Long ago, in a quiet corner of London, a bitter exchange unfolded on a doorstep.
«Can’t you spare an extra bowl of soup for me and your grandson? Is it really so difficult?» Christine huffed, her voice sharp with indignation.
«It is, actually,» Eleanor replied, not letting her daughter cross the threshold. «While you were gone, everything changed. Remind mewasnt it you who threw me out of your house and your life? So why do you dare demand anything now?»
Christine rolled her eyes like a petulant child, as if she were being scolded for some trivial misbehavior. But then again, in that moment, she was exactly thata spoiled girl who still believed the world owed her everything.
«Mum, really? I was pregnant then! Hormones, nerves I dont even remember half of what I said!»
«Oh, I remember,» Eleanor said coldly. «Every word. That you hated me, that I had no heart, that I wanted your child gone and that was the polite version. If Im so terrible, why come crawling back now?»
«Good Lord, Mum! Youre a grown womanyou shouldve understood and found a way to make peace. Youve been through it yourself; you know how moods swing when youre expecting!»
Even now, Christine insisted it was Eleanors fault, as if she should have smiled and danced to her every whim. But Eleanor had had enough.
«I understood you perfectly,» she said slowly, folding her arms. «But I didnt forgive. Christine, I can lend you some money. A little. But I wont let you back in.»
She wasnt just talking about the flat. She couldnt let her daughter back into her life. Because she knewChristine would push, demand, and in the end, wreck everything Eleanor had rebuilt.
«A little? How much?»
«Three hundred pounds. Enough to get back on your feet.»
«That wont last a week! Fine for meIm an adult, I can tighten my belt. But how can you do this to your own grandson?» Christine lashed out again.
But Eleanor refused to argue further.
«When people are desperate, theyre grateful for any penny. If it means nothing to you, then manage on your own.»
With that, she shut the door.
«Fine! Ill manage. But mark my wordsmen come and go, but in your old age, its your children wholl bring you a glass of water. And you wont have that. When youre alone, youll remember me,» Christine spat through the door.
Eleanor leaned against the wall, biting her lip to keep from crying. It hurt terribly, but the rift between them had been inevitable. Truth be told, it had been there for years.
…Christine had always been spoiled. Grandmothers rushed to buy toys at her first tantrum, grandfathers carried her on their shoulders until their backs ached, and her father he indulged her most of all. Didnt like a dress? Off to buy a new one. Smashed her phone in a fit? No matteranother, better one, right away. Wanted a dog? Of course, darling, pick any breed.
No one was surprised Christine was a daddys girl. If her mother said no, she ran to her father, who always said yes.
Her parents argued over it endlessly. William was a devoted husband and father, but when it came to discipline, he had no backbone.
«Will, why did you give her money for the cinema tickets? You couldve asked me first!» Eleanor scolded, hands on her hips. «I told her nonot because of the cost, but because I needed her to help your mother in the garden. And do you know what she said? If you two care so much, you do it.»
William would wincehe knew his daughter went too far sometimes. But hed just wave it off.
«Oh, come now. Remember what we were like at her age. Let me spoil her while I can. Soon enough, shell fly the nest.»
In a way, his words proved prophetic.
William passed when Christine was just fourteen. That was when everything truly fell apart. Shed always been difficult, but after his death, she acted as if her mother were to blame for everything. Caught a cold? «You brought it home from work, always letting sick patients in.» Broke up with a boyfriend? Also her mothers fault for not letting her go out all night. Failed her A-levels? Naturally, because her mother hadnt hired tutors.
«All my friends had tutors, and I had to manage on my own. No wonder my marks are rubbish,» Christine grumbled.
Eleanor had expected as much. Shed set aside part of their savings years ago.
«I dont see the point of this degree,» her friend Margaret sighed. «Christine isnt exactly a scholar. If she drops out now, fine. But what if its in her third year? Such a waste.»
«She wants it, so let her. Its not just for herits for William. Hed never forgive me if I sent her into the world with nothing.»
Eleanor worked two jobs to support herself and her university-bound daughter. Colleagues called her a saint, a martyr. But the truth was simplershe was terrified of being alone. Christine was all she had.
In her second year, Christine announced she wanted to move outwith a friend, she claimed, whose parents were renting her a flat. Eleanor objected, but what could she do? Her daughter was an adult now.
Later, it turned out the «friend» was named Ian. And a year after that, Christine declared she was pregnant.
«Mum, guess whatwere having a baby!» she gasped, breathless with excitement.
Eleanor felt the air leave her lungs. Her legs nearly buckled.
«Christine neither of you has a job. Where will you live? How will you manage?»
«The government will help, Ians parents will chip in, youll help and Ian can pick up odd jobs,» Christine said brightly, as if it were all settled.
Eleanor didnt like her place in that plan. Shed thought supporting Christine through university would fulfill her duty. Now she saw there would be no end to it.
«Oh, and Mum» Christine added. «Tuitions due soon. Can you cover it?»
«Tuition? Youll drag a newborn to lectures?» Eleanor frowned. «Take a gap year or sort out the baby. This isnt the time.»
What followed was chaos. First, Christine claimed her mother owed herthat half of Williams savings were rightfully hers. Then she accused Eleanor of wanting to abandon her grandchild. Finally, she called her a monster and shoved her out the door.
Eleanor hoped Christine would cool off. Their fights werent new. But this time, Christine blocked her from everything. Eleanor knew where she lived but refused to chase her. Enough was enough.
At the time, it felt like losing not just a daughter, but her entire purpose. Yet nature abhors a vacuum.
After Christine left, Eleanor began rebuilding her lifefor herself. She joined a gym, where she met Arthur. He helped her with the machines, then offered her a lift home. Before long, they were married.
Arthur was ten years older, a widower with a grown son, Thomas, his wife, Lucy, and their little boy, Oliver. Into Eleanors life came not just a man, but a familyone that welcomed her warmly, especially Lucy, who saw her more as a friend than a mother-in-law.
Oliver held a special place. Eleanor spoiled him with toys, baked him treats, took him to feed ducks by the Thames. At first, Lucy only left him when necessary, but soon, he asked to visit on his ownand Eleanor never refused.
«Granny, can we feed the pigeons today?» he asked once.
The warmth in her chest surprised her. Shed forgotten what pure, uncalculated love felt like.
Life had color again. Meaning. Then, two years later, Christine reappeared.
Ian had decided fatherhood wasnt for him. He finished his degree, flitted between jobs, then packed up and moved back home.
But the child remained. And Christine needed somewhere to live.
Only now, Eleanor refused to take responsibilityespecially when Christine returned not with apologies, but fresh demands.
«Youll remember me when youre alone,» echoed in Eleanors mind. Yes, it hurt. Like tearing out a piece of her heart. But shed survived it once. Shed survive it now.
Her phone chimed. A text from Arthur, asking what to bring home for a quiet evening. Another from Lucya photo of three lopsided gingerbread men.
«Oliver made these at nursery. One for me, one for Dad, and one for you. Can we visit tonight?»
Eleanor smiled. She was submerged in warmth. Which to choosea quiet night with her husband, or a house full of newfound family?
It didnt matter. She loved both choices. What mattered was this: once, shed feared loneliness so deeply shed tolerate anything to feel needed. Now she knewbeing needed wasnt the same as being loved.
No, she wasnt alone. And perhaps, she never would be again.
