«Shell regret this!»
Thats what Oliver thought when his wife suddenly announced she was filing for divorce. Just yesterday, everything had been fineshed been washing his socks and ironing his shirts. And now? Divorce papers! All for no reason at all! Oliver worked hard, never raised a hand to her, barely went out, and drank in moderation.
«What more did she bloody want?!» he fumed. «Found herself some other bloke, didnt she? The cow! Shell regret this! Shell come crawling back in tears! Ill show her! Shell understandbut itll be too late!»
While he stewed in anger, his wife, Emily, was repeating the same things shed been saying for years:
«Im tired of carrying everything alone! I work, I clean, I cook, I look after our son. Im exhausted! Ive done the mathsyou cost more than you bring into this house! When you disappeared for three days last month, I realised life was easier without you! The house stays cleaner, quieter. I dont have to cook for youTommy and I dont need fried meat every night! Without you, even the stove stays spotlessI make a stew or some meatballs, and it lasts us two days instead of vanishing in one sitting! I just want my life to be easier! Im sick of turning into some haggard woman with shopping bags! I dont even recognise myself around you! Youre expensive, exhausting, and embarrassing!»
«When was the last time you read Tommy a bedtime story? Never? When did you take him to the park? Bathe him? All he hears from you is, Go away, Im tired. Do you even know which school Ive enrolled him in? His teachers name? When his school prep classes are? You dont care! You live under the same roof but never speak to him! He either sees his dad passed out drunk on the sofa or asleep with a beer bottle. What kind of example is that? Why does he need a father like you? Do you remember his birthday? No? Then whats the point of you? I wont live like this anymore!»
«Does she ever get tired of the same old rant?» Oliver had wondered just yesterday. Emily had been spouting this hysterical speech almost every evening while he shoveled down dinner straight from the pan. «Typical nagging,» was his general attitude. «She just argues out of boredom.»
Everything had been fine! And nowdivorce! Out of nowhere!
«Shell regret it! Thinks some other bloke will want her? A worn-out thirty-year-old? Just waitshell beg me back in two days! And Ill decide if its worth it!»
«Ive packed your things. I cant stand the sight of you anymore. Get out.»
«Fine!» Oliver swallowed the last of his sausage. «Ill go. But whether I come backthats another question!»
He gave her one last chance to change her mindlingering while putting on his shoes, rustling the bags, hovering by the door. But she didnt budge. «Stubborn cow,» he thought bitterly, regretting not eating more sausages before storming out.
He had to crash at his mums. She launched into the usual interrogationwhat happened, why did she kick you out, what did you do, it cant be for no reason
«Well, it can! She threw me out over nothing!» Oliver insisted. «I did everything for that family! Worked my fingers to the bone! Brought money home! But it was never enough! Always moaning about boots or coats! Wants a rich bloke, doesnt she? Probably already found one! Thats why she kicked me out! Got bored! Wanted more attention!»
His mum threw up her hands and called Emily. But the conversation clearly went nowhereno one begged Oliver to come back.
«Fine! Shell regret it! Wheres she going to find another man like me? Whod want her with a kid?» Oliver reasoned, picking up discounted beer at the shop.
At the first court hearing, Emily looked differentmaybe a new haircut, maybe makeup. But she looked good. Smiling. Nervous when answering questions: no real family for years, no help, no support, never involved with their son. «Just a womans whining,» Oliver muttered, trying to steady his trembling hands. He needed a drink, but hed held off before court.
The judgea woman, of coursesmirked.
«Do you drink excessively?»
«I barely touch the stuff!» Oliver snapped. «Maybe two beers after work! Right now, ImIm under stress! My wife left me!»
«Right,» she said dryly.
She gave them three months to reconcile. Oliver glanced at his almost-ex-wife. Still no regret?
«God, are you ever sober?» she wrinkled her nose at his stare. Clearly, no regret yet.
«Fine, Ill wait,» Oliver decided. «Lets see how shes crying in three months! Without a man! Shell crawl back!» He loved imagining Emily begging. Him refusing. Only returning on his terms!
But for three months, Emily made no effortcourt orders meant nothing to her! No calls, no texts. Acted like he didnt exist!
«Shes definitely found someone else!» But cautious questions to mutual friends and social media stalking turned up nothing. No one new.
So after three months, Oliver prepared for his triumph. Shed finally realised how hard life was alone.
«Shell be sobbing!» he fantasised. Even told his mum:
«Shell drop the case, no question! Shes figured out her mistake!»
But at the next hearing, Emily wasnt smiling. Just serious, focused. Short answers. Still no withdrawal. «Waiting for me to beg,» Oliver guessed. «Not happening.»
Before he knew it, they were divorced. He hadnt even objected. Then came the awkward bit. The judge asked about custody. Emily pounced:
«Tommy stays with me. His fathers never cared. Ask himwhens his sons birthday?»
«Oliver James, when is your sons birthday?» the judge asked, smirking.
Oliver fumbled for the paperworksurely it was written somewhere.
«No peeking!» the judge laughed. Of course, a woman judge. A man wouldnt ask such nonsense.
«Third of June!» Oliver blurted.
«Its today! Tommys birthday is today!» Emily scoffed. «And you dont even remember! Its the sixth of June! Hes seven!»
«Did you even wish him happy birthday on the third?» the judge sneered.
Bloody feminists in power. Oliver stayed silent.
«Any objections to custody arrangements?»
«No!» Oliver snapped.
Naturally, the court sided with Emily. «Probably slap me with child support too,» he thought bitterly. But thenshed crack. Her life was over now! A divorced single mum! Whod want her?
But outside, Emily was chatting with a woman on the courthouse steps.
«Sarah! What are you doing here?»
«Just some paperwork. You?»
«Just got divorced! Free woman now!» And she laughed.
Laughed! Oliver couldnt believe it. Her life had just collapsed, and she was laughing! «Women have no brains! No sane person laughs on a day like this! Shes ruined her life, and shes giggling with a mate? Needs a psych eval!»
He stormed over.
«celebrate later, but I cant today. Its Tommys birthday» Emily was saying when he cut in.
«I thought youd be crying, but you dont even care?!» Oliver exploded. «Youll regret this! Ill sue you! The house! Tommy! Youll see!»
«The house was my grans,» Emily said calmly. «And since when do you care about Tommy? Whats changed?»
«Whats changed?!» Oliver rantedshed destroyed their family, robbed their son of a father, stolen from him, kicked him out, found someone else, doomed herself to die alone with cats.
Long after Emily had left, Oliver kept muttering, «Youll regret this. He stood on the pavement, the weight of the empty beer can crushing in his fist, watching her walk away without a backward glance. The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the courthouse steps, and for the first time, he noticed how light her step washow unburdened. He thought about Tommys laugh, the one he hadnt heard in months, the one he hadnt realised hed missed. His phone buzzedanother reminder from the council about unpaid fines. He didnt answer. The truth settled in slow, cold waves: she wasnt coming back. She wasnt crying. She was free. And he was the only one still trapped.
