Do you still need me?James, please, let me go We tried to build a life together, but it fell apart. Why keep hurting each other? Lets just divorce?
Right now! James grinned, a hint of malice in his smile. Dream on. Im not letting you off. Youre my wife, Im your husband, were a family. Is life too hard for you? Or have you fallen out of love? Got someone else? Answer when I ask!
—
Emily perched on the edge of the sofa, fingers nervously tugging at the corner of the throw. After yet another blowup with James, she wanted to vanish, to disappear from his world forever. She could, of course, file for divorce, but the resolve to start paperwork was missing. Two years of marriage now felt like a nightmarish slog, and the last six months had been a particular nightmareJames had morphed into a ruthless household king, inventing fresh reasons to nitpick every day.
The day started with a harmlesslooking incident. Emily ordered a new face cream online.
Again spending money on nonsense? James barked when she walked in with the parcel.
Emily tried to explain, but James was already on the warpath.
Do you even think about us? Or only about yourself, darling? A cream? You could’ve put that cash towards something usefullike helping my parents.
James, why jump straight to that? I work, I have my own money. I always chip in for your folks, you know that.
What are you doing, sending pennies? They need real help, you know? Youre selfish, Emily. All you do is splash your earnings on skin lotions and ragwear!
His voice grew louder, his eyes flashed. Emilys resolve shattered; tears spilled. James slammed the door, leaving her alone with her sobs and a crushing sense of helplessness. He always did the samepush you to the brink, then walk away.
Emily remembered how it all began. James had seemed perfect: attentive, caring, loving. Over time something changedor perhaps shed never seen the real James at all.
That evening James shuffled back home. Emily sat at the kitchen table, sipping tea.
Crying again? he asked without looking up.
No you just hurt me
I hurt you? Youre the one at fault. Think before you act.
What am I doing wrong? she whispered.
Everything! You never try. I work hard, Im exhausted, and you? You spend half the day on the keyboard, the other half lounging!
I work too, not less than you, Emily snapped, then instantly regretted it.
Whats your job? Pocketchange wages! Im the one keeping the family afloat. You should be grateful, Emily. I never heard a thankyou from you, even though Ive earned it!
I appreciate you, James but that doesnt give you licence to speak to me like that.
How am I supposed to talk to you? Youre always dissatisfied, always crying! Why do you paint me as the monster?
James youre constantly unhappy. Im scared to say a word, buy something, even relax during the day. I cant lie down after lunch! If you find out, youll start shouting straight away! My nerves arent steel; Im losing control
Stop whining! Youre always playing the victim. It makes me sick! His disgust was so palpable Emily felt it in her bones.
I dont get whats happening, she murmured, why are you treating me like this?
Just behave, dont annoy me and everything will be fine.
Emily looked at him. There was no warmth left, only irritation.
Maybe we should talk to someone? she suggested. A family counsellor?
A counsellor? You need one, youre the one whos crazy, James snapped. You conjure problems out of thin air.
Those words sealed Emilys decision. James wolfed down a quick bite and plonked onto the telly, while she fetched her old notebook and began sketching an escape plan. Everything had to be thought through.
—
The next morning Emily left the house earlier than usual. She decided to stop by a coffee shop, sit in silence and sort her thoughts. Over a cup of black coffee she opened her notebook and started listing steps.
Step one: find a parttime job. I need more than the current £600 a month.
Step two: rent a modest flat or a room.
Step three: pack my things. Step four
Emily? a familiar voice called. She looked up to see her former classmate, Sophie, beaming.
Sophie! What a surprise!
Its been ages. What are you up to? Working here?
No, just needed a quiet spot to think, Emily replied evasively.
Something wrong? You look off. Feeling ill?
Emily hadnt heard a supportive word in years. She hadnt told her parents, didnt want to worry them, and James kept pushing everyone away. Overwhelmed, she burst into tears.
Sophie, Im in a terrible spot. James is driving me mad, constantly criticising and humiliating me. I cant take it any longer. Im scared he might lose his temper during our fights.
Sophie listened without interrupting.
I want to leave him, Sophie! I really do, but Im terrified. I dont know where to start. How do I survive after this?
Emily, run! I wont let you fend for yourself. Come stay with me for a while. You know my address, right? And dont be shy about getting help. There are free counselling services for women dealing with abusive partners.
I didnt know about those, Emily admitted.
Now you do. And most importantly, believe in yourself. Youre strong, youll get through this.
After work they met again, and a twohour chat left Emily feeling like a new person.
—
That evening Emily walked back home. James was already waiting, lounging in his armchair, glued to the television.
Whereve you been? he asked without turning.
Out, Emily replied.
Youre out a lot lately. Got a lover?
A chill ran down Emilys spine.
What are you on about? she snapped.
What? I wouldnt be surprised if you were seeing someone. Youre quite the flirt.
James, enough, Emily said, weary. Im done listening to this.
What do you want to hear? Compliments? Youll manage.
Emily inhaled deeply, trying to stay calm.
James, we need to talk.
About what? My infidelities?
No, about us. Our marriage.
And whats that supposed to mean?
I want a divorce.
James stared at her, stunned.
What did you just say?
I said I want a divorce. I cant keep living like this. You constantly belittle and criticize me. Im miserable next to you.
Youve gone mad! Divorce? Who would want you without me? You should be grateful I even let you live under my roof.
I owe you nothing. I just want to be happy.
Happy? You think youll be happy without me? Youre wrong. No one needs you. Understand?
Emily fell silent. She no longer wanted to argue; shed already decided.
Im leaving tomorrow, she said evenly.
Where will you go? Youre broke! James shouted.
Thats none of your business. Ill manage.
I wont let you go! Ill find you and make you regret ever being born! Youre a shameless witch! I gave you everything, I introduced you to society, and you
Emily turned and walked into the bedroom to gather her belongings.
James spent the night on the sofa. In the early hours Emily lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thoughts whirling. Fear of the future, fear of loneliness, fear of never finding happiness. Most of all, fear of staying with James.
At dawn Emily rose, washed up, dressed and headed to the kitchen. James was already at the table, sipping his coffee.
Youre not going anywhere, he said. Dont even think about running while Im at work!
Ive made my decision, Emily replied.
I wont let you!
Enough, James
You dont get what Im saying!
James jumped up, lunged at her. Emily recoiled.
Dont come near me, she pleaded. James, step back!
James shoved her against the wall. Emily hit her head and collapsed onto the floor. The man who had once been her lover raised his fist. Emily closed her eyes, bracing for the worst.
—
Neighbouring residents, startled by the earlymorning shrieks, called the police. Officers arrived, hauled Emily to the hospital, and she was discharged a few days later. Within hours she filed for divorce, sealing the end of a marriage that had crumbled beyond repair.
