«Your family isnt our responsibility,» her husband declared as he packed his suitcase.
«Lillian, did you send them money again?» Edward stood in the bedroom doorway, a bank receipt clenched in his hand, his face tight with displeasure.
«Mum needed medicine, and her pension isnt enough,» Lillian replied softly, her eyes fixed on the iron gliding across her husbands white shirt. Her hands trembled slightly.
«How much longer? Every month its the same story! Medicine, then your sisters repairs, now your nephews tuition!» Edward flung the receipt onto the dresser. «We can barely make ends meet ourselves, and yet you support the whole lot of them!»
Lillian set the iron down and turned to him. Tears welled in her eyes, but she kept her voice steady.
«Ed, shes my mother. She raised me alone after Dad left. Worked two jobs so I could finish university. Cant I help her now?»
«Helping is one thing, but this» He jabbed at the receipt. «This is too much. Five hundred pounds in a month! We couldve spent that on a proper holiday, not just another weekend at your relatives cottage.»
Silently, Lillian hung the shirt on a hanger. Three years of marriage, and the same argument every time. At first, Edward had been kindeven helped her family occasionally. But something had changed.
She remembered last year, when her mother had been hospitalised. The doctors said she needed surgerya six-month wait on the NHS, or ten thousand pounds privately. Lillian had sold the gold jewellery shed saved for before marriage and taken out a loan. Edward only found out later, and the row that followed had been fierce.
«You didnt even ask me!» hed shouted. «Am I not your husband? Does my opinion mean nothing?»
«She could have died,» was all Lillian could say.
«Your family isnt our problem,» hed declared, packing his bag then, too. «If you prefer them over me, go live with them.»
Hed left for his parents house, stayed away a week. When he returned, Lillian had been desperate, certain shed lost him for good. Hed apologised, said he understoodher mother meant everything to herbut made her promise never to spend so much without consulting him.
«Lillian, are you listening?» Edwards voice snapped her back to the present.
«Im listening,» she said. «What do you want from me?»
«I want you to realise: were the family now. Husband and wife. Not you and your mother, your sister, and the whole clan. I have plans too, dreams. A new car, a house in the countrysideyet our money vanishes into thin air.»
Lillian sat on the edge of the bed, folding her hands in her lap. Edward was handsome, successfula manager at a large firm with a good salary. When theyd met, hed seemed like a prince from a storyflowers, fancy dinners, sweet words. Most of all, hed seemed to accept her as she was, family ties and all.
«Remember when we were dating, you said family was sacred?» she asked quietly.
«I did. But I meant our family, not» He waved a hand. «This endless crowd.»
The phone rang. Lillian glanced at the screenher sister, Hannah.
«Hello?» she said cautiously, eyeing Edward.
«Lill, its awful,» Hannahs voice trembled. «Toms had an accident. Hes fine, just shaken, but the cars wrecked. He only just bought it on financenow hes got nothing but debt left.»
«Good Lord,» Lillian paled. «Is he really all right?»
«Bruised, but unharmed. Hes beside himself, doesnt know what to do. Talking about joining the army, says hes cursed.»
«Hannah, dont panic. Well think of something. At least hes safe.»
«Lill could you possibly you know. If you lent him a bit, he could pay off part of the debt, and then»
Lillian felt Edwards gaze boring into her. She turned toward the window.
«Lets talk tomorrow, all right? I cant think straight right now.»
«Of course. Sorry to call so late. Hes just in such a state.»
Lillian hung up and slowly turned back. Edward stood with folded arms, his expression grim.
«Dont even think about it,» he said coldly. «I mean it, Lillian. Dont.»
«Ed, hes my nephew. I held him as a baby when Hannah was working. Hes like a son to me.»
«I dont care. Enough. Im tired of this. Every week, someone in your family has a crisisteeth, roof repairs, school fees. When do we get to live? When do we spend on ourselves?»
Lillian walked to the window. Children played in the courtyard below, their laughter drifting up. Once, she too had been that carefreebefore her mother aged, before Hannahs divorce left her struggling with two young children, before life grew complicated.
«Remember our first visit to Mums?» she asked, not turning. «She spent all day cookingroast beef, salad, pies. You said youd never tasted potatoes like hers.»
«Lillian, dont change the subject.»
«Im not. Im just remembering. She was so happy Id found a good man. Said, Lillian, he looks at you like youre his whole world. Take care of each other. When we left, she gave me a jar of her strawberry jamthe one you lovedand said her door was always open to you.»
«That was years ago,» Edward muttered.
«Three years. Is that so long?»
She turned to face him. He avoided her gaze, studying the wall.
