Tommy knew he was in for itnot from the local troublemaker Gaz, but from his own mum.
He whistled as he walked home, but his stomach twisted. He was gonna cop it now, no doubt about it.
Auntie Sue, his mums best mate, had spotted him with a cig in his gob. He couldve lied, said someone just handed it to him, but nahshed seen him puffing away. What was he gonna tell his mum? That someone shoved it in his mouth and told him to take a drag?
Tommy pretended he hadnt seen Auntie Sue, and luckily, she didnt yell or clout himjust gave him a long look and carried on. But he wasnt daft. He knew shed already ratted him out, and now Mum was waiting with the slipper. Hed circled the block three times when he spotted Nan.
Oh no. Heavy artillery. This was a dirty move. Now Nan would startwaterworks, the whole «I taught hundreds of kids in my time, but my own grandson?» speech. How ashamed she was. How Grandad was rolling in his grave, and all their ancestors with him.
Tommy used to dread this as a kid. Hed imagine the ground swelling as the dead tossed and turned. Then one day, he cracked. The next time Nan went off about ancestors, he shrugged. «Good. At least they wont get bedsores like Jakes nan.»
Nan clutched her chest. Mum doubled over laughing, forgetting to wallop himwhich earned her a smack with a tea towel from Nan.
Now, Tommy watched Nan hurry toward him.
«Whatre you doing out here? Why arent you home?» Nans eyes darted like *she* was the one caught smoking. «Fallen out with your mum?»
«N-no I aint even been home yet.»
«What dyou mean? Whereve you been all this time?»
«School, then footie practice, then just walkin.»
«A likely story.» Here it comes, Tommy thought. Shed make him breathe on her, then grill him. «Whats this, then? Your hands are red! Where are your gloves?»
«Forgot em at home, Nan.»
«At *home*? And your mum didnt check? Whats going on? Show me your ankles.»
She yanked up his trouser leg and gasped.
«Whats *this*?»
«W-what, Nan?» Tommy panicked.
«Your ankles are red! Where are your thermals? And your scarf?»
Tommy burned with shame. Then he spotted Gaz watching from the alley, his stupid red baseball cap poking out. Oh, *brilliant*. Thanks, Nan. What was wrong with her? Early dementia or something? Shed always been sharp.
«Nan whats five times five?»
«Twenty-five,» she said, confused.
«Whats the square of the hypotenuse?»
«Sum of the squares on the other two sides Tommy? Did you not do your homework? She didnt even check? I wont stand for this. Look at the state of you!»
Waitwas Nan on *his* side? Maybe hed dodge Mums lecture. Had he slipped into some parallel universe? Was Nan even his real nan?
«Nan, which sides my appendix scar on?»
«Right. What scar? Youve never had your appendix out.»
Okay, still Nan.
She dragged him home, huffing and puffing. Mum was in the kitchen, smelling of roast dinner, dressed up nicecurls in her hair, new earrings, even heels. What was going on?
«Tommy love!» Mum hugged him tight. «Wash up, dinners nearly ready. Mum, you staying?»
«Whys this boy roaming the streets? Doesnt wanna come home, does he? Youve done it nowtrading your own child for Where are his gloves? Where are his thermals? Its freezing! But no, you dont care»
«Mum, *stop*. Are you eating with us or not?»
«No! Im done here. And you know what?» She turned to Tommy. «Pack your things, love. Youre coming with me.»
«What? No, Nan!»
«Youll live with me now.»
Tommy imagined Nan nagging him nonstopno thanks.
«*No*,» Mum cut in. «Tommy stays here, in his home, with his family.»
«Wheres *his* home? You threw it all away! Tommy, get your things!»
«Mum, if you dont stop, IllIll have to»
«What? Kick your own mother out?»
«Yes!»
«You ungratefulafter all Ive done! And you just»
Mum didnt let her finish. She grabbed Nans arm, hauled her onto the landing, and slammed the door. Nan shrieked about calling the police, demanding Tommy back, screaming about some jailbird.
Mum yanked Tommy into the lounge, where some bloke sat stiffly, eyeing him.
«Tom no lies. This is your dad.»
Nan wailed outside. Mum stood frozen. The man stoodtall, wiry, with Tommys eyes. He held out a shaky hand.
«Hello son.»
Tommy recoiled.
«Butyou said he died!»
«Annie» The man looked at Mum, heartbroken.
«Not me. *Her*. She said itd be easier if you thought»
Banging at the door.
«Police! Open up!»
«Annie, maybe I should go.»
«No. No more hiding. Tom, well explain, justdont be scared.»
Mum opened the door. Nan stormed in, wild-haired, followed by a baffled constable and nosy neighbours.
«Whats going on? Weve had reports of a disturbance»
«Nothing. Just family dinner. My husbands back from working up north. Our son.»
«But your mother»
«Hes a convict! Arrest him! Tommy, come heredid he hurt you?»
«Mum, *enough*.»
«ID, sir?» the constable asked.
«Course.»
«Any convictions?»
«No. Been up north for years, left right after school»
«Sorry to bother you.»
«Arrest him! He ruined my daughters lifeshe couldve had anyone!»
«Mum, *shut up*!»
Mum shut the door.
A dad? Hed lived eleven years without one. He had Mum, Nan and now a living dad. But Nan said he was deadsome drunk thief killed in a brawl. Shed whispered it like a shameful secret.
Turns out, theyd all lied.
Mum and Dad explainedhow theyd met, how Nan never approved. Dad went north for work, Mum stayed with Tommy. Then Nan wrote to Dad, pretending Mum had remarried, begging him to stay away.
Dad sent a furious reply, then moved in with another woman. Mum filed for divorce.
Three years ago, they started writing again. Dad lived alonehe couldnt lie to that woman, said he still loved Mum.
«Why?» Tommy asked Nan. «Why?»
«I wanted her happy. *You* happy.»
«What about *him*?»
«Forgive me please.»
On Tommys birthday, he invited his best mate Gaz. Gaz gave him a Kurt Cobain poster, and MumMum let him put it up.
Not Gaz. The poster.
*Come as you are*
Tommy forgave them allNan, his parents.
«Grown-up stuff,» Gaz had said.
And when Nan found out Gaz lived alone, she took him under her wingfed him pies, stews, suddenly he was acing maths.
Tommy and Gaz stayed mates for life, like brothers.
At their summer barbecues, theyd strum guitars, singing *Come as you are* and eat baked beans on toast like it was gourmet.
Tommy loved his dad now, and his dad loved him. He had half-siblings tooall got on. But with Tommy?
That was special.
