Youre no family of ours, snapped the mother-in-law, scooping the meat from her daughter-in-laws plate back into the pot.
Helen froze by the stove, clutching her plate. A smear of gravy from the beef stew Margaret had just made still clung to the porcelain. One by one, the pieces of meat disappeared into the pot, as if her mother-in-law were counting each one.
Excuse me? Helens voice was thin, disbelieving.
Whats not clear? Margaret wiped her hands on her apron and turned on her heel. We never took you in as family. You forced your way in.
The kitchen fell so quiet the bubbling of soup on the hob filled the air. Helen set the plate down and swept a loose strand of hair from her forehead. Her hands trembled.
Margaret, I dont understand. Tom and I have been married five years! We have a daughter
And what of it? Margaret cut her off. Lilys our blood, thats true. But you? Youll always be an outsider.
The kitchen door swung open, and Tom walked in. His hair was rumpled, his shirt untuckedhed clearly been napping on the sofa after work.
Whats going on? His gaze flicked between his wife and mother. Why are you shouting?
Were not shouting, Margaret replied coolly. Just talking. Explaining to your wife how things work in *this* house.
Tom frowned at Helen. She stood rigid, lips pressed together.
Mum, what did you say?
The truth. That not everyone gets a share. Familys large, portions are small.
Helen felt a lump rise in her throat. That was it, then. Five years shed thought she belonged. Five years biting her tongue, enduring Margarets jabs, hoping things would soften with time.
Tom, Im going home, she said quietly. To Mums.
What do you mean, *home*? Margarets voice sharpened. This is your home now. Or do you think you can come and go as you please?
Mum, enough. Tom stepped toward Helen. What happened?
Helen stayed silent. How could she explain that his mother had just made it clearshe was nothing here? That even a plate of stew was too much to spare for her?
Ill pack Lilys things, she said instead. Take her to Mums for the weekend.
And why would you do that? Margaret bristled. Her grandmothers right herewhy drag the child all over?
Her grandmother thinks her mother isnt family, Helen murmured. Maybe her granddaughter deserves better too.
She turned to leave. Tom caught her wrist.
Helen, wait! Just tell me what happened.
She looked at him. His face was puzzled, while Margaret stood by the hob, pretending to stir the soup.
Ask your mother, Helen said. Shell explain it better.
In the nursery, three-year-old Lily was playing with her dolls. She beamed when Helen entered.
Mummy! Look, Im feeding Emily!
Good girl, sweetheart. Helen knelt and hugged her. Are you hungry?
Yes! Grandma said were having stew tonight.
We are, love. But you and I are going to eat at Nanas instead.
Nanas house? Lily clapped. Yay! Is Daddy coming?
No, Daddys staying home.
As Helen packed Lilys bagdresses, tights, toysTom appeared in the doorway.
Helen, this is ridiculous. Youre leaving over *nothing*?
Ridiculous? She straightened. Your mother just told me Im not family. Took food off my plate. Is that *nothing*?
Shes just stressed! You know how she gets. Shell forget by tomorrow.
*I* wont forget, Tom. This isnt the first time.
Oh, drop it! Shes tired, had a rough day at worktook it out on you.
Helen laughed, the sound hollow.
Tired? Shes been tired for *five years*? And Im always the one she snaps at.
Then ignore her!
Ignore being called an outsider in my own home? Tom, *listen* to yourself.
He dragged a hand through his haira familiar gesture when he was stuck for words.
Helen, where else will you go? Were family. We have a child.
Thats *why* Im leaving. I wont have Lily hearing her mother humiliated.
Whos humiliating you? Mum just voiced her opinion.
Her *opinion*? Helen stopped packing. Tom, she took food from me. Said I dont belong. Is that just an *opinion*?
Wellmaybe she was harsh. But you know how she is. Raised us alone after Dad died. Shes used to controlling things.
So Im meant to live under her thumb forever?
Tom sat on the bed and took her hands.
Helen, lets not fight. Ill talk to her.
Talk? Whatll you say? That Im human? That I have feelings?
Yes! Ill tell her to back off.
Helen shook her head.
Tom, its not about rudeness. Its that she *doesnt* accept me. And youve let her.
She just needs time
Five years isnt *enough*? How long?
From the kitchen, Margarets voice rang out:
Tom! Dinners ready!
He stood.
Come on, lets eat. Well talk after.
No, thank you. Ive lost my appetite.
He hesitated, then left. Helen heard murmurs from the kitchenvoices rising, falling.
She dialled her mothers number.
Mum? Its me. Can we come stay a few days?
Of course, love. Whats happened?
Ill explain later. Were leaving now.
Alright. Ive made shepherds pieplenty for everyone.
Helen smiled faintly. Mum always said, *plenty for everyone*. Never counted portions.
Lily chattered happily on the bus, oblivious.
Mummy, why didnt Daddy come? she asked as they neared the house.
Daddys working, love. Hell visit soon.
Her mother greeted them at the door. Susan was everything Margaret wasntwarm, kind, effortless.
My darling girl! She scooped Lily up. Look how big youve grown!
Nana, do you have new stories?
Lots! Well read after supper.
At the table, Susan served generous helpings.
Eat up, Helen. Youre too thinarent they feeding you?
They try. I just havent been hungry.
Well, youre home now. Thatll help.
*Home*. Helen glanced aroundcosy kitchen, floral curtains, photos on the walls. Here, no one called her an outsider.
Later, with Lily asleep, they sat over tea.
Tell me, Susan said softly.
