«He only married you out of pity,» said her sister and walked out of the kitchen.
«Another call from Katy’s school,» Marina slammed her cup down so hard the tea sloshed over the edge. «Her teacher says shes stopped trying altogetherjust sits there like a ghost in class.»
Lena flinched, setting aside the knife shed been using to peel potatoes. Her sister stood in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing that familiar expression Lena had known since childhood. It was the look Marina always wore before saying something cruel.
«Maybe shes just tired? The curriculums quite demanding these days,» Lena murmured, picking up another potato.
«Tired?» Marina scoffed. «Whats she got to be tired about? Edward spoils her rotten, and you coddle her like shes made of glass. And for what? All she brings home are failing marks and notes in her planner.»
Lena said nothing. Katy had changed after she and Edward marriedwithdrawn, quiet. She used to be so lively, so quick to laugh. Teachers praised her; classmates adored her. Now…
«You know what I think?» Marina pulled out a chair and sat across from her. «Katy knows. Children sense falseness better than adults.»
«What are you talking about?» Lena looked up.
«That this marriage of yours is one big lie,» her sister said calmly, but there was steel in her voice. «You think she doesnt notice how you and Edward speak to each other? Like strangers sharing a house.»
Lenas chest tightened. The potato slipped from her fingers into the bowl of water.
«We talk just fine.»
«Oh, come off it! Im not blind. You dont even argue properlyjust skirt around each other. Edward comes home, eats dinner, stares at the telly. You cook, clean, do the laundry. Like flatmates, not spouses.»
«Not every couple rows,» Lena kept her voice steady. «Maybe were just quiet people.»
Marina shook her head.
«Lena, stop lying to yourself. Youve seen how Edward looks at youor rather, how he doesnt. You walk into a room, and he wont even glance up from the paper.»
It was true. Lena had noticed long ago but refused to dwell on it. Edward barely registered her presence. A nod in the morning, a mumbled question about dinner at night. Conversations were strictly practicalno warmth, no fondness. No life in his voice.
«Remember how he used to look at Olivia?» Marina pressed. «Before she died?»
Lena stiffened. Her sister rarely brought up Edwards first wife.
«Dont, Marina.»
«I will! You saw them together. How he doted on her when she fell illcouldnt take his eyes off her. Hands shaking whenever the doctor spoke. And now? You could be burning up with fever, and he wouldnt fetch you so much as a paracetamol.»
Lena stood and walked to the window. Rain drizzled against the glass, beads of grey sliding down the pane. She remembered the day Edward proposedsix months after Olivias funeral. Theyd been drinking tea in the kitchen while Katy slept. After a long silence, hed said flatly,
«Lena will you marry me? Katy needs a mother. And I I cant do this alone.»
No declaration of love. No tenderness. Just a transaction.
«He only married you out of pity,» Marina said, and left.
Lena stayed by the window, the words ringing in her skull. Out of pity. Maybe it was true. Edward had pitied hera lonely woman past thirty with no husband, no children. And shed pitied him, a widower with a little girl. And this was the result: a loveless house. A hollow marriage. And Katy, suffering most of all.
Lena returned to the table and picked up the knife, hands trembling. She thought of the night shed accepted Edwards proposal. Back then, it had seemed rightthat love might grow in time. That being needed was enough.
Two years had passed. Nothing had changed. Edward remained polite, grateful, and utterly cold. Sometimes shed catch him staring at Olivias photo in the sitting room, his face softening in a way it never did for her.
The front door clicked shut. Katy was home from school. The girl slipped straight to her room without a word. She used to burst into the kitchen, full of stories about her day. Now, silence.
Lena followed. Katy sat at her desk, hunched over a textbook, but her eyes werent moving.
«Darling, how was school?»
«Fine,» Katy didnt look up.
«Anything I can help with?»
«No. Ill manage.»
Lena perched on the edge of the bed. Still, Katy wouldnt meet her gaze.
«Sweetheart, whats wrong? Youve barely spoken to me in weeks.»
Finally, Katy lifted her head. Her eyes held a sadness too old for ten years.
«Whats the point?» she whispered. «Youll leave soon anyway.»
«Why would I leave?»
