«Don’t you think that’s a garden? What are you whispering about?» Emma widened her eyes theatrically. «You yourself said my hands grew from the same place as my legs!»
«It would be better if I had neither!» she snapped. «After I’m gone you’ll have to roll the garden over with asphalt!»
«Alright, love,» huffed Eleanor Whitmore, her voice sour. «No need to get all worked up! With a spade you can manage.»
«I’m flattered by your kind words!» Emma shook her head. «You’ve practically painted me pink!»
«Last time I ask, will you help me in the plot?» Eleanor raised her voice.
«What do you mean, ‘last time’?» Emma exclaimed. «And then what? Do you expect me to go mute?»
«Your tongue has no bone! If you swung a spade the way you swing a tongue, we’d be done!» the mother-in-law retorted. «Come on, to the garden! I’ll show you what needs doing!»
«What? How could I?» Emma recoiled. «You told me last time not to let your eyes see me!»
«Now, for the sake of our son, you put up with me, yet on your sacred plot I won’t let you grind my eyes into callouses!»
«I should be looking after my dear motherinlaw!»
«You’re such a pest!» Eleanor shouted. «I’ll try to survive, I’ll show you what to do and I won’t stand in your way! My eyes will be fine!»
«Is that so? No tricks, I see,» Emma said with a smirk. «You asked for help and now there’s a mess! So you wanted help after all!»
«If my hands are added to yours, I still don’t see you,» Emma continued. «If we were nosetonose on a single row, I might think about it, but to till your entire farm alone, without supervision, without a kind word, I refuse!»
«If I mess up, you’ll eat me alive! And why should I, when there’s no love between us?»
«To avoid making things worse, I’ll sit by the stove while Charlie steams in the sauna.»
«Your tongue keeps hammering on, can’t you stop?» Eleanor snapped. «You’ve been idle long enough! Young, healthy, strong!»
«Thanks for the compliment!» Emma beamed. «My motherinlaw still has plenty of pep!»
She boomed mountains, performed feats! A month ago she shouted at me, and even now my left ear still rings from that scream!
«What a powerful voice! Envy, indeed! Don’t worry! All from the heart!»
«Emma, I’ll tell Charlie you refused to go to the garden, that you turned down my help,» Eleanor threatened. «Do you think he’ll forgive?»
«Where did I refuse?» Emma shouted. «I was ready, just tell me!»
«I’m a perfect helper! I adore my motherinlaw!»
«As you rush to help your motherinlaw, I pay the same price! And I add extra, because I care nothing for my dear motherinlaw! Do you care?»
«What do you care about?» Eleanor asked, confused.
«Last summer you rewarded us with curses instead of harvest,» Emma retorted. «Sure, we lost weight and built muscle, but we needed real food!»
«If memory serves, you felt sorry for our backs and hands, hauling jars on the bus!»
«This time we have a car, a spare boot! We’ll haul the produce if we have to work the plot again.»
«If it’s like last year, just fire us! The desire’s gone!»
«You’re holding grudges!» Eleanor snapped.
«Not a drop of it! I have plenty to do without your garden!»
«My husband disappears without a word, our son longs for his mother, and I’m left to tend the next plot,» Emma said, fixing her gaze on Eleanor. «Answer me! I don’t know what else to say!»
«Youre a mother, you should understand!» Eleanor warned. «Katie needs help! I grew the harvest for her and canned it! She raises two girls alone! And you»
«And what about your Katie and her two daughters? They only come for the harvest. Let them work if they must!»
«I won’t stand in their way, not even step on their toes! All for your pleasure!»
«Oh, Charlie’s chosen, oh, chosen!» Eleanor shook her head. «A curse, perhaps, or worse!»
«You’re still buttering me up with sweet words!» Emma smiled. «Why not call me a snake? It feels more natural.»
«Or perhaps you love me? Then I’ll confess! Maybe you’ll see me off to the guesthouse!»
«Spit!» Eleanor shouted.
«What?» Emma feigned surprise. «Weren’t you the one who told Charlie he’d be a widower to rid himself of me?»
***
Emma married James, not his entire clan. She loved him, respected him, wanted to spend her life with him, to one day babysit their grandchildren. The endless stream of relatives in James’s imagination never existeduntil reality proved otherwise.
It wasn’t a huge brood: a motherinlaw, an older sisterinlaw, an aunt you can’t quite name, and a few cousins with sisters, all clamouring for attention.
This happy crowd celebrated Emma like manna from heaven.
Emma’s parents were welloff. Not rolling in gold as gossipers claimed, but they gifted her a flat for her wedding!
They ran a modest pig farm, earning a steady income. Yet they worked the land so hard that the money seemed to slip through their fingers.
You can move mountains with foreign hands, but money earned without sweat feels light.
That’s why the hands reached for theirs!
If Charlie extended his hands, the marriage would crumble. But Charlie loved Emma, not her parents’ money. He only learned about money at the wedding. The wedding expenses Emma and James covered themselves.
