Happiness Is Possible
Jules dad is such a lovely blokealways cracking jokes, always kind. The absolute best dad in the world.
She cant wait for him to come home from his business trips, bringing presents and a heap of funny stories. Mums all smiles whenever hes back, but Gran? Not so much. She practically scowls and refuses to visit.
Jules wishes, more than anything, that Gran and Dad would just get along.
Oh, the stories Dad tells! Jules ends up clutching her sides from laughing so hard.
This time, hes brought her a big doll and a fluffy white rabbit.
This ones a girl rabbit, right, Dad?
Yeah, poppet. A girl. Wanna know her name?
Nooo!
Lucy.
Lucy? Like Mum?
Yeah. So youll always have a little Lucy with you.
Dad grins, Mum blushes, and hes got gifts for her toosome fancy perfume, probably.
Oh, stop spoiling us, Mum says, waving him off.
How could I not? Youre my favourite girls.
They have supper together, and Dad launches into another tale.
Right, so in the army, there was this blokeguess what his surname was?
What? Jules leans in.
Thunderclap. Massive fella, shoulders like this Dad spreads his arms wide. Built like a brick house. And his best mate? Mouseley. Tiny little thing, like an actual mouse. Inseparable, those two.
He goes on, spinning yarns until Jules is giggling herself to sleep.
The next day, they go to the park, eat ice cream, ride the carouselJules is so knackered she conks out on Dads shoulder on the way home.
But when she wakes up the next morning hes gone.
Maybe hes in the loo? Brushing his teeth?
Mums at the table, staring into her tea.
Mum, is Dad coming out soon? I need to brush my teeth.
Sweetheart Mum smiles, but her eyes are wet. Dad had to leave.
For work? Is it urgent?
Yes, love. Very urgent.
Jules grows up. Dad still visits, but not often. Gran wont hear a word about him.
Never says a proper hello, just grunts and looks the other way. Never around for birthdays, never for Christmasalways work this, work that. Whys he not married, eh? Bet hes already got a wife somewhere. Mark my words, Lucy, next time he shows up, you ask to see his papers
Mum! Lucy snaps. Enough.
Dad comes, Jules is over the moon. But Mum Jules notices the hushed arguments, the way Mums voice gets tight, the way Dads shoulders slump.
One day, its out in the open.
Lucy, you have to understandIve got obligations. I cant just
But you can do this to us? Is that it?
Dad leaves that night, hunched over, no goodbyes.
Grans voice is sharp. Told you, didnt I? Some secretbet hes got another family. Knew it.
Mums crying now. I found out too late. He begged me to keep the babysaid if it was a boy, hed leave straight after. But Jules came and he loves her, Mum. He adores her.
Adores her? If he did, hed be here. Whatre you gonna tell her when she figures it out?
Mum doesnt answer.
Dad visits one last time. He and Mum shut themselves in the bedroom, talking for hours.
After that, things go back to normalsort of. Dad still tells jokes, but theres tension now. Mum sighs a lot. Jules is sent to bed early.
Then he stops coming altogether.
One day, Jules asks when Dads visiting next.
Mum shrugs. Gran snaps, Good riddance to bad rubbish.
But Jules still waits.
She doesnt know theres another girl, maybe her age, in another town, calling him Dad too.
Jules hugs her white rabbit and whispers, Lucy you understand, dont you? Hes still the best dad.
Then, one day, she sees him. Walking with another woman. A girl her age. A boy about as old as the years hes been gone.
Theyre laughing. Holding hands. A proper family.
Jules wants to call out, but the words stick in her throat. He doesnt even see her.
That night, Grans words echo in her head. Another family.
And suddenly, it all makes sense.
The next morning, she asks Mum, quiet-like.
Mum does he have another family?
Mum looks out the window. Yes. Always did.
Then what are we?
We were his family too. Just not the official one.
Jules turns away. She wants to scream, but all that comes are tears.
Why didnt you tell me?
Because you loved him, Mum says, pulling her close. And so did I. And he loved you. Still does. Lifes just messy.
Jules remembers the stories, the gifts, the way hed ruffle her hair. It was real.
He was still the best dad.
When Jules is twelve, Mum marries Uncle Barry. Hes not unkindjust indifferent, like shes furniture.
Jules grows up, goes to uni, gets a flat. Life moves onwork, mates, heartbreaks. She tries not to think about Dad. It hurts too much.
Then, out of nowhere, he calls.
Poppet! Hows work? The flat alright?
She answers stiffly. But when he asks to meet, she says yes.
They sit in a café. Hes older nowgrey at the temples, tired eyes. But when he sees her, he grins that same boyish grin.
Youre beautiful, he says, fiddling with his cuff. All grown up.
Jules studies him. Not just her dadbut the man who lied, who lived two lives.
Dad I know. About your other family.
He sighs. Jules Im sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Youll always be my daughter. But I was a coward. Wanted it allyou, them.
Shes silent. Part of her wants to hug him. Part wants to run.
Finally, she says, I remember the stories. Thunderclap and Mouseley. You were the funniest, kindest dad. But I remember the pain too.
He bows his head. What can I do, Jules? How do I fix this?
She looks at himreally looks. Hes old now. Scared of losing her for good.
Just be here, she says. No secrets. No grand promises. Just be my dad.
He nods, eyes shiny.
Jules reaches out, touches his hand. And in that moment, she forgives him. Not for what he didbut for still being the man she loves, flaws and all.
Years pass. Jules has a daughterAnnie, a little blonde thing with big brown eyes.
One day, Dad visits. No rush, no secrets. Annie shrieks with joy.
Grandads here!
He scoops her up, laughing that same infectious laugh.
That evening, he tells Annie the old army story.
So there was this soldierguess his name?
What? Annies eyes widen.
Thunderclap! He spreads his arms. Shoulders like this!
Annie cackles, just like Jules used to. And Jules feels something warm in her chest.
Dad wasnt perfect. He messed up. But now hes here, honest. Annie gets a grandadnot a mystery.
Later, tucking Annie in, Jules thinks of that white rabbitLucy. The one Dad brought all those years ago.
Life didnt turn out how she dreamed. But watching her dad and her daughter laugh at the same silly story
Happiness is possible. Just not in the way you expect.
