Hey love, let me tell you the story I heard about Tanya Harper a woman who never quite managed to love her own boys.
Tanya never really liked her three sons. She thought they were dull, narrowminded, rough and uncouth, just like their dad. One evening, the oldest, Gene Harper, shouted, Mum, whats for dinner? He was already deepvoiced, a little fuzz sprouting on his chin, and his hands long and skinny with big, clumsy fingers reminded you of his father’s.
Tanya knew Gene was already chasing after older women, the kind whod lost a husband and now flattered any young bloke who gave them attention. She warned a local girl, Daisy, Dont go near Gene, hes barely fifteen. Daisy laughed loudly, and the comment made Tanyas eyes water.
From that moment on, Tanya stopped caring for Gene. He became a picture of his father always drunk, reeking of bacon, garlic and homebrewed gin, his grubby hands everywhere. She tried every single woman in the little village of Littlebrook, even trying to push the old maid, Mrs. Whitby, into marrying him. Mrs. Whitby, with a wrinkled face and a biting tongue, muttered, Look at Paul, how handsome he is, all the girls are swooning over him. You, go on, love.
Tanya burst into tears, saying, Im going to the city, get a job in a factory, study, make something of myself. The old woman snarled, You shouldve stayed put, you foolish girl! It felt like a punch to the gut, as if the old lady thought Tanya was willingly choosing Paul.
Paul Harper was a few years older, came home from the mines, and took the family in. At first his motherinlaw, Mrs. Blake, grumbled that hed chosen the wrong wife, but eventually she settled, even feeling sorry for Tanya when Paul tormented her at night. Shed mutter, Shes a weak girl, as the little ones all boys crowded around like peas.
Tanya loved those boys, fiercely, up until they grew up and turned into men just like Paul. Then she turned into a harsh mother. The war ripped Pauls life apart, sending him to the front, and many of the men never came back. Three of Tanyas sons went off to fight; a handful of lads returned, gaunt and with eyes like blackberries.
Tanya gave birth to three more boys, never a daughter. She lived in constant fear: if she ever stayed home at night, someone would slip in, pinch her, grab her arm, or press her to the wall. She kept postponing going to the bedroom, always finding odd excuses.
When Paul announced he was leaving to be with Lucy Borden, a widowed soldiers wife, Tanya finally exhaled. Gene got into a fight with his dad, and Tanya bandaged his arm, gently rubbing his head like she used to when he was a baby. Let him go, dear, she whispered, its alright.
Gene, now grown, was about to get married himself. He stammered, Mum, dont worry, well manage. He was nervous about his bride, a delicate, bigeyed girl named Lily. He imagined himself, like Paul, being a bit of a rogue.
Tanya watched her children, hoping each would turn out different, that nature might give them a chance to be better than Paul. But time passed, hair grew on chins, voices deepened, and she kept thinking, Maybe I never loved them enough, maybe Im a lousy mother.
She prayed for a granddaughter. The youngest son, Sam, finally found a wife, a sweet girl named Lily. When Lily walked out of the bedroom, she didnt shy away; she clung to Sam like a calf to its mother. He stroked her hair, kissed her forehead gently, and the scene reminded Tanya of a mother cradling her child.
From then on, she kept a keen eye on her boys, making sure none of them treated their wives like Paul had. Shed shout, No! whenever she saw a hand too rough. Lord, no! shed gasp, as if shed finally opened her eyes to the damage her own neglect caused.
One day, Gene came home, All good, Mum? he asked, a little hesitant. Everythings fine, she replied, any trouble with the new sisterinlaw?
Genes wife, Kate, laughed, Dont worry, well keep the peace. Tanya smiled, Im just checking in, dear. You know I love you all, even if Im a bit of a mess.
She trudged back home, exhausted, but still thinking about her grandchildren. Lily, would youmaybe have a baby for me? she asked hopeful. Lily giggled, Sure, Mum, and later, she gave birth to two little girls, Olivia and Yvonne, who quickly became the apple of Tanyas eye.
Now, the grandkids are thriving, studying, getting good jobs, and they always call their granny Nan with love. Tanya finally feels shes done right she may have been a hard mother, but shes learned to love every single one of them, sons, daughters, and grandchildren alike.
So thats the tale, love. Its a messy, winding story of a woman who thought she couldnt love her kids, but in the end, she found a way to cherish them all. Hope it gave you a good chuckle. Take care.
