Do you need me?
Max, please, let me go We tried to build a family, but it fell apart. Why keep hurting each other? Lets just get a divorce?
Not a chance! he grinned, Youre dreaming. Im not letting you off. Youre my wife, Im your husband, were a family. Is life terrible for you? Or have you simply stopped loving me? Is there someone else? Answer when I ask!
—
Poppy perched on the edge of the sofa, absentmindedly tugging at the corner of a blanket. After yet another shouting match with her husband, she felt the urge to evaporate, to vanish from his life for good. She could, of course, file for divorce but she lacked the resolve to actually start the paperwork. Two years of marriage now seemed like a nightmarish sleep, and the last six months had been especially miserable Max had inexplicably transformed into a ruthless household king, inventing fresh grievances every day.
This mornings drama began with something seemingly harmless. Poppy had ordered a new face cream.
Again spending money on nonsense? Maxs voice boomed as she walked in with the parcel.
Poppy tried to explain, but Max wasnt listening.
Do you ever think about us? Or only about yourself, darling? A cream, really? Youd be better off spending it on something useful, like helping my parents.
Max, why jump straight to that? I work, I have my own earnings. I always help your parents, you know that.
What are you doing? Sending them pennies! They need real help, understand? Youre selfish, Poppy. All you do is pour every penny you earn into facial salves and tshirts! His voice hardened, his eyes flashed. Poppy broke down and started sobbing. Max slammed the door shut, leaving her alone with her tears and a crushing sense of helplessness. He always did the same push her to the limit, then walk away
Poppy remembered how it had all begun. Max had seemed perfect attentive, caring, loving. Slowly, something changed. Or perhaps shed never really seen the true Max before?
That evening Max trudged home. Poppy was in the kitchen, sipping tea.
Crying again? he asked without looking up.
No you just hurt me
I hurt you? Youre to blame. Think about what youre doing.
What am I doing wrong? Poppy whispered.
Everything! You dont try. I work, Im exhausted, and you? You spend half the day clicking away on a keyboard, the other half on the couch!
I work too, not less than you, Poppy retorted, then immediately regretted it.
Whats your job? Scraping pennies! Im the one keeping the family afloat. You should be grateful, Poppy. Ive never heard a thankyou in all our years together, even though Ive earned it!
Im grateful, Max but that doesnt give you licence to speak to me like that.
How am I supposed to speak to you? Youre forever dissatisfied. Your habit of shedding endless tears drives me mad! Why do you paint me as the monster?
Max youre constantly unhappy. Im scared to say a word, to buy anything, even to rest during the day. I cant lie down after lunch! If you find out, youll start shouting straight away! My nerves arent steel; I cant control myself any longer
Stop whining! You always play the victim. It makes me sick! The disgust in his tone was so palpable that Poppy felt a physical ache.
I dont get whats happening, she whispered, why are you like this?
Just behave, dont bug me, and everything will be fine.
Poppy looked at him. There was no warmth left in his eyes, only irritation.
Maybe we should talk? she suggested, see a family counsellor?
A counsellor? You need one, youre the one whos cracked, Max snapped, always inventing problems out of thin air.
Those words sealed Poppys decision. Max hurried a bite, flicked on the telly, while she rummaged out an old notebook and began drafting an escape plan. Everything had to be thought through.
—
The next morning Poppy left the house earlier than usual. She popped into a café to sit quietly and sort her thoughts. After ordering a coffee, she opened her notebook and wrote:
Step one: find parttime work. Need more cash than now. Step two: rent a modest flat or a room. Step three: gather my belongings. Step four
Poppy? a familiar voice called. She looked up to see her former classmate, Sophie.
Sophie! What a coincidence!
Its been ages, Sophie beamed. What are you up to? Working here?
No, just stopped by to think, Poppy replied evasively.
You look off. Something wrong? Feeling unwell?
Poppy hadnt heard a supportive word in years. She never complained to her parents didnt want to upset them and Max kept pushing everyone away. Overwhelmed, she broke down.
Sophie, everythings terrible. Max drives me mad, constantly criticises and humiliates me. I cant take it any longer. Im scared he might become violent during our fights.
Sophie listened without interruption.
I want to leave him, Sophie! I really do! But Im terrified. I dont know where to start. How will I survive?
Run, Poppy! I wont let you stay alone. Come stay with me for a while. You know my address, right? And there are free counselling services for women dealing with abusive partners.
I didnt even know about those, Poppy admitted.
Now you do. Most of all, believe in yourself. Youre strong; youll manage.
After work they met again, and the twohour chat left Poppy feeling like a different person.
—
That evening, Max was waiting in the living room, eyes glued to the television.
Whered you go? he asked, not turning.
Out for a walk, Poppy replied.
Youve been out a lot lately. Got a lover?
A chill ran through her.
What are you on about? she snapped.
What? I wouldnt be surprised if you were. Youre quick on your feet.
Enough, Max, Poppy said wearily, I dont want to hear this any more.
What do you want to hear? Compliments? Thats all youll get.
Poppy took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.
Max, we need to talk.
About what? My infidelities?
No, about us. About our marriage.
And what do you want to say?
I want a divorce.
Max stared at her, bewildered.
What did you just say?
I said I want a divorce. I cant keep living like this. Youre always putting me down, criticising me. Im miserable beside you.
Youve lost your mind! Divorce? Who would you be without me? No one! You should be grateful I even let you stay under my roof.
I owe nobody anything. I just want to be happy.
Happy? You think youll be happy without me? Youre wrong. Youre useless. Got it?
Poppy fell silent. She wasnt going to argue any longer; shed made up her mind.
Im leaving tomorrow, she said calmly.
Where will you go? Youre broke! Max shouted.
Thats none of your business. Ill figure it out.
I wont let you live! Ill find you and make you regret ever being born, you wretched thing! I gave you everything, I brought you up, and you
Poppy didnt answer. She turned and headed to the bedroom to pack.
Max spent the night on the sofa. Poppy lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thoughts whirling. She feared the future, feared being alone, feared never finding happiness again. Most of all, she dreaded staying with Max.
At dawn she got up, washed, dressed, and padded into the kitchen. Max was already at the table, nursing a cup of coffee.
Youre not going anywhere, he announced, dont even think about running while Im at work!
Ive already decided, Poppy replied.
I wont allow it!
Enough, Max
You dont understand what Im saying!
Max rose from his seat and stalked toward her. Poppys heart hammered.
Dont come near me, she begged, Max, step back!
He shoved her against the wall. Poppy hit her head and crumpled to the floor. The man who had once been her lover raised his fist. Poppy closed her eyes, bracing for the worst.
—
A police patrol, alerted by the earlymorning shrieks from neighbours, burst in. Officers whisked Poppy to the hospital. Once discharged, she promptly filed for divorce the marriage officially crumbled.
