28April2025 Diary
The woman Id long imagined as perfect walked out of her marriage for me, yet I never foresaw how the story would end. Id first noticed Charlotte at university, studying literature at Manchester. I suppose it was a naïve, blind devotion. When she finally turned her attention toward me, I lost my head completely. It happened, to be honest, a few years after we both earned our degrees we ended up in the same firm, a marketing agency in London, because our specialisations matched. It felt like destiny.
She seemed the very embodiment of the partner Id always wanted. At the time I didnt mind that she was already married. Id never been married myself, so I couldnt picture what it felt like to watch a marriage crumble. Thats why I felt no shame when Robert, her husband, decided to leave her for me. Who could have imagined the pain it would bring? As the saying goes, you cant build your happiness on someone elses misery.
When she chose me, I was on cloud nine and ready to forgive anything. Yet, behind the public façade, she was far from the perfect partner Id imagined. The flat was a mess of her belongings, and she flatout refused to wash the dishes. All the housework fell to me, but at the time I didnt mind.
She quickly forgot her former marriage. They had no children, and it turned out her inlaws had pushed her into that union. With me, everything was supposed to be different thats what she kept telling me.
My bliss was shortlived. Everything changed when I discovered I was expecting a child. At first, Charlotte was over the moon about the baby. We even threw a big family party to celebrate, with relatives from the Midlands and friends from my old school wishing us love and good health for the little one. That evening remains one of my fondest memories, and I have no regrets looking back. Yet from that moment, my blind affection began to fade.
The more my belly swelled, the less often I saw Robert. I was on maternity leave, so we only met late at night. He stayed later at the office and attended countless networking events. At first it didnt bother me, but it soon exhausted me. Simple chores became harder; I could no longer just bend down to pick up his socks strewn around the flat.
I often wondered whether wed rushed into having a child. I knew feelings could wane with time, but I didnt expect it to happen so quickly. Robert still brought me flowers and chocolate, yet all I wanted was for him to be present.
Very soon it was clear his frequent outings werent innocent. A colleague mentioned in passing that a new junior analyst had joined our department. Staffing was already thin, and when I went on leave, the shortage became critical. The irony wasnt lost on me.
I wasnt sure it was her, but Robert definitely had someone else; he never had a free minute. Work, meetings, another corporate dinner something always filled his schedule. One day I found a scrap of paper in his jacket pocket with initials I didnt recognise. I cant say why I kept it, but I slipped it back into his coat and pretended nothing was amiss.
Being alone at seven months pregnant was terrifying, and yet Robert kept complaining that I had become too nervous. Every argument ended with a sigh of disappointment from him. I somehow realised that bringing up the subject would leave me completely alone. The fear of losing him was so intense I could think of nothing else. As they say, fear can become a selffulfilling prophecy.
No matter how suavely Robert had courted me, he was never a true gentleman. The worst words I ever heard were, Im not ready to have a child, and, I have someone else. I cant even recall exactly how he said them, but in that moment I thought I was losing my mind.
I never believed I could summon the courage to ask for a divorce. He, too, seemed surprised that I would no longer tolerate his behaviour, let alone that I would fling all his belongings out the next day. I was grateful we lived in a rented flat at least I didnt have to share it with anyone else.
And the baby? What will you do?
Ill manage. Ill work from home, and my parents have offered to help. My mother warned me he was a philanderer I should have listened.
Responsibility for my future son gave me the strength I never knew I had. Alone, I would never have found the resolve to leave. I also realised I didnt want to raise a child with a father like him. His betrayal was so cowardly that I wanted nothing more to do with him. It was as if a veil lifted from my eyes.
The first months after the divorce, including the birth, were incredibly hard. I moved back in with my parents, which delighted my grandparents, who were thrilled to have a grandson. I wont claim I didnt miss Robert at all, but I tried not to dwell on it. Deep down I was convinced Id made the right choice and that I could give my son everything he needed.
Then, out of the blue, he resurfaced. He now claims profound remorse and wants to meet his son. Do I want that? Perhaps I should relocate to another city entirely.
Lesson learned: you cant anchor your future to someone who proves untrustworthy; its better to build your own foundation, even when the road is rough.
