Dont meddle, thats my life, I heard Ethel snap, her voice edged with frustration. Youre living off the state while Im picking through holes! Youre supposed to be a grandmother and a mothercould you ever actually help?
The absurdity was that at that very moment Ethel was sitting at my motherinlaws kitchen table, a guest at Valeries house. Valerie, ever efficient, had thrown together a decent spread: crusty bread with sliced ham, thick cheese, smoked salmon, and fresh rolls from the bakery down the road. A bowl of fruitgrapes, pomegranate, mandarinssat beside them. No exotic pineappletopped berries, but it was a respectable offering.
Our little grandson, Charlie, was glued to the television in his new onesie, the one Id bought for him a few days earlier.
Ethel, dont ruin the mood, Valerie said irritably. Im the one who puts shoes on your son, dresses him, drives him to preschool, buys his medicine. He lives entirely on me. And you still want more?
Because its your grandson. Who else would it be? Tom and I cant even figure out where the next pound is coming from. Were juggling loans, the mortgage, council tax, the nursery after all that, theres barely enough for bread and beans.
Im not the one who took out the loans, Valerie shot back. Or forced you to have children. Did I make you sell the flat? You told me not to interfere, so I stayed out of it. Now you expect me to pick up the tab?
Mother! Ethel fumed. Look at how were living! I cant even do my own manicure because Ive run out of polish. My boots are falling apart, and if I step in a puddle my feet stay soaked all day. I end up sick. Tom has only one decent shirt left. Were barely surviving, not living. And you think you can raise me now? Its easy for you, you eat smoked salmon for breakfast every day!
Valerie listened, lips pressed together. She knew Ethel was right in many ways. Shed loved her daughter a little too fiercely. Money wouldnt fix this; consequences would.
Ethel, havent I given you enough in life? she said, narrowing her eyes. You had everything. You wanted a smartphone when everyone still used button phonesyou got it. You asked for a mink coatwe bought it. I gave you a home. Youre not a child any more; you have to fend for yourself.
Ethel puffed up in hurt and turned away, just like when she was a little girl and we couldnt buy the next toy because the house was full.
Valerie remembered young Ethel racing around in a new tracksuit covered in sequins, her bedroom boasting a brandnew computer and a box with a cameraa New Years gift. Ethels whims changed faster than the pounds exchange rate. One day she wanted to be a photographer, the next a hairdresser, then an actress. Valerie could barely keep up, opening her wallet and signing her up for extra lessons.
My husband always said, Let the girl enjoy herself. You only have one childhood, Peter would laugh.
Peter, a retired army sergeant and one of the most respected men in town, earned enough that the family never wanted for anything. Valerie also worked, but more for the joy of it. She could have stayed at home, yet she preferred to be active in the community.
I want to try felting wool! Ethel announced one evening after watching a YouTube tutorial.
Valerie took her to a craft shop, gave her a basket, and within half an hour it was brimming with yarn and needles. Other parents might have handed over a couple of skeins and the cheapest needles, but Valerie believed passionately that her daughters development was sacrosanct. They could afford it, so why not?
Ethel would throw herself into each new hobby with gusto, then abandon it weeks later for something else. Valerie found it puzzling but trusted that Ethel was simply testing herself. Ethel grew accustomed to getting everything at the click of a button.
When Peter died, Valerie was left alone. Grief lingered, but she knew the financial ground beneath them was solid. Peter had left a tidy estate; the interest from the savings could have sustained them comfortably, yet Valerie kept working until her health began to fail.
Ethels conscience was clear. She funded her own education in Manchester, bought a onebedroom flat in a new development, and oversaw a thorough refurbishment. With that done, Valerie declared shed checked all the boxes of a good mother. Ive given her everything she needs to start. Ill help while she studies, then shell stand on her own, she decided firmly.
But things didnt go as planned.
Ethel had just entered her second year when she announced shed got a boyfriend. Tom also had an iPhone, though not the latest model, and his family was similarly welloff. Both of them wore smug smiles, completely out of touch with everyday chores.
Ethel, finish your studies first, Valerie urged after Ethel introduced her to the boyfriend, Dan. If you want to live together, fine, but dont rush. Secure a career, get on your feet, then think about family.
Mother, dont interfere, Ethel replied, frowning. This is my life.
Valerie kept her distance, yet life unfolded far from Ethels expectations.
At first it was idyllic. They lived together in Ethels flat. Valerie paid the council tax and handed over pocket money for food and clothes. The young couples only job was to enjoy lifebingewatch series and wander the streets until dawn.
Dan soon dropped out of university, declaring he saw no point in it.
I enrolled because my parents wanted me to, he said. Now its just a waste of time. I wont follow that path.
Then Ethel quit her course. It wasnt for a lofty reason; it was for something else entirely.
Mother, Im pregnant, she said one afternoon over the phone. Dan and I have decided. Ill probably take a short break from work, then well see what comes next.
Ethel Valerie sighed, covering her face with her hand before holding back. Fine, if youve decided, go ahead.
Will you help us? Ethel asked, hope trembling in her voice.
Ill help the grandson. Youre both adults now. Youve got more than I ever had at your age. Manage yourselves, Valerie replied, though her heart clenched.
A heavy silence followed.
Right thats that.
Ethel hung up.
The next weeks were a blur of tantrums, manipulations, and careful probing. Ethel complained about a broken fridge, a wornout parka, low iron levels from poor diet. Valeries only response was to the last complaintshe offered extra iron supplements, citing pregnancy.
Little Charlie shouldnt suffer because his parents are fools, she muttered, hauling bags of groceries.
Then Ethel dropped another bombshell.
Weve decided to sell the flat and get a twobedroom house.
Ethel dear think it through. The baby will still be with you.
No, Mum. Weve decided. We want a proper wedding, a honeymoon, everything proper.
Valerie clenched her teeth but didnt intervene.
Money slipped through their fingers: a wedding with a banquet and photographer, the latest iPhones, laptops, a holiday in Turkey, a downpayment on a mortgage. The young couple even took out loans. Mortgage payments ballooned, credit cards multiplied, and soon Ethel was lamenting that shed run out of cash before the months end.
Valerie continued to provide for baby Charlieformula, puree, nappies. Hed been living with her for the past six months.
Dan got a job as a camera operator and also does courier work. Ill try remote work too, well pull through. Can you look after Charlie for a while? Ethel asked.
Valerie agreed, but only to a point. She could give the child everything, but for the adults she could only offer advice, which they were unlikely to heed.
Ethel stared out the window, then turned to her mother.
If you dont help, Ill take Charlie away, she threatened. And youll never see him again.
Valerie laughed, though anxiety gnawed at her.
Fine. Lets see how quickly you get fired and what youll live on. Do you even have money for nursery fees, dear?
Ethels face flushed, her breathing grew loud, but she could say nothing. In a few days shed have to return, hand out another payment.
You had everything. Im not to blame for the mess youve made of it, Valerie continued. And you want to drag both Charlie and me down with you? No. Youre adultsfigure it out yourselves.
Ethel left her sandwiches untouched, rose, grabbed her coat, and walked out. Valerie didnt try to stop her.
When the door shut, Valerie slipped into the living room. Charlie slept on the sofa, clutching his plush owl pillow. She turned off the TV so he wouldnt wake. For his sake Id move mountains, she thought, but for the two of them let life be the teacher.