«Ed, whats changed? Why have you become so different?»
«I havent. Ive just realised were being used. Your mother, your sisterthey know you wont say no, and they take advantage.»
«Take advantage?» Her chest tightened. «My mother raised me alone for twenty years. Worked herself to the bone so Id never go without. When I had pneumonia at uni, she took unpaid leave to stay with me in hospital for three weeks. Is that taking advantage?»
«Lillian»
«And Hannah? When her husband left her with two toddlers, who helped her back on her feet? Me. And Mum. We babysat, lent money, kept her from falling apart. Is that exploitation?»
Edward said nothing. Lillian picked up the receipt hed thrown down.
«Five hundred pounds,» she said quietly. «Do you know what it was for? Mum needed an ECGa months wait on the NHS, but her hearts troubling her now. Private carea hundred pounds. Medicineanother two hundred. The rest? Groceries for Hannahher youngest was ill, she took unpaid leave, her wages were cut.»
«Enough,» Edward sighed. «It always comes back to me being the villain. The miser who doesnt understand. Maybe I just want a normal life. Maybe I want us to have something for ourselves.»
«Dont we?»
«No!» His voice rose. «Every weekend at your mothers. Every holiday at your relatives. Half my salary gone each month. When do we live for us?»
Lillian sat back down, hands on her knees. He wasnt wrongthey did spend most of their time with her family. The money did vanish. But how could she turn away from the people whod always been there?
«I cant abandon my mother,» she whispered. «Shes alone, ill, ageing. No one else but Hannah and me.»
«You have a husband. Or you did.»
The words struck like a verdict. Lillian looked up as Edward pulled shirts from the wardrobe, folding them into his suitcase.
«Youre leaving?» she asked.
«Im thinking about it. Seriously. Im tired of feeling like an outsider in my own marriage.»
«Ed, we can find a compromise.»
He paused. «What compromise, Lillian? Helping them every other time? Seeing them only half the weekends? Thats not a solutionits a half-measure. The problem remains.»
«Then what do you suggest?»
«I suggest we live our own lives. Were young, healthy. We could have children, a home, plans. Instead, were bankrolling everyone elses needs.»
«Everyone else?» Her voice wavered. «Theyre my family, Ed. My mother, sister, nephews. Theyre not strangers.»
«They are to me. Your family isnt our problem,» he repeated.
Lillian stood by the window, her heart hollow and aching. She loved her husbandbut she couldnt betray those whod stood by her forever. And he, it seemed, couldnt understand that.
«Mum asked yesterday when were visiting,» she said to the glass. «Says she misses us. She also said shes grateful you dont stop me from helping her. She thinks youre a good man.»
Edward stilled briefly, then resumed packing.
«Good men are rare these days,» Lillian continued. «Mum always said family means standing together. The strong helping the weaknot just living for yourself. Maybe shes wrong. Maybe times have changed.»
«They have,» Edward agreed. «People too.»
He shut the suitcase, lifted it from the bed.
«Where are you going?» she asked.
«To my parents. I need to think. So should you. About us. About what really matters.»
«Ed, wait. Lets talk more. Maybe»
«Whats left to say, Lillian? You wont change. I wont either. Were just different.»
He paused at the door.
«If you decide our marriage comes firstnot the whole tribecall me.»
The door closed. The engine started, then faded down the street. Silence settled.
Lillian picked up her phone. A message from Hannah glowed: *»Lill, any news? Toms still frantic. Maybe well pop by tomorrow?»*
She didnt reply. In the kitchen, she boiled the kettle. Dusk fell outside; the flat felt empty.
She thought of her mother, waiting for a visit. Of Hannah, struggling. Of Tom, afraid hed never succeed. Of Edward, who wanted only to live for himself.
She didnt know what was right. Her heart splitone half pulling toward the family whod always been there, the other toward the man she loved.
The kettle whistled. She made tea, sat at the table. Another message arrivedher mother this time: *»Lillian, love, how are you? Its been ages. I miss you.»*
Lillian dialled.
«Mum, hi. «Hi, sweetheart,» her mother said, her voice warm and gentle.
«Im here,» Lillian said softly. «Ill come tomorrow. And Mum Im bringing Tom with me. Well figure it out, like we always do.»
There was a pause, then a quiet, grateful sigh.
«Thank you, love. Thats all I ever neededto know youre still mine.»
Lillian looked around the quiet flat, Edwards side of the closet already bare, the silence where his voice used to be.
«Im still yours,» she whispered. «I always will be.»
She sat by the window with her tea, watching the streetlights flicker on, one by one, like small promises in the dark.
