EIGHTYYEAROLD ELDRA, her hair the colour of a stormtossed sea, perched on the edge of a hardwood chair in a cramped solicitors office, tapping her toes with restless vigor.
What’s the business? the solicitor asked, his pen poised above a fresh form.
Just a will, Eldra replied, her voice thin but determined.
Very well.
She settled back, smoothing the creases of her coat, and began to dictate.
Upon my death I want my brain donated to the University Medical Research Centre. If the Centre declines, let it be recorded as a contribution from Eldra Potter. All my cats, whatever remain at that time, are to be given to my friends. Should there be no friends left, the cats shall pass to my son, George. Any books that no one wishes to keep are to be donated to the local library I would strongly advise at least a glance through them. Three years ago I misplaced the £200 I had tucked inside one of those volumes. I bequeath my ashes to be scattered on the hill at the top of Dartmoor.
The solicitors throat tightened.
Excuse me?
On Dartmoor, on Dartmoor, Eldra repeated, her eyes glinting.
Thatsquite a distance. Why such a complication?
Complications are like a ninetofive grind and a halfhour lunch break he never gets out of it. Hes forever buried in his paperwork. I was once just like him. Now I regret it. He still has his whole life ahead, and travel brightens a mans soul. It changes a person; hell never be the same. Let him cross half the country. Ill watch him return to his office! No one can drag him back without a push. I want to give him that nudge, show him another way of living. Thats what Ill be doing after Im gone And I dont want to rot in a garden plot. Better to fly to the hills of Devon, she murmured, the solicitors lips tightening around his words.
Next, Eldra continued, I want my beloved cat, Molly, to be cremated with me, as they did in the old days Im only joking! Im just testing you, you see.
Trying to scare me?
Shake you a little, she smiled, the corner of her mouth lifting.
It worked. Now, the estate? Movable? Immovable?
My flat and my motorcycle go to George. I dont own a motorcycle yet, but Ive enrolled in a riding course and will purchase one soon, so note that as well. As for my kickscooter, I leave that to Stanley Nicks, provided hes still breathing. Hes been eyeing it for ages. The last time we rode together he crashed into a hedge and broke it.
When Eldra finally slipped out, the solicitor called a short recess. Her image, blue hair flashing in his mind, refused to fade. He reread the will, his eyes scanning each line to be certain it was all real, then stared at the towering stack of paperwork before reaching for his phone.
Hey, Max, fancy a getaway? Ive always dreamed of a safari in Kenya.
