The autumn dusk draped the kitchen in a honeygold glow. Emma leaned by the window, stirring her tea with a slender silver spoon, her thoughts swirling around the cup like the little metal stirrer. Something had felt off for weeksan uneasy sixth sense, perhaps. James had been staying late at the office more often, speaking in clipped sentences and avoiding eye contact. Yesterday hed left for an urgent work trip and didnt come home at all.
The gentle buzz of her mobile broke the silence. The screen flashed Sarah her best friend of twenty years, a mate shed met back at the teachertraining college.
Emma, we need to see each other, Sarahs voice came out unusually grave. Its urgent. Can I pop over?
Sure, Emma said, surprised by the urgency. James isnt home, so well have the place to ourselves.
A beat later, Sarah whispered, Thats exactly why I called.
Emma shrugged it off. She and Sarah had always swapped everything: work woes, disappointments, triumphs. It was Sarah whod introduced her to James at a graduation party fifteen years ago. Fifteen years of marriagenothing perfect, but mostly happy, or so Emma thought.
When Sarah knocked, Emma had already set the table. Freshly baked cheese scones, Sarahs favourite, filled the air with vanilla and warmth.
Sarah looked pale, with dark circles under her eyes, makeup doing its best to hide the fatigue. She fidgeted like a cat on a hot tin roof.
Whats happened? Emma asked, pulling Sarah into a hug and guiding her to the kitchen. You look like youve seen a ghost. Work trouble?
Sarah sat down but didnt touch the tea, twisting a napkin instead.
Emma, I dont know how to say this I have to tell you something.
Emma turned, smiling reassuringly. You know you can tell me anything.
Sarahs gaze rose, a silent blend of fear and guilt.
Im sorry, but Im pregnant. By your husband, she blurted, then covered her face with her hands.
Time seemed to hiccup. Emma stared, stunned, as if the universe had slipped on a banana peel. It couldnt be a prank, a nightmare, a mistake. Yet the strange distance James had shown lately, his endless overtime, the tension between themall of it clicked into a disquieting picture.
What? Emma managed.
I know its horrible, Sarah sobbed, tears glistening. I never meant to hurt you. It just happened. At the June office party, remember? You were home sick with the flu.
Emma recalled that night. James had come home early, smelling of pricey whisky, laughing about a ridiculous karaoke contest where the boss had poured champagne on the table. Shed smiled, relieved he seemed happy.
And that was a oneoff? Emma asked, voice sounding like it belonged to someone else.
No. We met a few more times. I know its unforgivable. I betrayed your trust, your friendship.
What about James? Does he know?
Yes. I told him last week. Hes lost. He says he loves you, doesnt want to break the family, but he cant just abandon the child.
Emma rose and padded to the window. Outside, an old oak rustled its golden leaves. Shed stared at that tree countless evenings while cooking, dreaming of a future with children that never materialised. Tears had been shed, scans taken, hopes dimmed. Now her husband would be a father to her best friends baby.
Why tell me this? Emma asked without turning. What are you hoping Ill say?
I dont know, Sarah whispered. Maybe Im looking for forgiveness, even if I dont deserve it. Or maybe I just want you to hear it from me, not the tabloids. Im ready to disappear, to vanish from your lives. If you can forgive James, I promise Ill never
No, dont, Emma cut in. Dont make promises you cant keep. Hell have a child with you, whether you like it or not. Youre linked forever, whether you want it or not.
She looked at Sarahso familiar, yet suddenly a stranger. Theyd shared secrets, latenight talks, everything. Emma had always thought she knew Sarah as well as herself.
I need time to think, Emma said. Please, just go.
Sarah rose shakily, took a step toward Emma. Emma, I
Just go, Emma said, voice flat.
When the door shut, Emma sank to the kitchen floor and wept. Everything shed trusted, loved, and believed crumbled into a lie. Fifteen years with James, a friendship shed treated like a siblingboth had stabbed her in the back.
James trudged home late. Emma sat in the dim living room, the lights off. He flicked the switch, stopping short at the doorway, eyes widening at the sight of her.
Emma? Whats wrong? Why are you sitting in the dark?
She looked at himstill the man shed woken up next to for a decade, his face familiar in every line. Yet now she saw a stranger.
Sarah stopped by, Emma said simply.
Jamess face went pale, his briefcase slipping from his hand.
What did she say?
Shes pregnant. With you. She says youve been seeing each other for months.
He shuffled to a chair opposite her, sighing heavily.
Emma, I dont know what to say. Im guilty, thats true. But its not exactly what you think.
What should I think, James? That a friendly drink turned into a baby?
No, love, he ran a hand over his face. We both overindulged at that party. We tried to forget it, but we met again and it happened again.
How long?
About three months. No excuse exists, but you should knowI never planned to leave you. It was a weakness, foolishness, nothing more.
And now? Emma asked, voice eerily steady. Now well have a child. The one weve dreamed about for years, but never could have.
James winced. I know how painful this is. All those years we tried, all those hopes
Dont mention our hopes, Emma snapped. Dont ever talk about them again. Youve smashed them.
What do you want me to do? James asked, low.
What do you want to do yourself?
James stood, pacing. I dont know, Emma. I love you, Im your husband, weve been together forever But this child I cant just pretend he doesnt exist.
Exactly, Emma nodded. Hes yours. Your blood.
But Im not in love with Sarah. What we did was a mistake, a lapse.
Does she love you?
James hesitated. I dont know. We never talked about it.
