Determined to surprise her husband, Emily returned from visiting her family three hours earlyonly to burst into tears the moment she stepped inside.
Shed spent three days looking after her mum, spoon-feeding her chicken soup and doling out paracetamol like sweets. The fever had only broken the night before.
*You could stay another day,* her mother had insisted that morning.
*Davids home alone, Mum. Probably starving by now.*
Now, swaying in her train seat, she wished shed listened. David had called every evening, asking after her mother, moaning about the empty fridge. His voice had sounded odddistant, tired.
*Miss you,* hed said last night before bed.
Emily had smiled. Thirty-two years married, and he still missed her. Good man, really.
The woman opposite crunched crisps and flipped a paperback romance. On the cover, a bronzed man clutched a swooning blonde. Emily caught her reflection in the window. Wrinkles, grey roots peeking through. When had she aged so much?
*Off to see the hubby?* the woman asked.
*Home. Just home.*
*Im off to meet my bit on the side,* the woman cackled. *Husband thinks Im at my sisters.*
Emily flushed and turned away. How could someone say that so casually?
Her phone buzzed.
*Hows it going? What times your train?* David.
She checked the clock. Four hours early. She nearly replied honestlythen changed her mind. A surprise! Shed cook his favourite, roast with all the trimmings. Hed be thrilled.
*Tomorrow morning. Miss you too x*
David hearted it instantly.
Fields blurred past. Emily sipped tea from her thermosMums doing, of course, along with the clingfilmed ham sandwiches.
*Youre too thin,* Mum had fretted. *That David of yours not feeding you proper?*
*Mum, Im fifty-seven.*
*So? Youre still my girl.*
Chewing the sandwich, Emily thought of homethe house where shed grown up, now just Mum and the ghost of Dad. Five years gone, and Mum still refused to move in with them.
*Youve your own life,* shed say. *Dont need me underfoot.*
Emily loved caring for people. Always had. First her parents, then David, then the kids. Shed taught Year 4 till Tommy came along, then Sophie. Somehow, she never went back.
*Why work?* David had said. *I earn enough. Keep the home nice.*
So she had. Thirty years of nice. Meals, laundry, PTA meetings. Ironing shirts, darning socks.
Now the kids were goneTommy in Manchester with his own family, Sophie married with a baby. She was a grandma now.
And then what?
The train slowed. Emily gathered her bags, nodded goodbye to Crisp Woman. The bus home took half an hour.
She imagined Davids shock. Thought shed be back tomorrow! Shed pop to Tesco, grab ingredientsbeef, new potatoes, a decent bottle of red. Set the table proper, candles and all.
The checkout girl grinned. *Special occasion?*
*Just my husbands expecting me.*
The bags weighed a ton. She panted her way up the lift, fumbling for keys. Finally, the door swung open.
*David? Surprise!*
Silence. Asleep, probablynearly 10 PM.
She kicked off her shoes. Oddthe lights were on. David never slept with them blazing.
Hanging her coat, she froze.
High heels by the door. Black, shiny. Not hers.
*David?*
A giggle floated from the kitchen. Female. Not Sophies voice.
*Youre hilarious,* the woman purred.
*Emilys not back till tomorrow. Weve time.*
Emilys knees buckled. She clung to the wall.
Creeping closer, she peered through the ajar door.
There he wasrumpled hair, dressing gown. Opposite him, a woman. Blonde. Thirtyish. Wearing Emilys robe.
Two mugs. A half-eaten Victoria sponge. His hand on hers.
*Youre amazing, Jess,* David murmured.
Jess? Who the hell was Jess?
*But your wife you said you loved her.* The woman fluttered her lashes.
*I do. But this is different. With you, I feel alive.*
The room tilted. Thirty-two years. Thirty-two years of trust, of packed lunches and back rubs. And this?
*David.*
They whipped around. David went sheet-white.
*Em? You saidyou said tomorrow*
*Who. Is. This?*
*Jess. From flat 52. The neighbour.*
*Neighbour?* Emily stared at the woman swimming in her robe. *In my dressing gown?*
Jess shot up. *I should go*
*STOP.* Emilys voice couldve shattered glass. *Explain. Now.*
Jess shrank. *We were just talking. David fixed my tap.*
*The tap.* A hysterical laugh bubbled up. *In my robe?*
*Love, calm down,* David begged. *Nothing happened. Jess asked for help, I popped over. Coffee got offered. We chatted*
*Chatted? Holding hands? In my kitchen?*
*I did laundry,* Jess mumbled. *He lent me the robe so I wouldnt catch cold.*
*MY ROBE. MY HOME.* Emilys chest heaved. *WHILE I WAS NURSING MY MUM?*
David reached for her. *Dont shout. The neighbours*
*NEIGHBOURS?* She wrenched away. *You worried about THEM? What about ME?*
His facepanic, guilt. And lies. Three decades together, and she knew every twitch.
*Get out,* she whispered to Jess. *Take the robe off first.*
*Em, shes not dressed*
*SHY NOW?* Emily shoved him. *Not shy drinking my coffee in my house!*
Jess fled, chucking the robe on the chair. The door slammed.
Emily collapsed onto a chair. No tears. Just a black hole where her heart had been.
David babbled excuses. *Just talking! Shes lonely!*
*Talking. For four hours?*
*Its not like with you! With you its bills, the grandkids, your mum. With her its life.*
Emily stood. *And Im not life? Im furniture?*
*Thats not*
*THIRTY YEARS. My career, my youthGONE. And youre chatting with some tart in my robe?*
*Only six months*
*SIX MONTHS?* She grabbed her coat. *Kissing me goodnight, lying to my face!*
*Where are you going?*
*ANYWHERE BUT HERE.*
He chased her. *Stay! Well talk tomorrow!*
She spun on the step. *You want fresh thinking? Ill need a fresh LIFE.*
Rain soaked her instantly. Where to go? Too late for Sophie. Last train to Mums gone.
She called her oldest friend, Maggie.
*Christ, Em. Come over.*
On the night bus, she replayed everything. The early years. The kids. The slow drift. Shed blamed midlife crisis.
Turns out, hed just fallen out of love.
At dawn, David turned up at Maggies, stubbled and pleading. *Its over with Jess. I swear.*
Emily studied him. *David Im fifty-seven. Maybe its time I lived for me.*
*But were family*
*Family respects each other. Not this.*
She suggested separation. Space.
*A break?* He looked wrecked.
*A pause. If you realise you want menot a maid-wife hybridcome back. If not well.*
He left, vowing to fight.
Maggie hugged her. *Good on you.*
*Terrified, Mags.*
*Course you are. But youre free.*
Outside, rain drummed the pavement. For the first time in twenty-four hours, Emily smiled.
Tomorrow, shed job-hunt. Visit Mum. Maybe even book a holiday.
Thirty-two years ended tonight.
And somehowdespite the acheit felt like a beginning.
