**Diary Entry 12th May**
«Your mother doesn’t live here anymore,» James said, meeting me at the door with my luggage in hand.
Emily froze on the threshold, gripping the suitcase handle. A draught swept through the hallwaythe front door was wide open, and the light was on in her mothers usual room.
«What do you mean, doesnt live here?» Her voice wavered. «I was only away for three days. Where could she have gone?»
James shrugged and stepped aside to let her in. He was unnervingly calm, almost indifferent.
«I took her to Aunt Margarets. She agreed to look after your mum for a while.»
«For a while?» Emily kicked off her heels. «What sort of while? And why did you decide this without me?»
«Because I cant do it anymore.» He met her eyes squarely. «I cant, and I wont. Three years weve lived like this, Em. Three years. Ive had enough.»
Emily marched into the kitchen, dropped her bag on the table. Her hands shookfrom exhaustion, shock, the anger bubbling inside. She opened the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water, and took a long drink.
«Let me get this straightyou threw my mother out while I was gone?» she asked, forcing steadiness into her voice.
«I didnt throw her out. I moved her. With all her things, with respect,» James said, leaning against the doorframe. «And you know it was the right call. Shes your mother, but our marriage matters more.»
Emily shook her head. It was astonishing how quickly someone could upend everything. That morning, shed left for her business trip certain home would be unchanged. Now, shed returned to a different reality.
«I need to speak to Mum,» she said, pulling out her phone.
«Its too late,» James countered. «Nearly eleven. Talk tomorrow.»
«Im going to Aunt Margarets now.»
«Youre not,» he said firmly. «Youre straight off the train, dead on your feet. Well sleep, and sort this in the morning.»
Emily dialled her mothers number, but the phone was off. She tried Aunt Margaretno answer. James watched silently as she gave up, slamming her mobile onto the table.
«What did you say to her?»
«The truth. That we cant live like this anymore. That our marriage is falling apart. That one of us had to leaveher or me.»
«You gave her an ultimatum?»
«Shouldnt I have?» James ran a hand through his hair. «Em, weve talked about this a hundred times. I cant keep doing this. I want *us* backjust you and me. No more rows, no more resentment.»
Emily sank into a chair, covering her face. Yes, theyd talked. But she never thought hed act. Shed assumed things would somehow settle on their own.
«How did she take it?» she asked quietly.
«Better than I expected. Said she saw it coming. Packed in an hour. Didnt even cry.»
Emily smiled bitterly. That sounded like Mumproud, unyielding, a woman whod weathered life alone. She wouldnt make a scene, even if her heart was breaking.
«I need to see her.»
«Tomorrow,» James repeated. «Right nowshower, then bed. Youre swaying on your feet.»
She obeyed. Under the hot water, she tried to make sense of it. Mum had moved in after her stroke. The doctors said she needed constant care. Leaving her alone wasnt an option, so Emily brought her homeno hesitation, because it was the right thing.
At first, James hadnt objected. Family duty was sacred. But months passed, and Margarets recovery was slow. She grew irritable, nitpicking. Silent for hours, then lashing outespecially at James.
«Not a proper man, that one,» shed mutter when he left for work. «Cant even change a fuse, cant provide properly. Youll come to ruin with him.»
Emily defended him. Explained that times had changed, that James was an IT consultant, that they had a house, a car, holidays abroad.
«Your father would never»
«Dads gone, Mum,» Emily would snap.
James bit his tongue, but the tension thickened. He worked late, skipped dinners, locked himself in the bedroom when home. Their marriageonce warm, closebecame two strangers sharing a house.
And now this. James had made the choice while she was away. Mum was gone. A decision made without her.
She slipped into bed. James pretended to read, but his jaw was tight.
«I get it,» she said. «But you shouldnt have done it behind my back.»
«I waited three years for you to decide,» he said, setting the book aside. «Three years of suggesting optionsa carer, a nice care home. We can afford proper help. But you wouldnt listen.»
«Shes my *mother*. She raised me alone, worked two jobs so I could have piano lessons, good schools. I cant just hand her off to strangers!»
«And what am I?» James asked softly. «A stranger too?»
Emily didnt answer. The room was silent except for the clock. James turned off the lamp, his back to her. She stared at the ceiling, her heart pounding.
Morning came with a call. Aunt Margaret said Mum was fine, not to worry.
«Dont come today,» she said. «Your mother needs time to settle.»
Emily didnt believe it. Mum always wanted her nearbyringing if she was five minutes late from the shops.
«Im coming,» Emily said, hanging up.
James sipped his coffee, pretending not to eavesdrop. The kitchen was eerily quietno clattering dishes, no complaints about the tea being weak.
