Ill tell you how it all went down, just like were chatting over a cuppa. I fell for the bloke Id been eyeing at university I was at Manchester, you know, and he was in my same finance class. It felt like a proper, naïve love at first sight, the sort of thing you read about in old romance novels. When he finally gave me the time of day, I was absolutely bonkers. We both ended up at a marketing firm in London a few years after wed graduated, which wasnt odd at all we had the same specialty, after all. I kept telling myself it was fate.
He seemed like the man Id always dreamed of, and I didnt mind that he was already married. Id never been married myself, so I didnt really grasp what it meant to watch a marriage fall apart. Thats why I felt no shame when James decided to leave his wife for me. Who could have guessed it would hurt so badly? As they say, you cant build your happiness on someone elses misery.
When he chose me, I was on cloud nine and ready to forgive anything. But in everyday life, he wasnt the charming prince everyone thought he was. He left his stuff everywhere in the flat and absolutely refused to wash the dishes. All the housework fell on my shoulders, and at that point I didnt mind a bit.
He quickly brushed off his previous marriage. Theyd never had kids, and it turned out his inlaws had pushed him into that union. With me, he kept promising that things would be different.
My bliss was shortlived, though, because everything changed when I got pregnant. At first James was over the moon about having a baby. We even threw a big family gathering to celebrate, and everyone wished us lots of love and good health for the little one on the way.
That night is still one of my fondest memories, and I dont regret it at all. But from that point on, my blind love started to dim.
The bigger my belly got, the less I saw James. I was on maternity leave, so we only met late at night. He stayed late at the office and kept popping up at afterwork drinks. At first it didnt bother me, but soon it wore me out. The chores got tougher because I could no longer just bend down and pick up his socks scattered around the flat.
I kept wondering if wed rushed into having a child. I knew feelings could fade, but I didnt expect it to happen so quickly. He still brought me flowers and chocolate, yet all I wanted was for him to be there with me.
Soon it became clear his frequent outings werent innocent. A colleague mentioned in passing that a new young employee had joined our department. We were already shortstaffed, and when I went on maternity leave the workload became a nightmare the irony wasnt lost on me.
I wasnt sure it was her, but James definitely had someone else, because he never seemed to have a free minute. It was always work, a meeting, or another corporate event he couldnt miss. One day I found a scrap of paper in his jacket pocket with initials I didnt recognise. I dont know why I put it back and pretended I hadnt seen it.
Being alone in my seventh month was terrifying, and James kept complaining that Id become too nervous. Every argument ended with a sigh of disappointment from him. I realised that if I brought up the issue, Id end up on my own. The fear of losing him was so strong I couldnt think of anything else. They say if you worry too much, it can become a reality.
No matter how smoothly hed courted me, he was no gentleman. The worst thing he ever said to my face was, Im not ready to have a child, and then, Ive got someone else. I cant even remember exactly how he said it, but I felt like I was losing my mind.
I never imagined Id have the courage to ask for a divorce. He didnt expect me to put up with his behaviour, let alone throw all his stuff out the door the next day. I was actually relieved we were renting a flat at least we didnt have to share the place any longer.
What about the baby? How will you raise him? he asked.
Ill manage. I can work from home, and my parents have always offered to help. Mum warned me he was a bit of a philanderer I should have listened.
Responsibility for my future son gave me the confidence I needed. I never wouldve found the strength to leave on my own. I also realised I didnt want to raise a child with a father like that. His betrayal was such a cowardly act that I couldnt bear any more contact with him. It was like a veil lifted from my eyes.
The first few months after the divorce, right up to the birth, were brutal. I moved back in with my parents, which made my grandparents over the moon they were thrilled to have a grandson. I cant say I didnt miss James at all, but I tried not to think about him. Deep down I knew Id made the right choice and that I could give my son everything he needed.
Then, out of nowhere, he turned up again.
Turns out James is full of remorse now and wants to meet his son. But do I want that? Maybe its time to pack up and head to another city, perhaps Manchester again, for a fresh start.
