«Youll Remember Me When Youre Alone»
«Oh, come on, Mum, is it really so hard to dish out an extra bowl of soup for me and your grandson? I dont get it!»
«Yes, Emma. It is. A lots changed since you left,» replied Olivia, not even letting her daughter step over the threshold. «Remind mewasnt it you who kicked me out of your life? So why are you making demands now?»
Emma rolled her eyes like a petulant child being scolded for bad mannerswhich, frankly, she still was. «Everyone owes me» wasnt exactly a mature worldview.
«Mum, seriously? I was pregnant back then! Hormones, stress… I dont even remember half of what I said!»
«Oh, I remember. Every word. That you hated me, that I had no heart, that I wanted your baby gone… and thats the polite version. If Im so awful, why come crawling back now?»
«For goodness sake, Mum! Youre the adult hereyou shouldve understood and met me halfway. Youve been pregnant; you know how mood swings work!»
Even now, Emma made it sound like Olivia was the one at fault. As if she shouldve just smiled, nodded, and danced attendance. But Olivia was done.
«Oh, I understood you perfectly,» she said slowly, crossing her arms. «But I didnt forgive. Look, Emma, I can give you some money. A little. But I wont let you back in.»
She wasnt just talking about the house. Olivia couldnt let Emma back into her life because she knew how it would godemands, guilt-trips, and eventually, everything Olivia had rebuilt would crumble.
«A little? How much?»
«Two thousand quid. Enough to get you on your feet.»
«That wont even cover a months rent! Fine for meIm an adult, I can tighten my belt. But how can you do this to your own grandson?» Emma launched another attack.
Olivia wasnt playing.
«People in need take what theyre given. If its not enough for you, figure it out yourself.»
With that, she shut the door.
«Fine! I will! But remember thismen come and go, but its your kids wholl bring you that glass of water when youre old. And you wont get yours. Youll remember me when youre alone,» Emma spat through the door before stomping off.
Olivia leaned against the hallway wall, biting her lip to keep from crying. It hurt like hell, but the rift between them had been there for years. Really, it was inevitable.
…Emma had always been spoiled. Gran and Grandad doted on her, and her dad, Daniel? He was the worst of all. Didnt like a dress? Off to the shops for a new one. Smashed her phone in a tantrum? No problem, heres a better one. Wanted a dog? «Of course, darling, pick any breed!»
No surprise Emma was Daddys girl. If Mum said no, Dad said yes.
Olivia and Daniel had fought about it endlessly. He was a loving husband and father, but when it came to discipline, he was hopeless.
«Dan, why did you give her money for the cinema? We agreed she wasnt going!» Olivia had fumed. «Its not about the money. I asked her to help your mum with the garden, and she said, If you two care so much, you do it.»
Dan would wincehe knew Emma pushed it too far sometimes. But hed just wave it off.
«Come on, love. Remember what we were like at her age. Let me spoil her while I can. Shell fly the nest soon enough.»
Turns out, he was half-right.
Dan passed away when Emma was fourteen, and after that, things went from bad to worse. Emma had always been difficult, but now everything was Olivias fault. Caught a cold? «You brought it home from work.» Broke up with a boyfriend? «Because you wouldnt let me go clubbing.» Failed an exam? «You never got me a tutor like everyone else.»
Olivias friend had once sighed, «Why bother with uni? No offence, but Emmas not exactly academia material. What if she drops out in third year? Itll be such a waste.»
«She wants it, so fine. Its not just for herits for Dan. Hed never forgive me if I sent her out into the world with nothing.»
Olivia took on two jobs to support them. Colleagues called her a saint, but really, she was just terrified of being left with no one. Emma was all she had.
In her second year, Emma announced she was moving in with a «friend»parents were renting her a flat, and it was too boring alone. Olivia objected, but what could she do? Emma was an adult now.
Turns out, the «friend» was named Liam. A year later, Emma was pregnant.
«Mum, guess what? Were having a baby!» shed gushed.
Olivia felt the air leave her lungs.
«Emma… neither of you has a job. Where will you live? How will you afford it?»
«Oh, between benefits, Liams parents, and you… and Liam will find some work. Itll sort itself out,» Emma said breezily.
Olivia didnt like her place in that equation. Shed hoped helping Emma through uni would be the end of it. Now she saw thered be no end.
«By the way, Mum… tuitions due soon. Can you cover it?»
«Tuition? Youll be pushing a pram to lectures? Either take a gap year or sort out the baby. This isnt the time.»
Then came the explosion. Emma claimed half of Dans savings were rightfully hers, accused Olivia of wanting to abandon her grandchild, and finally called her a monster before slamming the door in her face.
Olivia thought Emma would calm down. She didnt. The next day, Olivia found herself blocked everywhere. She knew Emmas address, couldve gone over, but enough was enough. No more begging.
At the time, it felt like losing her purpose in life. But nature abhors a vacuum.
After Emma left, Olivia started living for herself. She joined a gym, where she met James. He helped her with the weights, then offered her a lift home. One thing led to another, and soon they were married.
James was ten years older, a widower with a grown son, Thomas, his wife Sophie, and their little boy, Charlie. Olivia wasnt just gaining a husbandshe was gaining a family. And they welcomed her, especially Sophie, who treated her more like an older sister than a mother-in-law.
Charlie was the cherry on top. Olivia spoiled him rottenbaking treats, taking him to the park, feeding ducks by the river. At first, Sophie only dropped him off in emergencies, but soon it became a regular thing because Charlie kept asking.
«Nana, can we feed the pigeons today?» hed once asked, and Olivias heart melted. Shed forgotten what pure, uncomplicated love felt like.
Life had colour again. Then, two years later, Emma reappeared.
Liam had decided fatherhood wasnt for him. Hed graduated, struggled to hold down a job, and after one too many rows, packed his bags and moved back with his parents.
But the baby remained. And Emma needed somewhere to live.
Only now, Olivia decided it wasnt her problem. Especially when Emma returned not with apologies, but fresh demands of «Youre my motheryou have to.»
«Youll remember me when youre alone» echoed in Olivias mind. Yes, it hurt. Like tearing out a piece of her heart. But shed survived it once; shed survive it again.
Her phone chimedJames, asking what to pick up for dinner, suggesting a cosy night in. Another message from Sophie: a photo of three lopsided gingerbread men.
«Charlie made these at nursery. One for me, one for Dad, and the third, he says, is for you. Can we pop over tonight?»
Olivia smiled. Warmth spread through her. Which to choosea quiet evening with James or a house full of laughter?
Didnt matter. She loved both. What mattered was this: once, shed been so afraid of being alone, shed put up with anything to feel needed. Now she knewbeing needed isnt the same as being loved.
No, she wasnt alone. And she never would be again.
