Nothin *yet.* But your Tillyclings to *me boy.* Girl her age shouldnt
*What?*
Runnin after *lads.* Mine wont shake her.
You off your head? Theyre *children.* Playingatherin berries, feed for the rabbits
*You* mightve, *I* didnt.
Oh, *listen* to you. Who chased *me brother* Johnny? Who got whipped off our yard by *your* mum? I rememberfour years younger, but I *saw* you. Smokin behind the shed. Stare at them *dirty* pictures. Fishin trips. *Kissin*was that *lies*?
Ive said me piece. Rein your girl inor shell come home *with a belly.*
*You* didnt. Orwaitis *my Paul* Johnnys lad?
*Stupid* cow. My kids are *me husbands.* Yoursll be *mongrels.*
Mongrels? My *man* loves methats why were happy. *Yours* stays cause hes *scared.* You snatched the first bloke whod have yaafter Johnny *dropped* you. No one elsed take a nag like
Zoe knew Annies tongue was sharp. Women steered clear. But *she* was no pushover.
Meanwhilethe kids, baskets full, raced to the brook. Stripped down, splashin, laughin. Couldnt tell boy from girl.
Children hold no filthnot like adults. Theyre *clean.* It comes later.
Now, they sprawled on the sandbare as newbornsdreamin, chatterin.
Petewhatll *you* be?
Like me dadtractor driver.
Tilly? Singer, eh?
*Why* a singer?
All girls wanna be famous*five minutes, five minutes!* Gary crooned.
Tilly snorted. *You* do it. *Ill* fly planesor be a scientist.
They dont take *girls.*
*Do,* Gary, Stevie said, earnest.
Zoe fought to pull Mikey from that *creature.* Relief when he joined the army.
Shed turn away if she saw Tilly.
Once, the girl came weepin.
Aunt Zoeno letter from Mikey?
*Course* there wasyesterday. Gail brought it.
Not *me.* Her lips quivered.
Well, *he* dont wanna write ya.
*How?* He always
What dyou *want* from me?
The girl slumped off.
Hes found another, Zoe called after her. *Out there.*
Wedding bells! Groomsmen danced. Mikeys mate Gary*overjoyed*when Tilly came weepin, said *marry me*but *only* if they moved to the city.
Garyd do *anything.* Shed never glanced *at him*always trailed after Mikey. Wailed *three days* when *he* left. Gary stayedrejected from service (bad chest).
Zoe rejoiced*finally,* the girld let go
Mikey wrote home*whys Tilly silent?*
Zoe lied. *Saw herfine. Dunno why she dont write.*
She *knew* why.
Gail the postie owed her. So she kept Tillys lettersgave em to Zoe.
*Mother knows best. Boys too young.*
Mikey returnedno Tilly.
*Gone?*
Married Gary. Moved *somewhere.*
Zoe had a *nice* girl in mindNadines daughter, Lucy. *Wealthy* family. Dad ran a factory*proper* job for ya.
Mum I dont *love* her.
*Pfft.* Love? Look where *that* got ya.
Wedding feastgroom like a statue.
*Never mind,* Zoe thought. *Hell adjust. Fine housefatherll provide. Time heals.*
Ten yearsgone in a blink.
Mikey visited with his family. Tilly and Gary came home.
They met by chance. Nodded. Ought to partbut couldnt.
EveninMikey stood. Off for a smokesee Stevie.
Zoe barred the door. *Oh no, you dont.*
Mum*what?*
Lucy*go with im.*
N-no, Zoehes seein a *mate.*
To *her?* That *cow-eyed*
*Mum. Move.*
His feet took him to the river. Next daysame. Thirdhe turned to leavesaw a shadow.
She came.
No words. No blame. Just held each other under the old cherry tree. Even the moon hidsparin them its glare.
*Does it care* if this is wrong? *Lovers*thats all it sees.
Twenty more years passed.
They *never* crossed the line.
*Not love?* Oh, it *was.* But *duty* mattered more.
Mikeys wife? Tillys husband? The *kids*?
NowMikey stood by his wifes grave. Three years a widower.
Visited Mum. She confessed*how* shed torn them apart.
He forgave. *Long* past hurtin. Just an ache remained.
Mikey?
He turned. Tillysmall as a girl, scarf tied neat. Sat beside him.
Chatted awhile.
Lifes gone by, Mikey.
*Past* us, Tilly.
Why *past*? Not *together*? Meant to *be* this way Dont blame Garyhe *saved* me. Then I *loved* him.
*Gratitude?* Mikey smirked.
*No.* For his *gentle* soul. His *love*what he bore from *me*
MikeyI *beg* youdont scorn him. Help him
She stood.
*Help how?*
But she was gone.
That nightGary called.
*Shes* gone.
*Where?* Thenhe *knew.*
WaitIll come.
*Please.*
Two old friendsshoulder to shoulder.
Shed been ill Didnt want anyone Your wife?
*Three years.*
Hard.
Aye whole *life* together.
Well stick, eh? Whos left?
Stevie. Tony.
Good.
Life flies like *one* day. Yet when you *look* back*decades.* Feels like *yesterday*us splashing bare-arsed Now *here* we are.
Same, mate.
Maybe Mum *knew* summat Who can say?
Too late now.
(To live a lifes no stroll through fields
Its climbs and falls and weight one yields,
Each misstep stones upon the road,
Yet still we bear the aching load.)
Be well, loves. Sending all me good thoughts. Always here.