«I took the day off,» he said, standing. «We need to talk. Properly.»
Emily nodded. They did.
«Ill see Mum first,» she said. «Then well talk.»
Aunt Margaret lived across town, in a walk-up flat with peeling wallpaper. As Emily climbed the stairs, she wondered how Mum would manage themshe still walked slowly, with a cane.
Aunt Margareta stout woman with dyed red hairanswered the door. A distant cousin they rarely saw.
«Come in,» she said, stepping aside. «Your mums in the kitchen.»
The flat was cramped, the kitchen barely fitting two chairs.
Margaret sat by the window, spine straight. She didnt turn.
«Mum.»
«You came,» she said coolly. «Thought your husband might forbid it.»
«How could you think that? Of course I came.»
«Whats done is done,» Margaret said, finally facing her. Her voice was steady, but her hands trembled around her teacup. «Hes shown whos master here. Always thought him weak. Turns out, hes a tyrant.»
Emily sighed. No shades of grey with Mumjust black or white.
«Hes not a tyrant. We were all struggling.»
«*I* was struggling!» Margarets composure cracked. «Being ill, depending on others, hearing how Im a burden? You think I didnt notice how he looked at me?»
«Mum»
«Dont pity me,» she cut in. «I didnt raise you for that. You chose himlive with him. Ill manage.»
Aunt Margaret tactfully left. Emily studied her mothergrey-haired but still striking, chin high. Unbending, always.
«I could rent you a flat near us,» she offered. «Hire a carer»
«No,» Margaret said firmly. «Ill stay here awhile. Then go home.»
«The doctors said»
«Doctors talk rubbish.» Her grip tightened on the cup. «Ill exercise, mind my blood pressure. Learn to live again.»
Emily recognised the tone. No arguing once Mum had decided. Pride was her strengthand her curse.
An hour later, as Emily left, Margaret grabbed her wrist.
«I wanted you happy,» she said softly. «Maybe hes right. Maybe youre better off without me.»
Emily hugged her, breathing in the familiar scent of lavender and rosehome, safety.
«I love you,» she whispered. «Ill always be here.»
Margaret nodded, pulling away. The moment passed; the steel returned.
«Go,» she said. «Dont keep him waiting.»
Outside, Emily gulped the crisp air, guilt and grief clawing at her. James was rightthis was better. But her heart ached at the thought of Mum feeling discarded.
At home, James had laid the table, made her favourite shepherds pie. They sat opposite each other, like old times.
«How is she?»
«Being brave,» Emily said.
James nodded. He knew his mother-in-lawiron-willed, never showing weakness.
«Em, I know youre angry,» he said. «But I saw no other way. We were destroying each other. Your mum was miserable with me. I was miserable with her. And you were torn apart trying to please us both.»
Emily stayed silent. The truth in his words stung.
«Heres my offer,» he went on. «Well rent her a nice flatsomewhere modern, with a lift. Hire a daily carer for meals, cleaning. Get her a panic button in case she falls. You visit as often as you like. But she lives separately.»
«And if she gets worse?»
«Then we reassess. Maybe a care home with medical staff. But only as a last resort.»
Emily studied himtired but resolute. Three years hed endured, for her. Lived with a woman who scorned him, yet stayed.
«Alright,» she said quietly. «But no more decisions behind my back.»
James smiledthe first real one in years.
«Promise.»
They ate in silence, but it was comfortable now. Something between them had clicked back into place.
Later, Emily rang her mother with the plan. To her surprise, Margaret agreed almost instantly.
«I pick the flat, though,» she said. «And the carer. No strangers foisted on me.»
«Of course, Mum.»
That evening, they watched an old film theyd once loved. James pulled her close; she rested her head on his chest. Simple. Familiar. Long forgotten.
«You know,» he said suddenly, «I thought Id lose you. That youd choose her over me.»
Emily looked up.
«And I feared Id come home one day to find *you* gone,» she admitted. «That youd had enough.»
«Never,» he whispered, holding her tighter. «Never.»
They kissed like they had years agodesperate, hungry. Then talked for hours, spilling every buried hurt and fear.
Near midnight, Emily remembered Jamess words from yesterday: *Your mother doesnt live here anymore*. Theyd sounded like an ending.
Now, she wonderedwas it a beginning? For all of them. A chance to love without smothering. To care without controlling.
She fell asleep curled against him, dreamless for the first time in years. No nightmaresjust warm seas, golden sand, and a sun rising, not setting.
**Lesson learned:** Love isnt about possession. Sometimes, the kindest thing is to let goeven when every instinct begs you to hold on.