«Because Dad doesnt love you,» Katy said, matter-of-fact. «He only loved Mum. Youre just here.»
Lenas throat closed. So the child had known all along. Had carried this alone.
«Katy, Im not going anywhere. I promised you that.»
«But youre unhappy. I hear you crying at night when you think no ones listening.»
Lena had no answer. She had criednot from anger, but from the crushing weight of living someone elses life.
That evening, after Edward returned from work, she waited. They ate in silence. Katy bolted her food and fled to her room. Edward switched on the telly.
«Edward,» she finally said. «We need to talk.»
He muted the programme, frowning. «Something wrong?»
«Katys teacher rang today. Her marks are slipping.»
«Right. What do you suggest?»
Lena sat across from him, hands clasped.
«Edward do you ever think its not about school? That she senses somethings off between us?»
«Not following.»
«That were not a family. Were just two people sharing a house.»
Edwards brow furrowed.
«Lena, I dont see the issue. Katys fed, clothed, cared for»
«But she doesnt have happy parents,» Lena said softly. «Children know.»
Edward turned to the window.
«What do you want me to say?»
«The truth. Why did you marry me?»
A long pause. The clock ticked. The fridge hummed.
«Because Katy needed a mother,» he said at last. «And I needed someone to run the house. Youre a good cook. You keep things tidy. Katy likes you.»
«What about love?»
Edward met her eyes, and for once, there was something like regret in his gaze.
«Lena, I never promised you love. I told you why I needed a wife.»
True. He hadnt. Shed assumed his reserve was just awkwardnessthat feelings would come. They never had.
«What if Olivia were alive?» she asked.
Something shifted in his face. A warmth. A grief.
«But shes not.»
«Answer me.»
«If Olivia were alive,» he said quietly, «Id never have remarried.»
There it was. The truth shed feared. She would always be second. A placeholder.
«Edward what if I left?»
He blinked.
«Why? This arrangement works.»
«For you. Not for me. Not for Katy.»
«Katys fine. Its just a phase.»
«No. Shes clever. She knows whats missing. And its killing her.»
Edward stood, pacing.
«Lena, what do you want? For me to conjure up love on command? It doesnt work like that.»
«I dont want forced love. I want you to let me go find someone wholl love me properly.»
He stopped, turned.
«And Katy?»
«She stays with you. But she needs a father whos presentnot one stuck in the past.»
Silence stretched. Finally, Edward sank back into his chair.
«Where will you go?»
«Marinas, until I find work and a flat.»
«I wont file for divorce.»
«I will.»
Another pause.
«What do I tell Katy?»
«The truth. That adults make mistakes. That well always care for each other, but cant live this way anymore.»
Edward nodded.
«Alright. Maybe youre right.»
Lena didnt sleep that night. She lay awake, terrified of starting overbut more terrified of spending her life as a replacement.
In the morning, she knocked on Katys door.
«Sweetheart, I need to tell you something.»
Katy eyed her warily.
«Im leaving. Not because I dont love you. But because sometimes grown-ups realise theyve made the wrong choice.»
Katy said nothing.
«Youll stay with Dad. Ill be nearby. You can call or visit whenever you like.»
«And Dad?» Katy whispered.
«Hell be alright. He needs time to figure things out too.»
Suddenly, Katy flung her arms around her.
«Lena will you find a nice man? One who loves you properly?»
«I dont know, darling. But Im going to try to be happy.»
«Good,» Katy mumbled into her shoulder. «I hated when you cried.»
Lena packed quicklyjust essentials. Edward saw her to the door.
«Lena,» he said awkwardly. «Thank you. For these two years. Youre a good woman. Youll find someone better.»
«And you,» she said gently, «need to learn to live in the present.»
Marina hugged her without a word. «Brave girl. Better late than never.»
That evening, Katy rang.
«Lena? Dad took Mums photo down today. Said it was time. Andhe booked me with a counsellor. Said I should talk about everything.»
«Thats good, sweetheart.»
«And he said youre the bravest person he knows. That hes proud to have known you.»
For the first time in years, Lena smiledreally smiled.
Perhaps Marina was right. Edward had married her out of pity. But she didnt need pity anymore. She needed love.
And now, at last, she stood a chance of finding it.
