One afternoon a mate of mine, looking all proper, went, Emma, youre not that age any more now.
I didnt even get what she meant straight away. Sorry, what does that even mean? I asked.
She answered as if it were the most obvious thing: You know its not the time for flashy dresses, loud laughter, dancing, singing and all that fun you used to have. Now youve got to be more modest, calmer, grownup.
I just kept quiet. Not because I was offended I was just amazed at how easily people set rules where none exist. Then I smiled, looked deep inside and said, Honestly, Ive never read a book that tells you exactly when you have to stop being yourself.
Because, lets face it, who decides when a woman is no longer allowed to laugh until she cries? Who decides the age at which you cant wear a bright red lipstick or belt out your favourite song at the top of your lungs? We dont stop being who we are just because the calendar adds another year.
Sure, Ive got a fair few years behind me years packed with pain, lessons and huge bits of happiness. Ive seen the highs and the lows, the losses and fresh starts. And now Im different not older, but calmer, deeper, wiser. Ive learned to love quiet, to listen to my own heart and to understand that real youth isnt in your passport or your birth certificate; it lives in your eyes, in the ability to rejoice over tiny things and to be constantly amazed by the world.
I no longer feel the need to prove my worth to anyone. Im not trying to look younger; I just want to live genuinely. I laugh when something tickles me. I dance when a favourite tune comes on. I dress in what feels right, not in what someone says belongs to a certain age. And, most important, I give myself permission to feel alive.
Because life isnt a stage where you have to play the rightage role. Its a journey, and every day is a gift. Its a shame when people ditch their joy just because some bloke says, Thats not appropriate for you now.
It is appropriate for me.
Its appropriate for me to laugh when my hearts singing.
Its appropriate for me to wear bright dresses even if Im not twenty.
Its appropriate for me to be exactly who I am right now, with no excuses and no fear.
Theres no such thing as the wrong age. Theres only a moment warm, real, alive. And if you feel that light inside, if your heart still wants to laugh and love, then youre living.
Nows my time to live. Properly, without limits, without embarrassment, without a should or a must. No one has the right to decide when a woman stops being herself.
Im just living. And each morning I tell myself, Yep, this is my age. The best one yet.
