Im the one left with you,
Its my fault, I was led astray, James pleaded, his voice trembling, I dont know how it happened. Forgive me, I beg you! I swear Ill never speak to her again. Ill change jobs if you want. Shall we leave? Just dont abandon me
***
September greeted Emily with a crisp, yet still gentle, sun. Yellow leaves swirled around her feet, and the scent of damp earth announced the coming autumn. She hurriedly packed suitcases. Ahead lay a long journey to the Lake District, where her mother, suddenly ill, waited.
At first it seemed a simple cold, but a deep unease settled in Emilys chest, growing each day. The shocking diagnosis the doctors delivered hit her like an icecold splash. James stayed behind; he couldnt accompany his wife. Emily had no choice but to take their son, Harry, and fly to her mother at once. Thus began their brutal, exhausting battle against precious time
The first three months were a blur of endless doctor visits, endless test results, and frantic searches for a competent physician. Whenever a rare free slot appeared, Emily returned home, but a lingering feeling that something had shifted haunted her. The house was still tidy, the fireplace still warm, James still tried to keep the routine, yet Emilys thoughts were firmly anchored in the Lake District. The home wasnt abandonedJames kept the comforts alivebut her focus was elsewhere.
Just as her mother steadied, Emily was forced to pack again. Harry, weary from flights and hospital corridors but obedient, followed. More planes, more doctors, hope flickering like a candle in the wind. By March there was a brief respite: her mother improved slightly, and Emily allowed herself a short break, returning home for a couple of weeks.
It was during that fleeting calm that truth, like a stubborn weed, forced its way into the light. Harry complained that his phone had slipped into the bath. Emily remembered a tip from a womens magazineplace the device in a bowl of rice.
***
Emily retrieved the phone, switched it on. The screen lit up, a message appearing just as James dozed peacefully on the sofa.
Harry, look, your phone works, Emily said, handing him the device.
He lazily flicked through the notifications and froze.
Whats this? Emily leaned in, noticing his posture stiffen, Im falling in love with you more and more each day. What does that mean?
James jerked upright, coughing to mask his agitation, his hands trembling slightly.
Emily, youve got it all wrong, he began hurriedly, its just a joke, a coworkers banter. Were always goofing off
A joke? Emily crossed her arms, feeling a chill creep inside despite the warm living room, goofing off?
Im being honest, its nonsense. We just work together, nothing personal.
Are you sure? Because messages like that arent usually sent by just a colleague, Emily pressed, studying his face for any hint of deceit.
Absolutely sure. Youre overthinking because of your mothers illness. Lets drop it, go for a walk. The suns out, we need fresh air.
James pressed on, desperate to change the subject, and Emily, exhausted after three months of relentless stress, finally gave in. She blamed the nerves and fatigue, and they stepped outside, but the false peace lasted only moments.
They barely made it back when another message from the same coworker arrived, even more explicit. A pang of jealousy stabbed at Emily, but she chose to confront James first, not stage a scene.
James, look at what she sent now. This isnt a joke.
He took the phone, his face paling.
Its its a mistake. Ill tell her to stop.
Youll tell her? Or should I? Emilys voice quivered.
Emily, I love only you. Theres no point turning this into a drama over some nonsense.
Soon another flight whisked Emily away. More visits to her mother, more tests, more hospital wards. Harry remained the only constant in the swirling chaos. When her mothers condition eased a little, Emily finally exhaled, earning a brief lull.
***
March came again. Her mother felt a touch better, and Emily dared another trip home to try to regain balance. Balance, however, eluded her. The SMS thread she skimmed that day gnawed at her mind. She could not simply erase those words.
Emily decided not to wait for another excuse; she would ask James directly.
James, I need the truth. I cant live with vague explanations.
Emily, Ive explained everything! It was just a clumsy prank. I dont see why youre bringing it up again.
Because it unsettles me, Emily answered firmly.
James tensed.
