12November
The shrill cry of my brothers infant ripped me out of the halfsleep that had settled over the narrow guestroom. I pulled myself up on my elbows, ears straining against the thin plaster wall. For the past fortnight Id been staying at Maxs flat in Manchester while I hunted for a job and a place of my own. The move had been a hard sell, but there was no point looking for prospects back in my hometown; everything there seemed deadended.
A wail cut through the flat. Fourmonthold Tommy had awakened amid the argument between his parents. I grimaced, slipped the bathrobe tighter, and shuffled to the kitchen. Laura, Maxs wife, called out from the hallway, Ive got an interview.
An interview? Max shouted, his voice rising. Are you out of your mind? Youve got a newborn! What kind of work could you possibly be thinking about? Your place is at home with the baby!
I waited for Lauras reply, but the flat fell silent, save for Tommys continued sobbing. The front door slammed shut with a harsh clickLaura had left.
I slipped out of the bedroom, my feet finding the kitchen floor. Max stood in the middle of the room, awkwardly rocking the wailing infant. Anger and helplessness warred across his face.
This is how it always goes, he muttered as he saw me. She abandons the child and runs off to chase her own ambitions.
Without a word, I lifted Tommy from Maxs arms. The little boy soon buried his face against my shoulder, calming a little. Max sank heavily onto a chair, his hands rubbing his temples.
Lauras lost it completely, he continued, staring into nothing. How can she leave a tiny thing like that and think about a job? At least my annual leave started, so I can look after Tommy for a while.
I rocked the baby gently, considering his words. Max, perhaps you should talk to Lauracalmly, without yelling, I suggested softly. She might be dealing with postnatal depression; a lot of women suffer from it. She may need professional help.
He waved me off as if Id been a fly. Depression? No, Lauras always been a free spirit, a careerchaser. I hoped motherhood would change her, make her a proper mum, but she shows no signs of shifting. She couldnt care less about the child!
I wanted to argue, but stayed silent. Tommy finally drifted off, and I placed him gently in his cot.
Laura returned only in the evening. As I was tucking Tommy in, the lock clicked and she passed the nursery without looking inside. I stepped into the hallway and saw her standing at the kitchen table, silently preparing her own dinner. Max sat in the living room, eyes fixed on the telly, refusing to speak to her.
The atmosphere in the flat grew unbearable. I fled to my room and dialed Mum.
Mum, you wouldnt believe whats happening here, I whispered, recounting the days chaos.
Mum sighed heavily on the other end. Yes, love, Lauras been like that since the baby arrived. Max has complained to me a few times. It seems the maternal instinct never woke in her. My poor boy, he must be struggling. I cant imagine how it feels for the child to have a living motherhe senses everything.
I lay in bed for hours, bewildered. I remembered Laura before she was pregnantsweet, caring, always ready to help. Max was head over heels for her. Now, the coldness she showed toward her own child and toward Max was incomprehensible.
Laura was often away from home, vanishing from dawn till dusk, leaving Max alone with the infant. He took Tommy to the shop, on walks, trying to juggle the baby with the chores. I helped where I could, but I knew this could not go on forever.
A week later Laura came back with a sparkle in her eye, the first genuine smile Id seen on her since the birth.
Ive got a job, she announced at dinner.
Max froze midspoon, his face turning a shade of red. Are you kidding me? he snarled. Youve got a fourmonthold! Youre supposed to look after him, not be hopping from office to office!
Lauras reply was icy. This is my life.
Max leapt from his seat. Youre selfish! You only think of yourself! Thats wrong! Youre a mother; your place is beside the child!
Laura withdrew, a wall seeming to rise around her, and slipped away to the bedroom. We never saw her again that night.
The next day Max and I took Tommy for a stroll in the park. Max pushed the pram, muttering grievances.
See how she treats him? Our own son, and she doesnt give a toss. She never picks him up, never kisses, never hugs. What kind of mother is that? Not a mother at alljust a cuckoo!
I fell silent, helpless to answer. I felt sorry for Max, yet something inside whispered that the story was more tangled than it appeared.
We returned home a couple of hours later. The flat was oppressively quiet. I flicked on the hall light. Laura? Are you home? I called.
Silence. I walked through the roomsempty kitchen, barren living room. Max entered, Tommy in his arms, and headed to the bedroom. I heard Max gasp sharply, and rushed to him.
He stood before the open wardrobe, half the shelves empty. Lauras belongings were gone.
Shes left Max breathed, his voice hoarse.
He collapsed onto the bed, still cradling the baby, shoulders trembling. Ungrateful! After everything I gave herflat, love, marriage, a child! And she just walks out!
I sat beside him, trying to steady his shaking. Max, what could have driven her to do that? Tell me honestly what went on between you two.
He lifted his eyes, red and swollen. After a long pause he said, The pregnancy was a mistake. Laura didnt want a child. She kept saying she wasnt ready, that she wanted to build her career first. I pushed, said we were already in our thirties, it was time to settle down, have a family. She agreed, but after the birth she never loved him. I hoped motherhood would spark something, that shed bond with the baby, but she just drifted further away.
The picture Id built in my mind shattered. Id thought Laura was merely difficult, capricious. The truth was far harshershed been coerced into motherhood she never wanted.
Max I could only manage a shaky whisper.
Maxs leave ran out a few days later. He returned to work, effectively dumping the care of Tommy onto me. I didnt protestthe nephew was blameless for his parents fallout.
A week passed. One morning Max barged in, waving papers.
Shes filing for divorce! he shouted. And she wants to give up her parental rights! She said over the phone, If I wanted the child, I should look after him myself! I have a job, a flatI can manage. She doesnt need any of this!
I rocked Tommy in silence, absorbing his brothers tirade. With each passing day I understood Laura a little more.
The following week I was alone with the baby for most of the time. Max came home exhausted, ate, and collapsed onto the bed. Weekends he either slept or sat glued to the television. All other duties fell on me. I began to see why Laura had fled. Max did nothing around the house, offered no help, only demanded.
Then, finally, good news came my way. Id secured a job. I found a modest onebedroom flat not far from the office. It was time to move out of that house. Max, however, reacted badly.
Youre abandoning us too! What about Tommy? Who will look after him? How can you just walk away?
I met his accusation with calm. I repeated Lauras words to him: You wanted the child, Max. Take responsibility yourself. Stop passing it onto others.
Now, standing in my new flat, arranging my possessions, the silence feels like a balm after weeks of infant cries and my brothers endless complaints. I pulled out an old photograph from a boxa picture of Max and me as boys, grinning wildly. My finger traced the faces as I thought about how even those we idolise can betray us. The brother I revered turned out to be selfish, breaking a womans life. Laura, long vilified, was simply protecting herself.
I placed the photo on a shelf and turned away. A new chapter lies ahead, my own life to build.
Lesson:Family loyalty should never excuse neglect or selfishness; caring for others begins with respecting their choices, and sometimes the hardest thing to do is to step away and look after yourself.
