I never loved my wife, and I told her so many times. It wasnt her faultwe got on well enough. She never made a fuss or held it against mealways kind, always caring. But the problem remainedthere was no love.
Every morning, Id wake up wanting to leave. I dreamed of finding a woman I could truly love. But I never imagined how life would turn everything upside down.
With Emily, I was comfortable. Not only did she keep the house perfectly, but she was stunning, too. My mates were jealous, baffled at how Id landed such a catch.
Even I didnt get why she loved me. Im just an ordinary bloke, nothing special. And yet she did How?
Her love and devotion unsettled me. What gnawed at me even more was the thought that if I left, someone else would take my place. Someone richer, more handsome, more successful.
The idea of her with another man drove me mad. She was *mine*, even if I didnt love her. That sense of ownership was stronger than reason. But can you spend your whole life with someone you dont love? I thought I could manageI was wrong.
*Tomorrow, Ill tell her everything,* I decided before bed. Over breakfast the next morning, I finally gathered the courage.
«Emily, sit down. We need to talk.»
«Of course, love. Whats on your mind?»
«Imagine we got divorced. I leave, we live separately»
Emily laughed. «Whats this strange idea? Is this some sort of game?»
«Hear me out. Its serious.»
«Alright, Im imagining it. What next?»
«Answer honestlywould you find someone else if I left?»
«James, whats got into you? Why are you even thinking about leaving?»
«Because I dont love you. I never have.»
«What? Are you joking? I dont understand.»
«I want to leave, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else it wont leave me alone.»
Emily went quiet for a moment, then replied calmly:
«I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. GoI wont be with anyone else.»
«Promise?»
«Of course,» she assured me.
«Wait but where would I even go?»
«Nowhere?»
«No. Weve spent our whole lives together. I suppose Id still have to stay close,» I said glumly.
«Dont worry,» Emily answered. «After the divorce, well swap the house for two smaller flats.»
«Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why are you doing it?»
«Because I love you. When you love someone, you dont keep them against their will.»
Months passed, and we divorced. Soon after, I found out Emily hadnt kept her promise. Shed found another man, and the house she inherited from her grandmother? She never planned to split it. I was left with nothing.
How can I trust women now? Ive no idea. I sit alone in the flat I can barely afford, the one she helped me find, and stare at the photo of us on our wedding day. Her smile still haunts menot with guilt, but with quiet triumph. Somehow, she loved me enough to set me free, and punished me just as much for it. I dont know if I恨 her or admire her more. All I know is, I miss her terribly.
