Ive changed my mind about marrying you. My exboyfriend has proposed; hes more promising, says the bride on her wedding day.
Kevin, we need to talk, Emily stands in the doorway of the grooms suite, stunning in her wedding dress but with a strange, resolute expression.
Kevin lifts his head in surprise. He has just finished fastening his bow tie and is about to step out. Theres only half an hour left before the ceremony.
Emily, whats this? You cant see the groom before the wedding, he smiles. Bad luck, they say.
What luck now she steps forward, shutting the door firmly behind her. The eyes that always looked at him with love now read cold and foreign. I have something to tell you.
Kevin feels a knot tighten inside. Hes known Emily for four years and has learned to read every tone, every glance. He has never seen her look like this.
Whats happened? he asks, though his intuition screams that nothing good will follow.
Emily draws a deep breath, as if ready to plunge into icy water.
Ive changed my mind about marrying you, she says in an even voice. My exboyfriend proposed. Hes more promising.
Kevin stares at her, disbelief flashing through his mind. Outside the hotel window, June sunshine bathes the streets of London. Below, guests are gathering, bridesmaids are laughing, music is playing. In this room his world collapses.
Youre joking? he finally forces out.
No. Im sorry, she lowers her eyes. I know this is a terrible moment, but its better now than to waste a lifetime later.
Wasting a lifetime? Kevin feels anger rise. You were going to suffer with me? All these four years were what? Waiting for something better?
Emily winces as if she has a toothache.
Dont simplify it. It was good with you, truly. But James hes always been special to me. You knew that from the start.
Kevin remembers. They met at a mutual friends birthday party; Emily had just broken up with James Whitfield, a successful entrepreneur who owned a chain of boutique restaurants. Their twoyear romance ended abruptly when James moved to the United States to expand his business, leaving Emily heartbroken.
Kevin spent months gently mending the pieces of her heart, never rushing, never pressuring. He was simply therereliable, understanding, caring. Eventually, Emily seemed to return his feelings, or so he thought.
Did he come back? Kevin asks, trying to collect his thoughts. When?
A month ago, Emily replies quietly. He called while you were on a business trip to Manchester.
And you decided just like that? In a month?
It wasnt simple, she meets his gaze, determination shining. I fought with myself, really. But when he proposed Kevin, you have to understand. Hes launching a restaurant group in Europe. Ill have my own cosmetics line. Its a completely different life.
Kevin watches the woman he called the love of his life that morningbeautiful, smart, ambitiouswho works as a manager in a beauty salon and dreams of her own business. He has supported her, while he himself is a modest engineer with a decent, but unremarkable, salary.
What about our plans? he asks. The house we talked about? Children?
Ill have other plans, Emily steps back toward the door. I have to go. James is waiting downstairs.
Here? Kevin cant believe his ears. Hes showing up on our wedding day?
I asked him to come, Emily grabs the door handle. I didnt want to be alone after this conversation.
What about the guests? My mother travelled from York to be here
Ill explain everything, she interrupts. Ill say its my fault, that its a sudden decision.
It is sudden! Kevin raises his voice. Yesterday you said you loved me! This morning you kissed me and promised happiness!
I was wrong, Emily lowers her eyes. Im sorry it turned out like this.
She closes the door softly behind her.
Kevin stands in the middle of the room, stunned, crushed, unable to grasp whats happening. The clock on the wall reads fifteen minutes until the ceremony. Somewhere below, guests wait, music plays, everything is set for a celebration that will never happen.
He sits on the bed, loosening his bow tie. Fragments of thoughts whirl in his head. Why? How could she? What now? How will he face all those people?
The door opens again, this time without a knock. Ian, his best man and closest friend, steps in.
Kevin, whats going on? Ian looks bewildered. Emily just went through the hall in her wedding dress, crying. She was with some man, they got into a black Mercedes and left. What the
She wont marry me, Kevin says dryly. Her ex returned. Hes more promising, you see.
Ians mouth opens, closes, opens again.
Bloody hell on the wedding day? he finally exhales. Seriously?
More than seriously, Kevin stands, pacing. We have to tell the guests. Cancel everything.
Ill help, Ian places a hand on Kevins shoulder. How are you holding up?
