**A Mistake**
I left the lecture hall, and there was Philip, rushing toward me with that lookpart worry, part adoration.
Well, howd it go? he asked, breathless.
Aced it! I waved my exam results in front of him. And you?
Brilliant! Never doubted you. He winced slightly. Got a bit tangled up myself. Still, a solid B. Fancy celebrating?
I dropped my gaze, hesitating.
Ah. Let me guessIm out of luck again? Philip sighed.
Sorry. I think Dennis is probably waiting for me.
Right. His disappointment was plain. Cant compete with a future star of science, can I? At least let me walk you to the gatesunless even thats too much to ask? He took my hand, steering me toward the grand staircase.
The cast-iron steps hummed faintly underfoot. I let my fingers trail along the railing, knowing Id miss this placethe old medical college with its lingering scent of formaldehyde and dust, the way even the hottest days felt cool and dim inside.
Philip shoved open the heavy door, and there stood Dennis by the gates, tall and smug, clutching a bouquet. My stomach twisted.
Tell me you love him, Philip murmured, still holding my hand.
He proposed. His grip tightenedtoo tight.
Ow! I yelped.
Sorry. He released me with a bitter laugh. Cant command the heart, can you?
Lily! Dennis called from across the courtyard.
Phil I started.
Go on. Dont keep the fiancé waiting. His voice was rough.
I walked away, feeling his eyes on my back. It wasnt just the college Id missit was him. Always there, always overlooked.
I *told* you not to come, I snapped as Dennis reached for me.
Dont be cross. I was worried. He leaned in for a kiss, but I dodged it, glancing back. Philip was already gone.
Shall we? Mums expecting us for lunch. Wants to discuss the wedding Oh, these are for you. He thrust the flowers at me.
I havent said yes yet, I muttered.
Mums found a lovely venue He prattled on, deaf to me.
Id hoped to talk to Philip after graduation, but he never showed.
Wheres Samuels? I asked his mate, Mike.
Left yesterday. Got his degree earlysome relative offered him work in London. Lucky sod.
I nearly cried. The ceremony felt hollow. I slipped away afterward, furious at Philip. How could he leave without a word? After all his talk of love?
Neither of us called. Pride, I suppose. Two months later, I married Dennis.
Seven years passed.
Hi. Got a minute? I hovered in the doorway of the gynaecology office, wrinkling my nose. Ugh. How do you work here? That chairs a torture device.
Lily! Come in. Olivia grinned. Perfect timingjust finished my shift. How are you?
We traded updates, but my eyes flicked to the nurse tidying instruments. Olivia dismissed her with a nod.
You didnt just drop by for a chat, she said once we were alone. Finally expecting?
If only. I need advice. Dennis and I its not working. His mothers convinced its my fault. Ive done some tests, but I dont want the local clinic prying. Help me?
Of course. Lets see what youve got.
I slid her the folder. She scanned it, frown deepening.
Well?
Minor irregularities, but nothing alarming. Well need more tests. Who examined youSmithers? Has *he* been checked?
Dont be daft. Hed never agree.
Right. Can you come tomorrow at eight? Brilliant. God, its good to see you. Now, talk.
So I did. About catching Dennis with his assistant a year ago. About his mothers verdictBoys will be boys, dont throw away a marriage over a *fling*. About how Mum insisted a baby would fix everything, as if it were solely my duty.
Next morning, Olivia ran more tests.
Well? I adjusted my blouse, trying to steady my hands.
See for yourself. She laid out the scans, pointing at ghostly smudges.
A tumour? But Ive been checked so many
You know what this means. Londons your best bet. Listen, Ive got Samuels number. Hell refer you to a specialist. Let me call him
No. Not yet.
She scribbled down the digits. Dont wait. Lily Im so sorry.
I wandered the streets, numb. Healthy one day, staring down surgery the next. No children. No future. Why *me*?
At home, Dennis barely glanced up from his laptop.
Den.
Hm?
Im going away. A fortnight, maybe longer.
Mm.
Just as well. No interrogation. I warmed his dinner, left it by his elbow. He ate without looking.
That night, I pretended sleep when he finally came to bed.
Did you say something earlier?
Silence.
At dawn, I packed a small suitcase, left a note, and fled to London.
Philip answered on the first ring.
Hi, I said, forcing cheer.
Silence.
Phil? You there?
Lily? Bloody hell. Seven years Whats wrong?
I need your help.
An hour later, I stood in his office. Hed filled out, grown into his sharp features. How had I never noticed?
Tea? Coffee?
Im here as a patient. I handed him my file.
He studied it, interrupting with clipped questions. My hands trembledpart fear, part his nearness.
Where are you staying?
Nowhere yet. Came straight from the station.
He arranged a private room, more tests, consultations. Three days later, he summoned me.
Its bad, isnt it? My pulse hammered.
Wordlessly, he pushed the results across the desk.
I cant focusjust tell me.
Youre fine.
What?
No tumour. Olivia misread an infection. Weve treated it. Youre *healthy*.
I burst into tears.
Here. He offered a handkerchief. Call your husband. Give him the good news.
I froze. He doesnt know Im here.
His face changed. Stay in London. Weve an opening in general practice.
Hope flickered in his eyes.
I returned home, resigned my post, faced Denniss screeching mother.
I *can* have children, I snapped. Get your son checked.
I left that same day.
Philip kept his wordgot me the job, stayed close. Only after the divorce did I let myself kiss him.
Marry me? he asked one evening. Or am I still second-best?
I made a mistake. Let me fix it.
A year later, we wed. Our son arrived, perfect and whole.
Mistakes happenin life, in medicine. But not all of them are fatal.
