Emily was left on her own far too early. Her father had passed away years before, and she lost her mother while she was still in her final year at university. It was a tough spot the dissertation deadline loomed, and grief knocked on the door at the worst possible moment. Fortunately, the Hart family, Jamess parents, stepped in as the only close relatives she had left.
Emily and James had been studying together since their second year and started dating in the third. The Harts Margaret and Thomas treated her kindly, with a warmth that made her feel genuinely welcome. They all hoped that once her studies were wrapped up, the young couple would tie the knot.
The wedding was modest, and Blythe as Emilys nickname had become was heartbroken that her mother hadnt lived to see the day. She also remembered her mothers parting words: Before you walk down the aisle, darling, make sure you get a proper health check.
Emily knew exactly what her mum meant. As a child shed suffered a serious injury after slipping off an icy hill, and doctors had feared lasting damage to her future womens health. They kept a cautious eye on her, but no one could give a definite answer.
It wasnt comforting. Before the wedding she underwent the checkup her mother had urged, and although her overall recovery seemed fine, the question of whether she could ever have a child lingered.
First, Blythe spoke to her future motherinlaw, who thought it over and said:
If theres even a sliver of a chance, dont lose heart before the time comes. Ill speak with James myself.
After the bachelor party, James showed up at her flat a little tipsy and visibly upset.
I really want children, Blythe, you know? What if we cant? Does that make us a family?
She burst into tears and told him the decision was his, but they could at least try. The doctors gave her a glimmer of hope, and James was the only man shed ever loved.
The first year of marriage brought no baby news. Margaret, who adored her daughterinlaw, worried just as much as Blythe did. Together, James and his dad pulled out all the stops to keep the family intact and sent Blythe to Bath for a specialist programme called Womens Wellness Shield. It boasted impressive results and was supposed to boost her chances.
Unfortunately, even that didnt help. Two years on, hope dwindled. Blythe fell into despair, and while James did what he could to support her, tension crept into the household. James didnt blame Blythe, but he couldnt quite accept a childless life either. Emily suggested adoption:
Lets foster a little one and raise them as our own.
James balked.
A child that isnt mine will never be my son, and Im not sure I could love him the way a father should. Please understand, Blythe, I just cant.
Strangely enough, his parents backed his stance. They knew how much James longed for a child of his own and felt it would be cruel to bring a kid into a home where hed be unloved.
Emily herself broached the subject of divorce, even though she still loved James. She didnt want to make his life miserable.
Lets part ways, James. Youre still young; youll find another wife and have children.
James hesitated, but when a new, lively colleague named Olivia joined their firm, his mind drifted to a different future. The conversation with Emily was painful for him; he felt he was betraying her, abandoning her to fate. She replied gently:
We each have our own destiny, James. You deserve a better lot. Dont blame yourself.
That very evening James packed his things and left her house. The Harts paid a visit:
Blythe, were sorry we couldnt steer James better. Remember he stayed over a couple of times, halfdrunk and upset? We feared hed drown his sorrows. Its a mess for both of you.
They shared tea, poured out their hearts, promised never to turn away, and assured her shed always be like a daughter to them. Blythe thanked them, then sobbed through the night.
Their split was swift; they divided no assets. Blythe remained in the family flat theyd once shared, while James soon remarried. She didnt stay single for long. Goodnatured and bright, she met Paul, a man who tried his utmost to look after her. The only hitch? Blythe didnt love him.
Her exhusband still haunted her dreams, never looking truly happy. His eyes were sad, his hands tender yet out of reach. She fought the thoughts of James, yearning to change her life.
One bitter winter night Blythe fell ill. Shed been at Pauls, cooked dinner, tidied up, and then felt faint. By bedtime her temperature spiked. Paul called an ambulance and kept her on his couch. The next morning he was grim, tended to her silently, and when she finally recovered, he confessed:
I barely left your side that night. You were mumbling his name, clutching my hand, calling him Jimmie and begging me not to go. Do you still love him?
Blythe didnt try to sugarcoat the truth:
Yes. I love him. I suppose Im a monogamist. Its hard, Paul. I cant build a relationship without love.
She walked out of his life for good. He didnt protest. Not long after, Emily learned that James had finally welcomed a longawaited son. That news struck her like a brick. Grief settled deep, feeling as if a part of her had been ripped away forever.
She spent three foggy years drifting. Occasionally the Harts kept their promise and visited, offering moral support. She bore them no ill will, nor did she hold a grudge against James.
One day she spotted James with his son in a park but didnt approach; he didnt see her. Tears fell again, the old love and the sting of fate still fresh. Gradually, though, she began to pull herself together. The biggest comfort was that James seemed happy. His parents said his wife was caring, though he treated them with a cool distance. They adored his son Eddie and urged her not to stay angry.
I dont hold a grudge, she replied. He never deceived me; he loved in his own way. I was the one who pushed for the divorce.
On her birthday James called, just as a friendly mate would, wishing her well and asking how life was treating her. She thought perhaps his parents had nudged him, but the call threw her off balance again. Better not to talk at all, she decided.
A year later tragedy struck again: Olivia fell ill. Margaret called her, saying there was no hope left, weeping for her son and grandson. Emily felt helpless, worrying for them.
She went to the cemetery, standing at the back of the crowd for reasons she couldnt fully explain. A former motherinlaw hugged her shoulder and whispered:
Thank you, dear. Theres no malice in you, no glee at anyones misfortune.
James never noticed her then. He called months later, brief as ever, asking if he could drop by. Blythe, though wary, let him in he must have been struggling.
Hed changed: slower, a touch older than his years. Grief does not make a man prettier. They sat at a set table, chatting about life.
Why dont you marry again? he asked.
She answered simply:
I love you, and I need no one else.
James wept, a sight both odd and moving; shed never seen him cry before.
Lets go to the Harts; I need to fetch Eddie. Then we can take a walk, if youre up for it.
Eddie was a sweet, shy lad understandable, given hed lost his mother so young. Emily kept a respectful distance, watching him peek at her with curiosity.
Their meetings turned into a regular thing, almost every weekend, without any strings attached just two people filling the gaps of loneliness.
Then Margaret called, saying James was thinking of asking Blythe to come back, though he hadnt decided yet. Hed been miserable for a year, and the boy suffered too. Emily rang James straight away and said shed agree. No one else mattered. They moved in together again. It was tough; James remained cold and reticent, and she had to learn to love a child that wasnt hers.
When, on another birthday, little Eddie presented her with a drawing of the three of them under a sunny sky, his tiny hand scrawling Mum above, her eyes filled with tears. She lifted the boy into her arms and said:
Your real mum watches over you from above and is proud of the wonderful boy youre becoming. I love you too. Youre my son now.
They live peacefully. James thawed, accepted her love, and returned to his old, caring self. Emily finally found the happiness she had chased for years on her own.
She never was a devout believer, but she sometimes slips into a church, lights a candle for the woman who left this world yet gave her a cherished son and a loving husband.
