Emily, why would we need a baby? she said, clasping her hands around a mug of tea. Were fine as we are. A child means sleepless nights, endless diapers, and a body that will never look the same again. Do we really want all that? Lets put it off another six years.
***
Ethan and Emily had been married five years, and at first their life felt like a fairytale. Then Ethan began to steer the conversation toward parenthood, gently nudging Emily toward the idea of a family. She kept putting it off, then one day flatout declared she didnt want to hear the word children at all. Their onceeasy marriage cracked; arguments flared. Desperate, Ethan resorted to the lowblow of emotional blackmail, while Emilys retorts grew sharper each month:
Ethan, whats the point of a bundle of spit and snot? Nights without sleep, openended nappies, a figure that looks more like a cow after calving, and perpetual exhaustion. And thats just the tip of the iceberg! I dont want to bury my youth for that. Lets wait.
To Ethan those words struck like thunder. Before they wed, Emily had dreamed of a bustling household and had assured him:
Of course, love. Well have a lot of childrenat least three! But not right away, okay? Lets settle in first, then well grow the family.
Five years later Emily announced she wasnt ready for children just yet. Ethan, who had always imagined a legacy, pressed:
Emily, weve been together eight years, five of them married. Isnt it time we thought about the next generation? Weve got a flat in London, a car, a decent pension, and weve been tucking away pounds for a babys needs. What are we waiting for?
What makes you think now is the right time? Emily snapped. I have planstravel, courses, a career. A baby doesnt fit into any of that. Were perfectly fine as a pair. Why do we need a third?
What do you mean a third? Are you treating the baby like a stranger? Ethan snapped back, his voice rising. In a normal family there are children. I want to be a father, period! Youve changed your stance overnight.
You think its easy for you to talk about it! Emily erupted. You dont have nine months of nausea, you dont have to fight morning sickness, you dont have to battle the extra weight. Ive spent five years at the gym! All that will be for naught? I wont sacrifice my shape, nor give up my lifestyle! A child would steal five years of friends, shopping, a normal life. Why would I want that?
Everyone goes through it, Ethan pleaded, the child will grow, and youll get back to your hobbies. Ill help every step of the way.
Lets revisit this in five or six years, Emily said, voice trembling. Im not ready now. I dont want to argue. Its my body, and I decide what happens to it. I wont let it go to waste.
At first Ethan tried every gentle tactic. They watched feelgood films about happy families, strolled through parks and playgrounds, even visited Emilys cousin who had just welcomed a fourth baby, hoping the sight would spark something. Emily remained stonecold; she recoiled from the infants skin, the maternal instinct seemingly missing.
When every soft approach failed, Ethan laid his cards on the table:
If you dont want children, were not on the same road. Lets part ways. Youll find someone who shares your outlook, and I wont be left alone.
Fear flashed across Emilys face. Shed never imagined divorce. She worked from home, Ethan helped with the bills, and splitting up meant hunting for a new job and a new flat.
Ethan, wait! she begged. What are you saying? Divorce? Youd give up on us over this?
Its not a joke, Ethan answered, eyes hard. I grew up with a full housebrothers, sisters. A marriage without children feels empty. Were wasting time. You promised before we said I do that you wanted kids. Now youre hiding behind a fear of gaining weight. Its absurd.
But why cant we just enjoy ourselves? Emily shot back. A child is a massive expense. Wed have to give up everything. Youd keep your comforts, but Id have to change my entire lifestyle! Id be stuck at home, sleepless, exhausted. Im not ready for that.
Ill hire a nanny, a housekeeper! Our parents will pitch in! Whats the problem? Ethan shouted. Your heart shows no tenderness for a child! Emily, tell me what you truly want. What future do you see for us?
Emily couldnt admit that children were never part of her plan. She wanted a life of travel, designer bags, and a husband who could fund it. Though she still loved Ethan, money ranked high on her list.
She found no ally. Her aunt, Margaret, marched in one afternoon:
Emily, youre behaving disgracefully! Youve forgotten youre married! Gallivanting around bars while your husband worksstop tarnishing our familys name!
What am I doing wrong? Emily protested. Ethan knows where I go. Its not every day Im out. Weekends Im home, trapped. Give me some advice, not criticism. We keep fighting over this child. He wants one, I dont. Why now? Could you talk to him? He respects you, maybe hell listen.
I wont speak to him, Margaret snapped. Hes right. Its high time you had a baby. Then youll have a proper head on your shoulders.
Emily refused to yield. It was her body, after all. To distract Ethan, she pretended to agree, then theatrically tossed a packet of baby wipes on the table:
Fine, Ethan, Ill have a babyon one condition. A nanny will raise him, and Ill continue my life as before.
Ethan believed her. Meanwhile Emily secretly took contraceptive pills, and, to keep Ethans suspicion at bay, she escorted him to a familiar doctor who shrugged and urged patience:
No problem. Just relax. Forget about the baby for a while. Ive seen many couples who, after years of infertility, simply let things happen naturally.
Six months later the unexpected happened: a home pregnancy test flashed two lines. Emily froze. What now? Abort? Throw away the life shed built?
Ethan walked into the bathroom unannounced. Emily tried to hide the test, but it was too late.
Whats that? he asked, stepping closer.
Emily stared at the floor. Ethan snatched the test from her hand.
Emily! Are you pregnant? Oh my God, Im going to be a father! He lifted her into his arms, spinning her around the tiled room. Thank you, love! This is the happiest day of my life!
Emily forced a smile, her mind a chaotic swirl. What now? How to navigate this new reality?
They celebrated at a restaurant later. A new gold band glittered on Emilys finger. Ethan, in a crisp suit, beamed across the table, repeating:
Well be the best parents ever! I promise youll never want for anything! Thank you, darling!
That night Emily lay awake, Ethans joyful face haunting her thoughts.
Maybe a child could actually improve our lives, she mused. Maybe Im just scared of change. I could still keep fit, keep my routineswomen manage, after all. And its his child For the first time in years her heart fluttered with an unfamiliar feeling. Perhaps she had finally made the right choice.
***
Nine months sped by. Ethan fussed over Emily, granting every whim. They chose the maternity ward together, attended parenting classes, and he shuttled her to every appointment. Emily tried to lean on his support, yet the dread of labour and motherhood lingered.
When the due date arrived, Emily delivered a healthy baby boy. As the midwife placed him on her chest, she saw his tiny, wrinkled faceuncannily reminiscent of Ethans. He let out a soft, surprised wail. In that instant every fear dissolved.
My, Emily whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.
They named him Samuel. From the first breath, Emily melted into motherhood. She nursed, sang lullabies, strolled with him in HydePark. She even felt a pang of jealousy when Ethan lifted Samuel in his arms. Emily began to understand what shed been afraid of wasnt motherhood at all, but the loss of control. Now, she found joy in the rhythm of itthe early feedings, the quiet midnight cuddles, the way Samuel smiled only for her. She still traveled when she could, still cared for herself, but her heart had expanded in ways she hadnt thought possible. And when she looked at Samuel, she saw not the end of her life, but the beginning of a deeper one.
