He married you, but he loves me, said her best friend, avoiding eye contact.
Marina, fancy a coffee? asked Emily, flicking the kettle on and pulling two mugs from the cupboard.
Go on. Strong, thoughmy heads splitting, Marina rubbed her temples and slumped into a kitchen chair.
Emily wordlessly scooped instant coffee into the mugs before turning back. Theyd been friends for over a decade, since uni, and Emily could always read Marinas moods. Today, she looked wreckeddark circles under her eyes, hair a messy ponytail.
Late night again? Emily ventured.
Marina nodded, studying the cheap tablecloth pattern.
Stuck at the office till half one. Reports due tomorrow, and the numbers wouldnt balance. Came home to Oliver already asleep. Woke uphed left for work. Rinse and repeat all week.
Emily slid a steaming mug across the table and sat opposite. Something flickered in her expression, but Marina missed it.
How are things, really? Since the wedding? Emily stirred sugar into her coffee.
Fine, I suppose, Marina shrugged. Adjusting. You know what they sayfirst years the hardest. Mum reckons its just the settling-in phase.
Settling-in, Emily repeated, bitterness creeping into her voice.
Marina finally looked up. Em, whats wrong? Youre acting off.
Im fine, Emily waved a hand. Just knackered. Works mad, and weve started redecorating. Heads spinning.
But Marina knew that tone. It was the same one Emily used at uni when she confessed her crush on their philosophy lecturer. That same strained brightness.
Em, spit it out. Were best mates, Marina pressed.
Emily stood, walked to the window, stared at the garden. Then she turned sharply.
Marina, Ive got to tell you something. Dont know how youll take it.
Go on.
Its about Oliver.
Marina set her mug down slowly. What about him?
Emily stepped closer but kept her eyes down. Weve been seeing each other. Six months.
The words didnt land at first.
Seeing each other how?
Properly. After work. Weekends when you visit your parents. Marina, I swear, I never meantit just happened.
Just happened? Marinas voice hardened. An affair just happened?
Dont call it that. We connect. Talk for hours. Go to the theatre
Theatre, Marina echoed. And the bedroom? Just more connecting?
Emily flushed. Silence answered.
Marina stood, legs wobbling, pride keeping her upright.
How long? Her voice was eerily calm.
Six months. Started before your wedding. We tried to stop, but after he rang me.
After the wedding. So on our honeymoon, he was thinking of you?
Emilys head dropped lower.
Marina, I know this hurts. But he married youand loves me. We never wanted to hurt you, but
He married me but loves you, Marina repeated, the words a verdict.
The kitchen hummed with fridge noise and ticking clocks. Marina stood frozen; Emily still wouldnt look at her.
Why tell me now? You couldve kept lying.
I couldnt. Oliver wants to confess, but I thought youd hear it better from me.
From my best friend, Marina laughed bitterly. Ten years of friendship. Lovely.
Marina, love isnt a choice. It just
Just happened? Like you just happened to smile through my wedding? Ask how married life was? Tell me to be patient with him?
I wanted it to work for you, I did! But I cant help how I feel. I love him.
And he loves you?
Emily finally looked up. The answer was in her eyes before she whispered, Yes. He says he realised too late.
Too late? A weddings not a life sentence. He couldve walked.
He didnt want to upset you. Thought hed grow to love you. Everyone said you were perfect together.
Perfect, Marina slumped back onto the chair, legs giving out. So he married me out of pity?
Respect. He cares
But doesnt love me.
No. Im sorry.
Marina pressed her hands to her face. Six months of marriage, all while hed been with her best mate. The late nights, the excusesit all made sense now.
Whered you meet?
My flat. Cafés across town.
This kitchen?
Silence.
Marina grabbed her bag.
Where are you going? Emily panicked.
Home. To talk to my husband.
Wait! We can fix this
How? A throuple? Or do I hand him over like a borrowed book?
I dont want to lose you.
You already did.
The bus ride home was a blur. Passengers, stops, streetsall muted. One phrase on loop: *He married you but loves me.*
The flat was silent. Oliver wouldnt be back for hours. Marina sat on their bed, replaying every distant look, every missed call. How had she missed it?
Keys jangled at 6 PMearly for him.
Marina? You here?
In here.
He kissed her cheek like always. Her stomach turned.
How was work? she asked automatically.
Same old. Knackered.
Over dinner, he chatted about projects, his boss, weekend plans. A performance. She watched, numb.
Oliver.
Hm?
Emily told me something today.
He froze mid-bite.
What? His voice tightened.
About you two.
He set his fork down, exhaled. She told you?
Yeah. In the same kitchen where youve probably shagged.
Marina
Just answer. Is it true?
Yes. I was going to tell you.
After six months of lies?
We tried to stop before the wedding, but
But your love was too strong, she finished.
He stood, paced to the window.
I never wanted this. But I love her.
And me?
Pause. Then:
I care about you. But its not love. I thought itd come.
So you married me out of obligation?
You wanted it. Everyone said we fit.
Like a spreadsheet, Marina muttered.
I didnt mean to hurt you.
But you did. For half a year.
That night, they slept back-to-back. By morning, Oliver left without a word. Marina called in sick, wandering their flat like a ghost.
The phone rang at noon. Emily.
Can we talk?
About what?
Everything. Please.
Curiosity won. Go on.
I never planned this. We just talked at your birthdayremember when you ran out for cake? He admitted he wasnt sure about marrying you. And I fell for him.
And?
We met up. Just talking at first. Then more. I tried to cut it off after the wedding, but he came back.
And you caved.
I was miserable too.
Marina almost laughed. Once, shed have sympathised. Now? Empty.
You got what you wanted. Why call?
Because I miss you.
Too late.
She hung up, switched off her phone.
That evening, she met Oliver with a suitcase.
Packed your things. Filing for divorce tomorrow.
He nodded, took it.
Where will I stay?
Emilys, probably.
Marina if you need help with paperwork
Ill manage.
She shut the door, finally let herself cry. Then, strangelyrelief.
The divorce was quick. No fights. A month later, Oliver and Emily moved in together. The news barely stung.
And another month on, in the park, a man with a Labrador helped her pick up dropped shopping. They talked. He looked at her in a way no one had for years.
Fancy a coffee? he asked.
Marina smiled. Why not?
Life, it turned out, wasnt over.