Helen did. The stew, the words. Susan listened, nodding.
And Tom?
Same as ever. Said she was stressed, to let it go.
I see. Susan stirred her tea. And how do *you* feel?
Tired, Mum. So tired. Five years trying, and she still hates me.
What does she say?
That I cook wrong, clean wrong, parent wrong. When Lily was ill last month, she said I was a *bad mother*.
And Tom?
Tom says nothing. Or that shes just worried about Lily.
Susan set her cup down.
Helen, are you happy in this marriage?
The question stunned her. She stared out the window.
I dont know. I was. Now I feel like a guest in my own life.
Why didnt you tell me?
I thought itd pass. That shed get used to me.
She hasnt.
Rain tapped the window.
Mum, when you married Dad how did Grandma treat you?
Susan smiled.
Your Grandma Mary? Called me daughter from day one. Said shed gained a second one. Loved me more than her own Joan, truth be told.
Why?
Because she saw I loved her son. And he loved me. Where theres love, theres room for everyone.
Helen swallowed. Did Tom love her? Truly? Or was it just habit?
Her phone buzzed. *Tom*.
Helen, where are you? His voice was tight.
At Mums. Like I said.
When are you coming back?
I dont know. Maybe Sunday.
What? Youve work tomorrow!
I called in sick.
A pause.
Helen, stop this. Come home. Well talk.
Talk about *what*, Tom? That your mother doesnt see me as human?
Oh, grow up! Shes justshes *like that*. Needs time.
Five years isnt enough?
Helen, dont make this harder. Family sticks together.
*Your* family sticks together. Mine, apparently, doesnt exist.
She hung up. Susan handed her a tissue.
Cry, love. It helps.
But Helen didnt cry. Just felt hollowand strangely free.
Next morning, Susan went to the shops. Helen played with Lilydolls, stories, plasticine. No rules, no sharp words.
Mummy, Lily asked at lunch, why arent we home?
Were visiting Nana.
For long?
I dont know, sweetheart.
Will Daddy come?
Helen hesitated.
Daddys working. But he loves us.
Does Grandma?
A sigh.
She loves *you*. Youre her granddaughter.
And you?
Helen faltered. How to explain cruelty to a child?
Should we play hide-and-seek?
Lily squealed and ran off.
That evening, Tom called again.
Helen, Mum wants to apologise.
Really?
Yeah. She knows she was wrong.
What does she know?
Thatthat she shouldnt have said it. That youre family.
Helen shook her head.
Tom, shes only saying it because *you* made her. Not because she means it.
Does it matter? Shes apologising!
It matters. Because itll happen again.
It wont. I talked to her.
What did you say?
A pause.
That youre my wife. And she *will* respect you.
Respect on *command*?
Helen, *please*. Im on your side!
Then why wait five years? Why let her belittle me?
I didnt
You *did*, Tom! Your silence let her.
In the background, Margarets voice:
Tell her I made soup! Her favourite, with dumplings!
Helen closed her eyes. Even now, Margaret couldnt just *apologise*. Had to flaunt false care.
Tom, I need time.
Time for *what*? Come home tomorrow.
It wont fix it, she whispered. I cant live like this.
What do you mean?
I cant raise Lily where Im disrespected. Where every days a battle.
Helen, what are you saying?
That I need space. To think. About us. Our future.
Silence. Then:
Are you leaving me?
I dont know. Maybe.
Because of *Mum*?
Not just her, Tom. *You*. For never standing up for me. Not once in five years.
She hung up, switched off her phone. Her hands shook, but her mind was clear.
Susan returned with shopping bags.
Help me unpack, she said. Extra mincewell make meatballs. Lily loves them.
Helen helped silently. The meat *was* plentifulenough for everyone, with leftovers.
Mum, she asked, what makes a family?
Susan pondered.
Love, I suppose. And respect. Without those, its just people sharing a roof.
And if ones missing?
Then its not a family. Its a sentence.
Helen nodded. Mum always had a way of cutting to the heart of things.
That night, they watched cartoons. Lily snuggled between them, warm and safe.
Mummy, she yawned, are we going home tomorrow?
Maybe, Helen said. Do you want to?
Not really. Its nicer here.
Children *knew*. Lily already preferred this peace.
Next morning, a knock at the door. Tom stood there, clutching flowers.
Hi, he said awkwardly. Can I come in?
Susan let him in, then busied herself with tea. Lily launched herself at him.
Daddy! You came!
Of course, princess. Missed you.
Tom sat beside Helen.
Helen, Ive been thinking. Youre right. I shouldve defended you.
And now?
Now it changes. I promise.
How?
He pulled keys from his pocket.
I rented us a flat. Just for now. Well try living on our own.
Helen stared.
Seriously?
Yes. Mum fought it, but I stood firm. Told her my family comes first.
What did she say?
Plenty. Doesnt matter now.
Helen took the keys. Small, ordinarybut they meant freedom. A chance without Margarets shadow.
Tom, what if it doesnt work? If moneys tight?
It *will*. Ill work more. Take extra shifts.
Susan brought tea.
Tom, will you eat?
Thank you, Susan.
She laid the tableequal portions, no one left out.
Well, she said, sitting, shall we celebrate your new home?
Helen looked at Tom, then her mother, then Lily, buttering her toast with fierce concentration.
Yes, she said. We will.
Tomorrow, theyd see the flat. Theirs, even if just rented. A place where no one counted portions or called her a stranger.
Where thered always be room at the table.