When Charlie finally learned about money, his behaviour didn’t change. He only asked:
«Emma, if we ever need a lot of cash, let’s try to earn it ourselves first. If that fails, we’ll ask for help.»
He was right. Who believes empty words? Charlie proved it. Three years after the wedding, they went to Emma’s parents for a cradle, a pram, a baby tub
Charlie insisted on a written agreement. The notary dismissed the parents; Charlie repaid the loan honestly.
How did Charlie grow up in such mercenary surroundings? Maybe a neighbour helped? Eleanor gave birth out of wedlock, swearing the father was the same as Katies.
That mystery stays with Eleanor. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t ruin Charlie.
When the truth about the parents’ condition surfaced, greedy hands reached for Emma’s cat. Charlie wouldn’t have gone that way. He immediately said:
«Before the wedding I’ll still help! Afterward, my family, my budget! If my wife gives, I’ll spare a penny. If not, Ill stay out.»
Emma saw through the ploy. She didn’t send them to fields, meadows, or swamps, but to her parents’ pig farm.
«Gentlefolk! Work is endless! You’ll be well paid! You can combine it with your main jobs! The pigs eat, and someone still has to clear the endless mess!»
Cousins and aunt declined, though they held a low opinion of Charlie’s wife.
Emma replied, «Excuse me! Ill take the money myself!»
When the sisterinlaw was hinted where she’d be taken, Katie cut off all contact with Emma and Charlie in an instant.
She had enough adventures finding fathers for two angelsno need for pigs.
Eleanor, hearing about her sisters and nephews escapades, decided to act smarter and craftier.
«The girls still young! That’s why she’s cheeky! She just got married! Life will break her too! Shell soon be buried in troubles, leaving no trace of her fees! Then well start squeezing juice from her!»
Eleanor’s patience was endless. She waited for the youths to tire, settle down, have a child, and circle through endless cares, all while keeping a friendly neutrality.
Grandson Andy turned five when Eleanor finally decided to intervene.
She already knew Emma had no access to her parents’ cash, and that pulling Charlie’s strings wouldn’t work.
«Where you can’t get money, you can get it in kind!»
Eleanor lived in a private house on the edge of a village soon to be swallowed by the expanding town. More importantly, she owned a respectable vegetable plot. She planned to harness Emmas strength there.
Emma grew up in a similar hamlet where her parents kept a small pig farm. Though she worked as an accountant in the city, she could swing a spade or mess with a rake.
When Eleanor asked for help, Emma and Charlie answered gladly.
They took two weeks off to plant, then another two weeks to clear. Weekends were spent weeding and hilling.
Who benefited more when Eleanor reaped the harvest?
«You’re both a family, you work, why the fuss? Katie, she raises children aloneshe needs it!»
A direct clash seemed easiest. No shouting, no loud accusationsthough neighbours leaned over fences to catch the rich English repartee.
Emma chose not to inflame the situation.
«Charlie, you can understand her»
«No!» Charlie shouted.
«Im not saying Ill forgive her,» Emma interrupted her husbands outburst, «I can understand her behaviour. Your mother wont change. But staying enemies with someone close feels worse. To avoid repeats, we must not let them ride us.»
«Emma, shell keep pestering you! Im the son, the beloved! Youre the daughterinlaw! The law says I must protect you!»
«Charlie, Im no fool!» Emma laughed. «Believe me, Ill find an answer!»
Emmas reply made Eleanors eyes bulge. The worst part was she didnt insult outright; it felt as if every dung heap had been dragged over her.
Eleanor answered in her own blunt style, spilling everything without shame. Emma turned it around, refusing to be trampled again.
She didnt want to help with cleaning, cooking, canning, or the household, let alone the garden.
Eleanor thought Emma would never visit again. Yet Emma arrived, husband in tow, as was proper. Eleanor assumed Emma had finally cracked. Noanother retort, another excuse, another fury. But Emma said nothing outrightly hurtful.
«The hell you say that!» Eleanor flared. «Would I wish ill on my own son? I try my best to please him!»
«The tongue’s been cut!» Emma shone. «I pour all my energy into pleasing Charlie! What if I tire on your garden? What if I collapse from exhaustion?
How then will I care for Charlie? How will I love him? How will I feed him? How will I give him drink? How will I put him to sleep?
If I neglect my beloved Charlie, he’ll be upset and tell his mother that his wife doesnt love, feed, or look after him!
And youll stay silent? No, of course not! You’ll argue! Why ruin my relationship with my motherinlaw even more! She already doesnt care! So no garden! Ill save my strength for Charlie!»
«Emma» Eleanor stammered.
«Dont persuade me!» Emma declared firmly. «Im needed by my husband! Hell be lost without me! I cant trade myself for your gardens and chores! Only for my own home and for Charlie!»
Eleanor wasnt foolish. She realised Emma had outplayed her on every front. And she couldnt fault herself for standing against her son.
When Eleanor finally lost composure, her curses ran out, and she sobered over a dram of homebrew:
«Charlies a sensible lad, and with such backing I feel at ease!»
That acknowledgement didnt curb her desire to test Emmas mettle. Perhaps shed finally bend!
