Not a mother, a cuckoo
Where do you think youre going? Im askingwhat are you planning to do?
A sharp shout from her brother ripped Olivia out of the lingering morning haze. She pushed herself up on her elbows on the narrow bed in the guestroom, ears straining for sounds beyond the thin wall. For two weeks she had been holed up in her older brother Maxs flat while she scrounged for a job and a place of her own in Manchester. The move had been a struggle, but the tiny hometown shed left offered no prospects.
A highpitched infant wail shattered the quiet. Fourmonthold Tommy had awoken amidst his parents argument. Olivia winced, slipped the robe tighter around her, and perched on the edge of the bed.
Ive got an interview, Lila, Maxs wife, called out, her voice muffled by the kitchen door.
An interview? Are you out of your mind? Maxs voice rose. Youve got a newborn! What work could you possibly think of? Your place is here, with the baby!
Olivia waited for Lilas reply, but the flat fell into a heavy silence. Only Tommys cries persisted, then the sharp slam of the front door as Lila stormed out.
Olivia slipped into the kitchen. Max stood in the centre, cradling the wailing infant, his face a mask of fury and helplessness.
Just like that, he muttered, spotting her. She ditches the child and darts off to her own affairs.
Without a word, Olivia took the baby from Maxs arms. The little one gradually settled, his cheek pressed against her shoulder. Max sank heavily into a chair, his hands rubbing his face.
Lilas lost her mind, he continued, staring at the empty space. How can she abandon a baby and think about a job? At least my holidays started, so I can watch Tommy.
Olivia rocked the infant gently, weighing his words.
Max, maybe you should talk to Lilacalmly, without shouting, Olivia suggested softly. She could be battling something. Postnatal depression isnt rare; she might need professional help.
Max brushed her off as if swatting a fly.
Depression? No! Lilas always been a free spirit, a careerchaser. I hoped after the birth shed settle down, become a proper mother. She wont change. She doesnt care about the child!
Olivia opened her mouth to argue but kept quiet. Tommy finally fell asleep, and she carefully placed him in his cot.
Lila only returned at dusk. Olivia was tucking Tommy in when the lock clicked. The daughterinlaw passed the nursery without a glance. Olivia stepped into the hallway and saw Lila silently preparing a dinner at the stove. Max sat on the sofa, staring at the TV, refusing to speak to his wife.
The atmosphere grew suffocating. Olivia hurried back to her room and dialed her mother.
Mum, somethings wrong here, she whispered, recounting the days events.
Her mother sighed heavily over the line.
Yes, love, Lilas been like that since the baby was born. Max has complained many times. It seems her maternal instinct never woke up. My boy, it must be miserable for him. I cant imagine how a child feels with a living motherhe senses everything
Olivia lay awake for hours, bewildered. She remembered Lila before pregnancya sweet, caring woman. Max had adored her. Now the coldness toward her own child, toward Max, seemed impossible.
Lila was a regular ghost around the house, disappearing from morning until night, leaving Max alone with the infant. Max shuffled Tommy to the shop, on walks, trying to juggle baby duties with chores. Olivia helped where she could, but she knew this couldnt go on forever.
A week later Lila returned home, eyes sparkling for the first time. Olivia saw a hint of a smile break across her face.
Ive got a job, Lila announced at dinner.
Max froze, spoon halfway to his mouth, his face turning a shade of shock.
Youre kidding me! he roared. Youve got a fourmonthold! You should be looking after him, not running to an office!
Lila replied coldly, Its my life.
Max leapt from his seat. Youre selfish! You only think of yourself! Thats wrong! Youre a motheryour place is beside your child!
Olivia watched Lila shrink into herself, silently retreating to the bedroom. She didnt see her again that night.
The next day Olivia and Max took Tommy for a walk in the park. Max pushed the pram, muttering complaints.
See how she treats him? Our own son, and shes indifferent, Max said, eyeing the sleeping baby. She never picks him up, never kisses, never hugs. What kind of mother is that? Not a mother a cuckoo!
Olivia stayed mute, unsure what to answer. She felt sorry for her brother, yet something inside told her the story was far more tangled than it seemed.
They returned home after a couple of hours to an eerie quiet. Olivia flipped the hallway light switch.
Lila? Are you home? she called.
Only silence answered. She swept through the roomskitchen empty, living room bare. Max emerged, Tommy in his arms, heading toward the bedroom. Olivia heard Max gasp sharply. She hurried to him.
Max stood before an opened wardrobe. Half the shelves gaped empty. Lilas belongings were gone.
Shes gone Max croaked, his voice hoarse.
He collapsed onto the bed, still holding his son, his shoulders trembling.
Ungrateful! After everything I gave heran apartment, love, marriage, a child! he screamed. I gave her everything, and she just walks away!
Olivia sat beside him, trying to soothe him, while a cold dread tightened in her chest.
Max, what drove her to this? Tell me honestly what happened between you two.
Max lifted his reddened eyes to Olivia, then fell silent, gathering his thoughts.
The pregnancy was an accident, he finally admitted. Lila didnt want a baby. She said she wasnt ready, that she wanted to build her career first. I pressed her, told her we were both thirty, it was time to settle, have a family. She agreed, but after the birth she never loved him. I hoped motherhood would awaken her feelings, that shed bond with the child. Instead she drifted further away.
Olivia stared, eyes wide. The picture shed painted in her mind shattered instantly. Shed thought Lilas temperament was a matter of stubbornness, but the truth was darker. Lila had been forced into motherhood she never wanted.
Max Olivia could only whisper.
A few days later Maxs holiday ended. He returned to work, effectively shifting Tommys care onto Olivia. She didnt objecther nephew was innocent in his parents conflict.
A week passed. One morning Max barged in, waving a stack of papers.
Shes filing for divorce! he shouted. And she wants to renounce parental rights to Tommy! She said on the phoneIf I wanted the child, I should have taken care of him myself! I have a job, a flat; Ill manage. She doesnt need any of it!
Olivia rocked her nephew in silence, listening to Maxs tirade. Each day she understood Lila a little more.
The following week Olivia cared for the baby almost alone. Max came home from work, ate dinner, and collapsed onto the bed. Weekends he slept or watched television. The bulk of the household duties fell on Olivia. She began to see why Lila had fled. Max contributed nothing at home, only demanded.
Finally, Olivia received good newsa job offer. She secured a modest onebedroom flat near the office, finally ready to move out of Maxs chaotic house. Max reacted badly.
Youre abandoning us too! What about Tommy? Who will look after him? How can you just walk away?
Olivia met his glare calmly. She echoed Lilas words.
You wanted the child, Max. Now look after him yourself. Dont shove the responsibility onto others.
In her new flat, Olivia arranged her belongings, the silence soothing after weeks of infant cries and Maxs outbursts. She pulled out a photo from a boxa childhood picture of her and Max, both grinning. She ran a fingertip over the image, reflecting on how even those closest to us can betray. The brother shed idolised proved selfish, shattering his wifes life. And Lila, once condemned, had simply been fighting for herself.
Olivia placed the photograph on a shelf and turned away. A fresh life stretched before her, her own at last.
