Loneliness
A woman named Kate had turned down a marriage proposal from a gentleman, and he declined in turn. She decided it was better to be single than to accept a freeofcharge service for the rest of her life.
What’s the point of being alone, Kate? the man asked. A man shouldnt be solitary, and a woman must always have a husband. Otherwise it feels wrong and nobody will ever look at you. Do you know what loneliness is?
Whats that? Kate replied, annoyed by his cheap jokes and his attempt to force a relationship.
Loneliness is a nightmare! laughed the mother, Mash, who was sitting nearby, not noticing the sudden awkwardness. Its like wanting to give water to someone who doesnt need it. Children are your own, arent they?
Where? Kate asked, stumbling over her words.
In Yorkshire! Mash finally understood that the mother was laughing at her, and the old horse, Henry, shuffled away. You should go get a divorce, Im looking after you. Its hard to be alone, but the soul craves company. Lets get to know each other, okay? Henry is a good man. He wont run off with anyone else
Kate had been living alone for about ten years. Her modest cottage, which she called the Blessing, had been built a decade earlier when she inherited a small plot of land. It had been built once, simply. When Kate learned this, she invited a friend over for a few nights, and then for a few weeks. Though the friend tried to convince her that once is enough and nothing extraordinary ever happens without it, hammering away at his own doubts, Kate remained resolute. A relationship never materialised.
The husband later behaved politely, leaving the former wife and their two children a modest allowance. The children grew up and scattered. Their son settled in Liverpool, while their daughter soon married and moved abroad with her husband. Kate stayed alone in a cramped twobed flat in central Manchester.
Living alone never embarrassed her. She found a modest job, a decent profession, and an income that allowed her to live comfortably, inviting the children and mother Mash over for tea. Though she wasnt especially bright, she always kept herself busy and never felt bored. She read a lot, swam, practised yoga, loved travelling, and occasionally worked parttime as a barmaid. Overall she was satisfied with her life.
Until the day Mash decided to arrange Kates future
Listen to me, Kate. A decent man, not yet seventyone, could be yours in seven years. A spacious house, a good livelihood, plenty of livestock cows, goats, pigs, and chickens, but no cats! Thats healthy food, honest work. Milk, eggs, meat. Youll live a hundred years, dear! And the man is charming, welleducated, and reads a lot Just try it, Kate. Lets get to know each other, alright? Mash begged as Kate tried to keep her composure.
Fine, Mash, Ill meet your friend the barmaid thats all. But honestly, I said nothing, Kate muttered.
Business never changes, as they say, Mash replied. And Mash didnt bother to put the matter away; she quickly organised a meeting with the barmaid.
The barmaid turned out to be nothing special. Sturdy, muscular, tidy, with short nails. She spoke softly but carried herself with confidence. She was a joker, flirting with the mother for weeks, yet her name sounded Russian Ivan, perhaps?
When Kate first met Ivan Katerson, she thought perhaps a good woman needed a gentle soul. Ivan was keen on a partnership, proposing a joint farm. Lets marry, not just for profit, but for love. Come to my place, he urged.
He owned a farm in a remote Yorkshire village, with cows that mooed, pigs that snorted, and chickens that clucked. Two workers, both of Asian descent, tended the land. Ivans sales were modest sometimes meat, sometimes milk. Kate wondered if she might become part of Ivans business as well.
Look, Kate, I have a lot to do. I need a wife to help. The workers are fine, but as they say, if you want something done right, do it yourself. Youll be a wife, and you wont miss any opportunity. Youll need to tend the cows, milk the goats, collect eggs. The house will be empty without a wife! Ill kill the cattle if needed, but a womans touch will improve everything. Lets start tomorrow. The spring is here, the fields are ready. The chickens wait
Kate returned home, thinking. What did she really need? She owned a small shop in the city, a modest profit, a tiny cottage where she planted summer vegetables and occasionally brewed her own cider. She owned her own horse, bought eight years earlier. She wondered why she should bother with a farm, cleaning pig pens, feeding chickens, or milking cows.
She also had to prepare dinner for her husband, send parcels, shop for groceries, and keep the house tidy. The income from her business was decent, though she barely scraped by. She could afford a pension and had some savings.
All this was necessary for a comfortable life, but at what cost? Bending her back in the garden, making jam, and walking two floors up the hill was that really what she wanted? In the evening, she called Mash.
Mash, dont be upset. Im sorry, but Ill refuse Ivans marriage proposal. Maybe some men are lucky to have a hardworking husband, but thats not for me. He never showed me any real affection, Mash. He isnt just looking for a wife; he wants power. Ill stay in my solitude. And if you need water, you can get it yourself; not everyone wants to drink the same thing
Mash sighed for a long time, then wiped away a tear of frustration at the barmaids attitude. But under the weight of her promise, she decided she would no longer pursue a relationship with someone who only wanted to profit.
Kate wrote to Ivan, explaining that she no longer wanted to meet, that she had no desire to change her life, and that his plans no longer suited her. Ivan tried to call her a few days later, but she ignored him. She got up at eight in the morning, made tea, and thought about how she hadnt seen her children in ages; she should visit her son, and maybe arrange a birthday for her daughter. She also needed to buy a new handbag and a warm coat, and call her friend Lenora to set up a meeting.
She realised that everything could be fine without being selfish. Sometimes a little healthy selfinterest is useful. In the end, Kate understood that true happiness comes from choosing the life that feels right for you, not from chasing someone elses expectations.
Loneliness taught her that independence brings strength, and that a wellchosen companion should add, not subtract, from the peace she already holds. The lesson remains clear: cherish your own company, for it is the foundation upon which all good relationships are built.
