I recall it as if it were a tale from my youth, the kind we whisper over a pint when the fires low. Poppy had been invited by Charlie to the cinema on Oxford Street, and the very fact that shed gone meant, in those days, that she was, at least in the eyes of her friends, his girl. The invitation itself was enough proof that the spot beside him had been vacant for a while.
Now, what a young woman expects from an evening out with a beau can vary wildly. Some girls are bold enough to think, after the film, theyll slip off to the back rows and let the night take them wherever it may. Others are more demure, preferring the safer ritual of holding hands in the dark, sharing a few whispered jokes, and then being escorted home to a proper goodnight at her doorstep.
Whatever the case, the simple act of walking together to the picture house already placed Poppy in a sort of unofficial relationship. She hoped, of course, not to repeat the awkward scene that had befallen her friend, when, in the lobby, an unknown girl swooped in, seized his arm and, voice trembling with jealousy, asked, Charlie, whos that youre holding? Ive been worrying all night, wondering where youve disappeared to Any sensible girl would have blushed and fled, perhaps hurling a scandalous remark about doubledating and stalkers before stepping out in her heels.
Poppy fell into the more adventurous camp, but she never got the chance to act on it. Charlie, his brow knotted, snapped at the interloper, I told you to go away. If you think were over, then stop chasing me. Poppy, lets be off. He snatched her by the elbow and ushered her toward the correct auditorium, his tone suggesting the matter was settled. He wasnt seeing that other girl again at least thats what he claimed.
She decided to postpone any confrontation until after the film, not wanting to cause a scene in front of half a dozen strangers. After all, Charlie had paid for the tickets, and the night was meant for watching, not interrogating. When the curtain fell and they stepped out onto the lamplit street, heading toward the park near Poppys flat in Camden, the subject slipped out anyway.
I hope you didnt take anything the wrong way, Charlie said apologetically. I dont usually collect lunatics; my friends and family are all decent. This one just turned up out of the blue. For Poppy, the idea of a crazy circle was a sore spother previous boyfriend had been dumped because his mother and sister wouldnt accept the girl.
What actually happened? she asked, curiosity finally getting the better of her.
We were dating, or so I thought, Charlie replied. You know, the sort of thing where we walk arminarm, kiss, and she sits on my knee in a crowd, calling me sweetheart and kitten?
Makes sense, Poppy said.
And you know what else makes sense? he continued. If a girl invites you over to fix her computer, but when you get there she tells you the PCs been taken to the country by her brother, and then offers you a DVD to watch instead.
Someone still uses DVDs? Poppy laughed, then steadied herself. If a girl lures you to her flat under some flimsy pretext and theres nobody else home, you can safely assume she wants you to stay for a cuppa and a film, right?
He nodded, adding detail. Picture this: a sheer nightgown, fishnet stockings, heartshaped candlesmaybe ten of them a bottle of red, some cheese, and a film thats clearly rated 18+.
Poppy saw straightaway where the night was heading. So Id have to dash to the chemist for condoms and then?
Exactly what I thought, Charlie said. I plopped onto the sofa, the mood was set, she landed beside me, I wrapped an arm around her, started kissing I reached for her nightgown, and the next thing I knew she was screaming at me, What are you doing? Im not like that!
Poppy shook her head. Id have walked out the door the instant I heard that shriek.
Its what I did, Charlie admitted, I slipped on my shoes, heard her say it was over, and left.
The next day he texted her. She called me as if nothing had happened, asked why Id stopped writing, said wed been fine. Poppy replied, Im ignoring her. Why would I waste my time on someone whos already moved on?
He explained that she kept sending abusive messages, hoping hed keep buying her gifts and waiting for some grand gesture. Im not a fool, he said. I can find a girl without all that drama. In this day and age, chasing after a yes that isnt there is pointlessanyone who forces that is courting trouble under the law.
Poppy and Charlie agreed that no wild antics would be tolerated. If one said yes, it meant yes; if one said no, it meant nono need for any coaxing. Their former lover, a woman named Helen, dismissed Charlie as unstable and tried to forget the episode like a bad dream, but that would only work if it had been a oneoff.
One evening, as Poppy was walking home from university, a familiar voice called out, Hey, Poppy, isnt it? It was Helen, her cheeks flushed.
Youve done a terrible thing, Helen accused. The lad was taken, and youve snatched him away.
The lad told me he was free, Helen, Poppy replied coolly. Hes told you to stay out of his life more than once.
Helen glared. Youll disappear, and hell think of me.
Charlie, who had been strolling nearby in his police captains uniformhis fathers old coat, mind youintervened. He flashed his badge, the cheapest way to shoo away a persistent pest. He could have proved beyond doubt that Poppy meant nothing to the officers life, or even started a fight, but that would have only landed Poppy in trouble.
What Helen did work perfectly. The sight of the captains photograph made her wilt, muttering curses under her breath before slipping away. Charlie stopped receiving her messages from dubious accounts, which he told Poppy about a week later.
She recounted the whole episode to a friend, just so Charlie knew the full story, but she faced no condemnation for her tactics. People like her get what they deserve, Charlie muttered. If Id known, Id never have gotten involved, but it happened.
In the end, Poppy and Charlie moved on. Helen faded from their lives, and perhaps she found a new chaser or, more likely, settled for someone less demandinga proper English chap with a steady job and a decent moustache. After all, every creature needs a counterpart, so that the rest of us can live in peace. And that, I think, is a fairly decent moral to carry forward.
