Youll disappear, and hell think of me straight away, I muttered, halfjoking, halfpleading. So do it the proper way, or else what are you pointing at?
What does any girl expect when shes taken to the pictures by a suitor? It truly depends on how far shes willing to stretch the bounds of propriety.
Some are bold enough not just to invite their date back after the film, but to turn the back rows of the cinema into a private playground for reckless flirtation. Others are more modest, preferring the classic routine: a film, a gentle handinhand, and a proper goodbye at her doorstep.
Either way, the simple fact that Emily Hart agreed to go to the cinema at James Whitakers invitation meant she was, at least in appearance, his girl. The seat beside him had been vacant until then, so there was no reason for a scene like the one that had unfolded with Charlotte at the picture house, where a jealous stranger swooped in, grabbed his arm and shrieked, James, whos that? Why are you holding her hand? Ive been losing sleep, worrying youve disappeared, and you
Any sensible girl would have flushed and slipped away. At most she might have shouted, You fool! Youve been seeing two at once! while hurling the fresh bouquet shed just received, and stormed out to the street, heels clacking.
Charlotte belonged to that daring ilk, but she never got the chance to react. James, scowling, snarled at the newcomer, I told you to leave. If you think its over between us, youre wrongso lets go, Emily.
Emily, still trembling, heard none of the further abuse; James seized her arm and hustled her toward the right auditorium. To her, the matter seemed settled. He wasnt seeing the other woman; she had dumped himso it seemed. At least, thats what James claimed.
Emily chose to postpone the conversation until after the film. There was no point in airing grievances in front of a full house. Besides, James had bought the tickets, so they ought to enjoy the picture rather than interrogate each other about strangers lurking in his past.
When the credits rolled and they stepped out onto the lamplit street toward the park that led to Emilys flat block, the subject slipped in naturally.
I hope you havent taken the whole thing the wrong way, James said apologetically. Im not a collector of lunatics; my friends and family are sound. This one lady just slipped in.
Emily knew that talk of a crazy circle hit a sore spot; her previous relationship had crumbled because the boyfriends sister and mother never approved. So James made a point of reassuring her that nothing of the sort threatened their budding bond.
What actually happened? Emily asked, curiosity overtaking any lingering embarrassment.
We were seeing each other, I thought, James replied. You know, the kind of thing where we stroll together, hold hands, share a kiss, and in public shed sit on my lap and call me sweetheart or kitty.
Makes sense, Emily admitted.
And you know what else makes sense? James continued. If a girl summons you to fix her computer, then tells you the machines gone with her brother to the countryside, but offers a DVD to watch together, youre looking at a setup for something more intimate.
Someone still uses DVDs? Emily laughed, then refocused. If a girl invites you under a flimsy pretext and then tries to keep you at her place when no one else is home, Id suspect shes after a cup of tea and a film, if you catch my drift.
Add a sheer nightgown, fishnet stockings, heartshaped candlesabout ten of themsome wine, nibbles, and a film rated Eighteenplus, where everyone loves each other and the ending is happy, James added, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Emily saw the wind change direction instantly. Then youd dash to the chemist for a condom and get on with it, she said dryly.
Exactly my thought, James agreed. I sat on the sofa, the mood was right, she landed beside me, I pulled her close, gave her a kiss He paused, eyes widening. I tried to slip my hand under the nightgown andbam! She slapped me hard across the face and yelled, What are you doing? Im not like that!
Emily shrugged. Id have walked away from that lunatic.
And thats what I did, James said. I put my shoes back on, heard her say it was over, and left.
The next morning, a message pinged on his phone. She called me as if nothing happened, asked why Id stopped writing, said wed been fine.
What about you? Emily pressed.
I ignored her. Why would I deal with a madwoman? There was no reason to stay around her, hoping for a better catch later.
Right. And now shes trailing after you, hoping for what?
According to her insults, she expected me to chase after her, to shower her with gifts, to wait for her royal approval.
Hardly a gentlemans game, Emily mused. In todays world, harassing someone is a punishable offense; you cant just chase after a no.
Both agreed that any further dalliance would be ruled out. If a yes meant yes, a no meant nono coaxing, no pressure.
Emilys former boyfriend, in her eyes, was simply a madman, a nightmare shed rather forgetif it had been a oneoff affair.
Later, as Emily was walking home from university, a familiar voice called out, Emily, isnt it?
It was Susan Clarke, a girl shed barely known at college.
Hold on, we need to speak. You behaved poorly, you know? He was taken, and you snatched him away.
The lad told me hes single, Susan, and youve told him to stay away a hundred times.
Youre right, who cares what they say. Youll disappear, and hell think of me. So, do it properly, orwhat are you poking me with?
Look, thats my father you see, James interjected, flashing his policecaptain insignia. Hes the cheapest way to make the nuisance go away.
They could have proven that James had no interest in Susan, that Emilys presence in his life wouldnt affect their own, even to the point of a brawl. But that would have brought trouble on Emily herself, and no coach would have approved.
What Susan finally did worked like a charm. She pretended to be shocked at a photograph, muttered some curses under her breath, and fled. James stopped being harassed from anonymous accounts, a fact he happily relayed to Emily a week later.
Emily, in turn, told Susan about the whole stunt, just so James would know the whole story, without receiving any moral judgment.
Someone like her just doesnt get it, James sighed. If Id known, Id have stayed away, but she seemed decent enough at first glance.
Emily agreed; Susan had seemed an ordinary girl until she opened her mouth. By then, it mattered little how many loose screws Susan had; the important thing was that she had finally vanished from Emily and Jamess lives, hopefully for good.
Perhaps shed found a suitable chaser, or perhaps Emily herself would meet a proper gentlemanmaybe a charming, kitchenbattleready fellow.
After all, every creature deserves a match, so that they leave decent folk alone. A fine notion, isnt it?