I dont know, Kevin admits honestly. It feels like a nightmare.
Going to the guests is the hardest thing he has ever facedannouncing the wedding is off, enduring sympathetic looks, whispered gossip, endless questions. Emilys parents look as shocked as he does, clearly unaware of her plans. His own mother, who travelled from York, weeps, repeating, How could this happen, love?
That evening, after everyone has left and the paid banquet remains untouched, Kevin sits alone in the suite, staring at a blank wall. His phone buzzes with calls and messagesfrom friends, colleagues, relativesbut he doesnt answer anyone.
Here, Ian, who stayed with him, hands him a glass of whisky. Drink. It might ease it a bit.
Kevin takes the glass in silence, gulping. The alcohol burns his throat but brings no relief.
Do you know whats worst? he says after a long pause. I always felt she wasnt fully mine. That somewhere deep down she kept his image. I told myself it would fade with time.
That happens, Ian says, sitting opposite. First loves, all that. But leaving on the wedding day thats beyond anything.
She always loved grand gestures, Kevin chuckles bitterly. Remember how we met?
At Claires birthday, Ian nods. She was sitting all gloomy in a black dress, grieving a past love.
And I walked over and said?
Perhaps black isnt your colour? Ian finishes. I gave her that silly daisy from a pot.
And she smiled for the first time that night, Kevin closes his eyes, recalling. She said she finally felt life moving forward.
And now shes left you for the same bloke she mourned, Ian shakes his head. Lifes a cruel joker.
The night passes without sleep. Kevin lies on the bed, replaying the last four yearshappy moments, arguments, reconciliations, future plans. Was it all a lie? Or did she truly love him until James appeared?
In the morning he returns to the flat they shared to pack his things. He unlocks the door and immediately feels the emptiness. Emilys favourite trinkets have vanished, photographs are gone, her cosmetics are missing.
On the kitchen table lies an envelope. Inside is a note and the key to the flat.
Kevin, Im sorry for everything. Youre a good man and deserve happiness. I have to go my own way. Ill collect my things later. E
Brief, dry, without explanation or remorse, as if four years can be crossed out with a single slip of paper.
Kevin slowly drops onto the sofa they once chose together, debating colour for months. Emily had insisted on a practical beige; he had wanted a bold blue.
Blue sofas are for bachelors, she had said then. Were a family.
Family the word now burns his mind.
That day he gathers his belongings and moves in with Ian, who offers a spare room until things settle. He takes a few days off workhis manager, understanding the situation, grants him leave. He feels numb, as if friends and family cant reach him.
A week later, his university friend Claire calls.
Kevin, can we meet? I need to talk, she says, her voice tense.
They meet at a small café near Ians flat. Claire looks both embarrassed and determined.
Ive known Emily since university, she begins after a brief hello. I feel awkward stepping in, but you should know something.
About her and James? Kevin says, a bitter smile forming. Thanks, but I dont need details.
Its not about them, Claire says, leaning forward. Its about you. I overheard a conversation between Emily and James before the wedding. They were talking about you.
What did they say? Kevin asks, unsure whether he wants to hear.
James asked why she agreed to marry you, Claire pauses. She replied, Youre reliable, safe, predictable. With you its peaceful, but dull.
Kevin feels a pang in his chest. Dull. The word hits harder than any other wound.
Then James said, But hes just a simple engineer. Whats there to love? And Emily answered, He loves me truly, protects me like a stone wall. James laughed.
Finish it, Kevin says sharply. What happened next?
James said, A stone wall sounds solid, but living behind it feels like being sealed in. And Emily she agreed.
Kevin sits, staring at his cooling coffee. Anger, hurt, shame swirl inside. The biggest sting is that he was, indeed, the reliable, predictable partner she found boring.
Why tell me this? he asks.
Because its not true, Kevin, Claire meets his gaze. Youre not boring. Youre thoughtful, witty, have a great sense of humour. With Emily you just became a shadow, afraid to step out of line, to upset her.
Kevin recalls compromising constantlycancelling trips with friends, adjusting his schedule, giving up mountain hikes because Emily feared for him. He sees now how he faded.
Why didnt you say this earlier? he whispers.
Would you have listened? Claire shakes her head. You adored her like a goddess. She was perfect to you.
