«Mum, meet someone,» Oliver said, stepping aside to reveal a young woman. «This is Emily. My fiancée.»
Anna nearly collapsed onto the nearest chairthankfully, it was right where it should be. Her boy, her Ollie, looked like a schoolboy next to his bride-to-be, who towered over him with the confidence of a woman whod seen a decade or two more of life.
«‘Ello,» Emily said, hands stuffed in her jeans pockets, chewing gum with the ease of someone who owned the world.
«Hello there,» Anna stammered, still reeling. «Since when…? How?»
«Mum, relax!» Oliver kicked off his shoes and gestured for Emily to do the same. «Well be staying at Ems place, right, love?»
«Mm-hmm,» she nodded, still working her jaw.
«Son, can I have a word?» Anna rose and headed for the kitchen.
«Say it in front of me,» Emily plopped onto the sofa, legs crossed, already flicking through TV channels with the remote. «Ollie and me dont keep secrets. Right, bunny?»
«Right, Mum,» Oliver agreed, flushing pink.
Anna took a breath. «Son, are you sure shes the right one? Shes at least ten years older than you!»
«Eight!» Emily corrected. «And it doesnt matter. Got a problem with that? Im independent, well-off, a grown woman»
«Exactlya woman! My boys barely twenty!» Anna clutched her head.
«Well, someones got to make a man of him, since no ones managed it yet,» Emily smirked.
Anna opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water.
«Mum,» Oliver finally spoke up, «We came to askwe need money for the wedding.»
«And why?» Anna scoffed. «Hows that my problem?»
«Seriously?» Emily blinked. «Traditionally, the grooms parents pay for the wedding. Mine certainly think so.»
«Oh, how convenient!» Anna threw her hands up. «You offload your leftovers and demand cash? I should be paid for handing my boy over to an old mare. Not a penny!»
Emily stood, grinning, and stepped close. «Suit yourself, love. Come on, bunny, well manage.» She marched out, Oliver trailing behind, casting one last hopeful glance at his mother. But Anna turned away, though not before asking:
«Why bunny?»
«Coz hes got big ears!» Emily shouted from the door, shoving him onto the pavement.
«Bye, Mum!» Oliver called before the door slammed.
«Lord, where did I go wrong?» Anna sobbed into her tea, drowning her sorrows in biscuits. Her sweet, gentle boy, tangled up with this predator!
«His ears are perfectly normal,» she sniffed belatedly at the door.
Outside, Emily scratched her head. «What now? We cant afford a venue, a band, or a proper spread. My folks wont chip in either.»
«Maybe we could use the cottage, then go travelling?» Oliver suggested hopefully.
«Why didnt you say sooner?» Emily clapped his shoulder. «Go sweet-talk your mum for the keys. Ill waitwouldnt want to shock the old dear with my modern ways.»
Anna had just calmed down when the doorbell rang again. Her son stood alone.
«She left you?» Anna brightened.
«Mum, we love each other.»
«Then what?»
«Can we borrow the cottage for the wedding?»
«Over my dead body! Youll wreck the place!»
«Well clean up! Please, Mumdont you want me happy?»
Anna sighed. «Fine.» She fetched the keys. «But it better be spotless!»
«Cheers, Mum!» Oliver kissed her cheek and bolted.
«Look, Em!» He waved the keys triumphantly.
«Knew you had it in you.» Emily spat out her gum and kissed him soundly.
Anna was invitedmuch to her surprise. «How am I supposed to smile through this?» she moaned to her neighbour.
«Relax,» the neighbour shrugged. «Kids these days marry and divorce like its fashion. Mines on husband number three. Just pray they dont pop out kids.»
The wedding was held on a rare sunny day. Thirty guests gathered, including Emilys parentsstiff as boards until her dad loosened up with whiskey and flirted shamelessly.
«What does she see in him?» Emilys mum whined.
«Im not thrilled either,» Anna snapped, moving away before she ruined the party.
The garden was a disastertrampled vegetable patches, stolen firewood, guests relieving themselves behind apple trees. Anna cringed at every popped champagne cork.
By dawn, the revelry ended. Anna surveyed the wreckage: bottles, half-eaten food, discarded shawls fluttering from branches. The newlyweds emerged from the housewith suitcases.
«Where are you going?» Anna blocked their path. «Whos cleaning this mess?»
«Weve got a flight,» Oliver said. «The guests can manage.»
«Your cottage is a dump,» Emily added, dragging him off.
Anna gaped. «A dump?!»
Guests slunk away, leaving the mess untouched. Emilys dad, reeking of booze, mumbled apologies before wobbling off with his wife.
Alone, Anna found an envelope of cashwedding gifts left behind. She grinned, dialled a cleaning service, and paid them handsomely from the stash.
«Safe travels, kids,» she muttered, sipping coffee with a smirk. Some battles werent worth fightingbut a tidy home? Priceless.
