WOMENS FRIENDSHIP
There are acquaintances you meet for a coffee, and there are friends who stay with you for life.
Molly Harper had her own tale.
Alright, thats it for today, she said brightly. My husband will be home from work soon and I havent even started dinner. And you, kiss your man and ring him as soon as you know the dates youll be arriving!
Molly closed the call in high spirits; her friends husband was about to visit their daughter in France, which meant they would have a real chance to meet up again soon.
Its such a shame that Lucy lives so far away now and everythings become so expensive and difficult to arrange, the Countess lamented once more. At least we can chat at length on the phone.
Even though their meetings were rare and their lifestyles completely different, conversation between them never felt forced. It picked up as if it had never stopped. Most women who make friends later in life after moving abroad cant manage that. You would think that sharing the same social circle, attending the same events and traveling to the same destinations would give endless topics to discussbut it rarely does. Too often they end up squeezing out empty small talk, and Molly refused to waste her time on hollow banter.
Molly and Lucy had known each other since first grade, yet their true friendship only blossomed after Lucy left England. In school each of them kept to her own little world, only barely crossing paths, although Molly had always dreamed of a true FRIENDlike the ones in the novels, real and solid.
Writers dont lie; they draw from life unless theyre penning fairy tales.
Theres a common belief, backed by countless jokes, that women never have genuine friendshipsonly strong male bonds. But what does a male friendship look like? Going to a football match together, helping each other move heavy furniture, chatting about politics, maybe lending a few quid they never really pour their souls out to one another. At most theyll complain about a spouse or a boss.
Molly split female friendships into two categories: pals and true friends.
She always had plenty of pals, with whom she could chat about anything superficially: fashion, health, beauty, books, films, travel, home life, raising children, caring for ageing parents.
A TRUE FRIEND is different. Its someone you can be yourself with, who accepts you as you are, where you can lay bare your deepest secrets without fearing ridicule or judgment, and instead count on unwavering support. Its the person who will rush to your side at the first call, in any weather, with or without a bottle, and will listen to the same story in endless variations, gently wiping away tears and snot.
Molly knew such a friend existed because she would act that way herself. Sometimes a midnight call wasnt possiblefirst the parents would refuse, then the husbandbut otherwise she was always ready to lend a hand. She had spent her whole life searching for that kind of bond and finally found it in Lucy after a long, thorny journey.
There were setbacks. Shed been close to a neighbour since they were toddlers, only to fall out over a broken wooden doll that Lucys parents had given her for her birthday. The doll was ruined when a visiting cousin dunked it in water during a game of house, and the blame fell on Molly. Lucy never defended her, and that chapter ended there.
Another disappointment came from a friend in the United States who, over a trivial argument, cut off all contact despite years of shared hardships in exile and Mollys sincere apologies.
The biggest false friend, however, was Emma Collins. Emma appeared in second grade and slipped straight into the group. She was short, plump, with tightly coiled hair tied into a thick braid. Where she lacked conventional beauty, she compensated with boundless energy, confidence and a laugh that some called infectious and others likened to a snort.
The girls became fast friends because they lived on the same street and rode the tube home together. They started a little ritual: each day on the way to the station they would buy a wafercone icecream with a pink swirl from a stall. Emma almost always paid, as she received a weekly allowance of one pound from her mother, who said, Heres your moneyspend it as you like. Molly, however, believed friends shouldnt keep petty scores.
Eating that icecream every day hardened the oncesickly girls; colds rarely visited them, and their parents even enrolled them in a swimming club they attended together after lessons.
They shared many other activities: cinema trips, theatre outings, gallery visits (if Molly disliked a particular artist, Emma would assert authoritatively that she simply wasnt mature enough yet), pioneer camps, dance and art classes. Molly liked painting but quit after Emma criticised a quail she had drawn, saying it looked more like a cow but was an oil painting, therefore better.
Both fell for the same boy in primary school and broke off their crushes simultaneouslyat least Molly thought soonly to discover later that Emma still harboured feelings for him in secret.
Their parents were preoccupied and gave little guidance, while Grandma often warned, Stay away from that Emma, shes envious. Molly would wave her off, You dont understand, were proper friends!
Molly was ready to concede leadership, accept unchallenged opinions, endure chronic latenessall trivial compared with the firm belief that a true friend would be a rock when needed.
In fact, Emma once decided to tell a classmate who was courting Molly that he wasnt suitable, insisting he leave her alone. Molly chalked that up to Emmas overprotectiveness and strong character. Later, when Mollys psychologist mother harshly rebuked her for a close relationship with a fellow student, Emma soothed her crying friend and bravely defended her.
Their friendship survived university choices, temptations, weddings (each was the others maid of honour), and the birth of first children.
Eventually they scattered across the globe: Molly moved to America, Emma to Israel, and contact dwindled for years. They unexpectedly reunited on neutral groundin Amsterdam. The initial joy gave way to Mollys puzzlement when she learned Emma had visited America several times since they last spoke but never bothered to reach out. Adding insult to injury, Emma bragged about beginning a romance with Mollys most faithful admirer, even hinting at intimate details Molly didnt want to hear.
It hurt, but the Amsterdam meeting also turned pleasant when Lucy, who had flown in from London, joined them, and old grievances were buried deep, if not entirely erased.
A few more years passed with occasional letters and a couple of meetups. In that time Emma divorced and kept looking for a new partner, while Mollys marriage stalled. Their children grew, and they told themselves they just had to endure.
Then it became unbearable. An old acquaintance resurfaced, they started emailing, and eventually met when she attended his medical conference in his hometown. They reminisced, flirted, and the affair ended predictably in bed.
A romance blossomed. Molly didnt feel proud, yet life suddenly burst with colour and she could not and did not want to stop it. Their meetings were raresometimes she escaped for a conference, other times he was on a work trip.
One day her lover proposed, what he thought was a brilliant plan: meet in Israel, where both had relatives, with Emma covering the logistics. The plan was shaky from the start, but they took the risk. Emma threw herself into it, approving the lover (Thats what you need, not the bloke you married!), even trying to slip into his room while Molly was away, only to be sent away. She accompanied them to chic galleries, expensive restaurants (she chose the venues, he paid).
Everything went smoothly enough that the lovers decided to spend three days on the Red Sea coast in Eilat. Emma began packing, hoping to be taken along, but the lover refused to pay for her ticket.
Why would we need a blacksmith? he asked reasonably, and left Emma in Jerusalem to invent excuses if his wife called.
Three days vanished in an instant, and as the sunkissed couple returned to Jerusalem, Emmas phone rang.
Your husband called me last night. He caught me off guard, I was confused, tried all night to calm him down, but he seemed to already know everything, she babbled. Better that way, otherwise youd never have decided.
What followed was a long, painful reconciliation with her husband, a marriage patched together for a few more years, and a friendship that never fully recovered. Emma never admitted any fault, perhaps believing shed helped Molly. Molly never brought up the wound again.
They still exchange occasional messages, but never invite each other to subsequent weddings or see each other in person. One evening Mollys phone pinged: Google Photos had compiled a new slideshow of pictures shed taken with Lucy over the years of trips and gatherings.
They can read our thoughts now, she thought with a sigh, yet she smiled as she lingered over the images and memories.
In the end, she realised that true friendship isnt measured by endless chatter or grand gestures, but by the quiet certainty that someone will stand by you, even when life twists and turns. That certainty, she knew, was the real treasure of any relationship.