Are you saying youre sorry for me? he asks.
No, she replies firmly. Im saying the problem isnt me. Its her endless chase for something flashier, brighter. James is a fireworks displaybright, loud, impressive, then it fizzles out.
After that conversation Kevin feels a shift. He snaps out of his stupor, returns to work, finds a new flat, starts running each morningsomething he stopped because Emily disliked early rises. Gradually the pain dulls. He still wakes up sometimes with a hollow feeling, still catches himself thinking, I should tell Emily, when something good happens. But life moves on.
Three months later he spots her in a department store, standing at a jewellery display, looking at rings. Shes still as striking, confident, radiant.
Hello, he says, walking toward her.
Emily startles, turns, a mix of surprise, embarrassment, something hard to read crossing her face.
Kevin hi, she forces a smile. How are you?
Better than three months ago, he answers honestly. Are you still picking out rings?
She blushes, looks away. Yes, James and I are getting married next month.
Congratulations, he says, genuinely surprised at his own sincerity. I hope it actually happens this time.
Kevin, she bites her lip. I know it hurts. Im really sorry.
No need, he raises a hand, stopping her. Everythings said. I just wanted to say thank you.
What for? she asks, genuinely puzzled.
For leaving, he replies. If you hadnt, Id still be living a life that wasnt mine, losing myself.
She frowns. I dont understand.
It isnt necessary to understand, he smiles lightly. Goodbye, Emily. Be happy.
He walks away, feeling a strange lightness, as if a weight hed carried for years has finally dropped.
Later that day his phone rings. The caller ID shows Emilys number.
Hello? Kevin answers, curiosity replacing anger.
Kevin, can we talk? her voice sounds unsteady.
We talked this morning, he reminds her.
No, I mean seriously. I cant stop thinking about what you saidabout living someone elses life, about losing myself.
Whats there to think about? he shrugs, though she cant see it. I meant exactly what I said.
Were you unhappy with me? her tone carries a hint of hurt.
No, he replies honestly. I was happy, but it was a happiness that required me to give up parts of myselfmy desires, my interests, my principles. I became smaller, quieter, convenient.
A beat of silence passes. Then she asks, Did I lose myself too?
I dont think so, he chuckles. You always knew what you wanted and chased it.
Silence again. Finally she says, Kevin, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I shouldnt have?
Stop, he interrupts. Dont. You made the choice you thought was right, and I accepted it. Theres no going back.
Why? she asks, tears in her voice. If we both made a mistake
Because I no longer want to be the spare tyre, he says firmly. I dont want to be the backup you turn to when you need something brighter, more prosperous.
Youve changed, she observes.
Yes, he agrees. And thats probably the only positive result of our story. Thank you for the call, Emily, but please dont call again.
He hangs up, takes a deep breath. A strange mix of sorrow and relief settles inside. One chapter ends, another begins, and he will decide what it becomes.
Six months later, on a snowy December afternoon, Kevin stands on the viewing platform of a ski resort in the Lake District. He has finally fulfilled his longheld dream of learning to ski. Looking down at the sunsparkling slope, he feels utterly content.
Beautiful, isnt it? a womans voice says nearby.
He turns and sees a girl in a bright blue ski jacket, her brown eyes sparkling with golden flecks.
Very, Kevin replies, smiling. First time here?
Its my third, she removes a glove and offers her hand. Anna.
Kevin, he shakes it. Are you a pro then?
Just a stubborn hobbyist, she laughs. I fall a lot but always get back up. And you?
Novice. Im finally ticking off a dream, he says, eyes on the slope where skiers dart down. You know, we often put things off, thinking someday. Then we realise if we dont act now, it might never happen.
Philosopher, she says, tilting her head. I like people who think about life.
And I like people who can fall and get up again, he replies. Want to tackle this run together? I promise a graceful tumble.
Deal, Anna giggles, her laugh echoing through the snowcovered hills. First one to the café at the bottom buys mulled wine!
She darts down, and he follows, his heart swelling with pure, untainted joy. For the first time in ages he feels completely, unapologetically himself. And that feeling is worth every loss and heartbreak he endured.
Sometimes you have to lose something precious to discover something priceless yourself.
