Do you mean he actually wants to come back? Mary asked, puzzled by her sons tale. For fifteen years weve been strangers since the divorce.
Its true, Alex Carter replied, searching for the right words. I understand that youthful folly leads many to err, but now theres nothing left to share.
The woman, Mary, frowned. Theres nothing between us now, except you. She added, You and Daisy are grown, with families of your own, free to choose whom to keep in touch with. What does that make me?
Alex tried to explain. Father realised you wouldnt listen, so he asked Daisy and me to intercede. It would have eased our minds if we knew you still lived together and supported each other.
Before Mary could gather her thoughts, her daughters voice rang through the phone, reopening old wounds.
Mother, please understandhes our father and his health is failing, Emma pleaded.
Mary steadied herself. When he was young and vigorous, he never thought of me. Now everything seems to have changed, she said, fighting the tremor in her own voice. Perhaps youve forgotten he abandoned me and you long ago for another woman.
Diane, a close friend, pressed on. He and his new partner split ages ago; it would be sensible for you two to live together now that youre older.
Mary felt a heaviness settle over her after the conversation. She had given everything to the marriage, never daring to rebuild a life after the split for fear of hurting her children, who themselves had struggled with the loss of their parents during their teenage years. Now it seemed they spoke different languages, barely hearing one another. A memory of the day Anthony left resurfaced, making the pain sharper.
I dont love you any longer, he had said then, avoiding her gaze. Ive found another woman and intend to spend the rest of my days with her.
What about us, the children? Mary had asked, her voice shaking.
Youll continue as before, just without me, he replied. The flat is yours. Ill see the children when I can and send what money I can, but my love is gone.
Did you consider how theyd feel when you left at your age? Mary had wondered, unable to accept his indifference.
Theyll manage. Life without love is hard, but forgive me, he had said, ending the conversation.
Anthony kept his word; he never claimed the flat in the settlement and stayed with his new partner. He met the children only on neutral ground, too ashamed to step into the flat, while his new wife never invited them over. Mary once tried to explain the reasons for the divorce to Alex and Emma, but they shied away from the details.
Father told us it was his decision and asked us to respect it, Alex said years later, now a man. Its difficult with Daisy, but eventually it will settle.
For Mary, nothing fell into place. She missed Anthony, wept into her pillow at night, and rejected friends attempts to set her up with another man. He only resurfaced in her thoughts when he called.
Were planning a short holiday, he said once over the phone, and Ive left the fishing gear on the loft. Could I pick it up on Saturday? I asked the children to bring it, but they didnt know where it was.
Alright, come by, Mary replied as calmly as she could.
She spent the days before that Saturday rehearsing the conversation, hoping to show Anthony she could thrive without him, even considering meeting him at the parade of his return, only to abandon the idea as too absurd.
Youve lost weight, she remarked one afternoon as she watched Anthony pack his boxes. Is your new wife not feeding you?
Its fine, Im just busy with work, he answered tersely.
I could cook for you, or send her my recipes, Mary blurted, aware of the foolishness but unable to stop herself.
That sarcasm isnt becoming, Anthony sighed. Were strangers now. Well always share children, perhaps grandchildren, and thats it.
Are you sure? Mary asked, a flicker of hope in her voice.
Yes, he replied firmly.
He left for his new life, and Mary sat alone in the kitchen, tears of selfpity streaming down her cheeks. In the year after the divorce she had dwindled in size, then forced herself to stand upright again. She pretended cheerfulness, yet deep inside clung to the hope that Anthony might return, ready to forgive him and erase the past.
Father and his woman have split, the children told Mary three years later. Hes moved into a room in a boarding house.
The news oddly rekindled a spark of possibility. Mary began dressing more fashionably, tended to her appearance, and waited for any sign from him. Her friends laughed off her obsession, offering only light jokes. Anthony never came back; instead he married another woman. He even attended his sons wedding, though he arrived alone while Daisys sister, Irene, was on a business trip and sent her congratulations.
Time softened Marys perspective. She stopped waiting, found solace in work, bought a cottage out of town, and devoted spare hours to herself. Her children forged their own lives; she filled hers with friends, relatives, flowers, and one day rescued a stray cat and brought it home. Life settled into a quiet rhythm, until a sudden encounter jolted her again.
She saw Anthony at the entrance of the block, returning from his job.
I think we should leave the bad things behind, he said, sipping tea in his kitchen. Most of life is already behind us; the negativity has grown like weeds. Lets spend whats left together and raise grandchildren.
Tell me honestly, why return to our flat rather than stay with any of your other partners? Mary asked, no longer feigning happiness.
My health is failing; Im due to retire next year, he answered openly. Our children are good people; they wont abandon you even in old age.
Do you recall calling us strangers? Mary said, looking into his eyes. I understood that much later, and now I agree completely.
So you wont take me back? he asked.
Dont worry, you said the children would never leave you, Mary replied. You crossed me out of your life years ago; let it stay that way.
Anthony departed, and Mary remained in her favourite armchair, turning off her phone to avoid the inevitable barrage of questions from the children. All she craved now was silence and peace. She had waited for his return for so long that the fire finally burnt out. Had he spoken of growing old together, perhaps she would have taken him back, but his only concern was his own comfort. With her children, friends, cottage, and cat, she felt that was enough.