Did you ever talk about anything? Emma retorted, a bitter smile tugging at her lips. Or just met for you know what?
Please, Emma, James pleaded, reaching for her hand. We can try to fix this. I know itll be a nightmare, maybe impossible, but
But what? That Ill forget theres a child growing inside someone else? That every glance at Sarah will be a reminder of betrayal? You really think we can just turn a page?
James bowed his head. I dont know. Im willing to try if youll give me a chance.
I need to think. And you too. Im staying with my sister tonight. Well talk tomorrow.
Dont run, James said, following her. Lets sort this now.
Whats there to sort? You made your choice when you ended up in bed with my best friend. Live with the consequences.
Emma fled to her sisters flat, where Irene welcomed her with a warm hug and a single phrase: Stay as long as you need.
That night Emma stared at the ceiling, replaying memories of the early, blissful years with James, the endless doctor visits when pregnancy never came, the hopeful plans that now lay in tatters.
The next morning Sarah called, voice cracked.
Emma, I need to talk again. One more time. I have to explain.
Whats left to explain, Sarah? Emma replied, weary. Its all clear.
It isnt, Sarah pleaded. Give me a chance. Meet me at our usual café at one.
The café, Emma thought of the tiny coffee shop on the corner of the park, their Friday ritual for years. So many secrets, laughter, tears had been swapped over those tables. Now another confession awaited.
Emma knew she should refuse, yet something in Sarahs desperation made her accept.
The shop was almost empty. Sarah sat at their favourite window seat, a untouched espresso before her. She sprang up when Emma arrived, then sank back, unsure how to sit.
Thanks for coming, Sarah whispered.
Im listening, Emma said coolly. What do you want to explain?
Sarah inhaled deeply. I know I dont deserve your attention, let alone forgiveness. But I have to tell you the truth. I chased James. I seduced him, I wanted his notice.
Emma snorted. And you think that changes anything? Hes an adult, he makes his own choices.
Exactly, Sarah said quickly. Im not trying to absolve him. I just want you to know the full story. I was jealous, Emma. You had everythingloving husband, a cosy home, a good job. Im divorced, living alone, men barely stick around. It ate at me.
So you decided to ruin my happiness? Emma asked.
No! I didnt plan any of this. At that party when you didnt show up, he was upset, drank too much. I comforted him, told him you still loved him, that everything would be fine. Then the thing happened.
Emma recalled that trivial argument that had kept her from the party. She hadnt been ill; she simply didnt want to go.
And then you kept meeting? Emma prompted.
Yes, Sarah lowered her eyes. He wanted to stop straight away, kept saying he loved you, that it was a mistake. But I kept calling, texting, finding excuses to see him. I knew his weak spots, used them.
Why are you telling me all this?
Because James loves you, always has. Even while we were together, he spoke about you, about the proposal, about your future. I was just a standin, a placeholder. I know its stupid, but I needed to own up.
Emma fell silent, trying to digest. Was Jamess betrayal merely a lapse, or something deeper? Was Sarah trying to wring sympathy?
What about the baby? Emma finally asked. Was that part of your plan?
No, Sarah shook her head. It was accidental. I didnt plan a pregnancy, but when I found out I was 43, I thought maybe it was my last chance to be a mother.
Emmas throat tightened; the words hit a familiar nerveher own worries about time slipping away.
I dont expect you to understand or forgive me, Sarah continued. I know Ive shattered our friendship. But if you can forgive James hes not the villain here. He loves you, Emma. Hes always loved you, only you.
What about the child? Emma asked. If James and I stay together, the baby will still be part of our lives, wont it?
I get that, Sarah said. I wont interfere, wont demand any more than the law gives me. If you dont want to see me, Ill move to another city, find work elsewhere.
Emma stared at the woman whod been her confidante for two decades, now carrying Jamess child. Anger, pain, betrayal all tangled inside her.
I need time, Emma said, standing. I cant decide now.
Of course, Sarah replied quickly. Just dont blame James too harshly. Blame me.
Emma left the café with a heavy heart, wandering through the park, oblivious to the golden leaves and the crisp autumn sky. Fragments of conversations, memories, doubts swirled in her mind.
What now? Could she ever forgive James? Live with a child who wasnt hers but his? Let the wound heal and start anew?
She didnt know. Yet somewhere deep down a tiny hope flickeredthat even the darkest night can give way to dawn, that true love might survive the toughest test.
That evening Emma returned home. James waited in the halflit lounge, just as shed expected. They talked at lengthabout the past, the future, the hurt, the trust theyd have to rebuild, the baby that would soon arrive, whatever decisions they made.
By morning Emma realised she wasnt ready to erase fifteen years of shared life because of one terrible mistake. The road to forgiveness would be long and rocky, but theyd try to walk it together.
A week later Emma phoned Sarah. We need to talk about the futureabout the three of us.
A pause, then Sarahs soft voice: Thank you, Emma. Thank you for not writing me off completely.
I cant promise well ever be the same, Emma admitted. But that child will need a mother and a father. Ill try to find the strength to accept that.
She hung up, walked to the window, and watched the golden leaves whirl in an autumn waltz. The season of letting go, of preparing for the long winter ahead. Yet after every winter comes spring, and perhaps their lives will blossom anewdifferent, perhaps deeper, but still alive.
Only time will tell. For now, day by day, step by step, with a quiet belief that even the deepest scar will one day turn into a faint reminder, not a barrier, to the future.