Emily, why are you making this worse? Everythings already tangled
I spoke to your colleague, Emily said, her voice turning icecold, she reached out herself.
James froze.
She wrote Emily continued, staring straight into his eyes, she wrote: Yes, I love him. Yes, we were together. What do you have to say to that, James?
He fell silent, his face turning ashgrey.
Leave, Emilys voice trembled with restrained fury, pack your things and go.
No, he whispered, youre making a huge mistake! I never did anything with her. She imagined it, and you believed some mad story!
I dont believe you! Emily snapped, flashing the screenshot where the affair confessed, look! Your joke!
James dropped his head. A deafening silence stretched on. When he finally lifted his gaze, guilt and desperation flickered in his eyes.
Fine. I slipped. I love you and have always loved you, Emily. Its true.
Slipped? Emily laughed bitterly, three years of lies staring you in the face! How could you disrespect a person like that?
Its not a lie, I truly love you! Its just that you werent there, and I
Not there? Only cowards act that way! Emily shouted, stepping back, youre a coward!
But I didnt leave, Emily, I didnt abandon you! he tried to grab her hand, were together
Emily pulled away. It didnt matter whether he stayed or left; the pain he caused was now far larger than any possibility of reconciliation.
You didnt abandon me? she asked, bitterly, you were torn, but you never left
I couldnt! I love you!
Love? Emily shook her head, no, you stayed because it was convenient, not because you loved me. Im done dissecting your motives. I must go. Mothers condition worsened.
Another flight. Another trek to the Lake District. Doctors, wards, the endless fightnow she bore not only her mothers illness but also the weight of Jamess betrayal.
***
Her mother passed in August. By New Years, Emily moved through life like a dream, mechanically performing the necessary tasks. The house she once called a fortress now felt foreign. Harry was her anchor, the sole reason she didnt dissolve into endless grey.
When the first months of despair faded, she woke up a little, yet never truly recovered. Every glance at James seared her. She couldnt look at him, hear his voice, see his face. Still, she held onfor Harry, who seemed to sense his mothers turmoil.
James, finally grasping the depth of his mistake, tried to mend things. He stayed close, offered help, begged forgiveness, pleaded for a fresh start.
Emily, please, lets try again. I made a terrible error. I know. I never left when you went to your mother. Isnt that proof of my love?
Her mind replayed the SMS messages shed stumbled upon while cleaning her phone, words shed missed in the panic, now surfacing with terrifying clarity.
Youre my everything, he had written to the other woman.
And her reply, etched in Emilys memory:
Did I tell your wife everything? Someone should have pushed her. Any other woman would have left, but you a rag!
Emily watched Harry building with his blocks in the corner, a mirror of her own childhoodfocused, clever. He didnt deserve a home where his mother suffered lies.
James entered with two mugs of herbal tea.
Here, a hot brew. Please, drink.
Emily took the mug but didnt sip.
I cant, James
Emily, we agreedtime heals. Give us time. Ill do anything for your forgiveness.
Time? she smiled bitterly, time showed youre a master liar. You stayed because leaving was inconvenient, not because I was your love. Her words prove it. She told you shed said everything to me.
That was stupid of her! I told her it was over!
You didnt stop it, James. You chose the easiest lie to keep me from breaking.
Emily inhaled deeply.
I cant forgive you. Not now. Maybe never. But I have to live. Harry has to live. Well stay apart. Ill put him with his aunt for a few weeks, Ill stay with a friend. I need to figure out what I want.
James paled. He realised this wasnt a pause; it was a real chance to lose everything.
Emily, dont do this. Please. Ill see a therapist, any specialist. Ill quit my job if I must. Just dont go.
Im not leaving you, James. Im leaving the lies, Emily whispered, I cant love you while you live in falsehoods. Well talk when I return. If I ever return
***
Emily never returned. Two months apart, then she decidedshe would not keep the family together, not even for Harry. James changed jobs, cut ties with the other woman. Yet Emily knew that the young woman would forever linger in his memory, and she could never accept that. Never.
