**The Stag Night**
When Colin divorced his wife, he swore off marriage for good. After seven years together, hed concluded there was nothing good about married lifejust squabbles, shouting matches, and endless rows.
«Come off it, Col,» argued his mate Stephen. «A wifes a good thing for a blokehome-cooked meals, tidy house, someone to look after you.» He grinned like the cat that got the cream, listing the perks.
«Dunno, Steve,» Colin shrugged. «I did most of the cooking, always hoovered, thats just basic. And looked after? My ex, Emily, had a way of looking after me that made me want to bolt out the door.»
Emily had been a right terror. No matter what he did, it was never enough. Gifts? «Couldve spent more.» Holidays? Shed watch him like a hawk, accusing him of eyeing other women, humiliating him in front of friends.
The final straw came at her mates birthday do, when she slapped him for having one too many brandies. He walked out then and there, divorce papers already forming in his mind.
The split was messy. Emily fought tooth and nail, but in the end, he handed over the flat and carfor their daughters sake. He walked away clean, no strings attached.
Time passed. Colin bought a new flat, a new car, paid off the mortgagedecent salary helped. He dated, some women even brought up marriage, but he held firm.
«Not a chance. Been there, done that.»
Then, at thirty-eight, he met Daisy. Pure chance, a café in London. Hed gone with his mates to celebrate Stephens promotion, laughing over pints. Two women slid into the next boothone caught his eye. Dark blue, almost violet in the dim light.
«Blimey,» he thought. «Drowning pools, those.»
He couldnt stop staring. She felt it too, dropping her gaze whenever their eyes met.
«Got your eye on the brunette, eh?» Stephen nudged.
«Mightve done,» Colin admitted, then marched over.
«Evening. Mind if I join you? Names Colin.»
The women smiled. «Daisy,» said the one whod snared him. «And this is Chloe.»
Pleasantries exchanged, he offered wine.
«No, thanks,» Daisy said. «We dont drink.»
That night, he drove her homesober, thankfully. Soon, they were inseparable. Same wavelength, same dry humour. Daisy had been married once, briefly.
«Didnt work out,» was all she said. Colin didnt push.
Thirty-five, no kids, an accountant for a construction firm. Serious, but with a painters souldabbled in oils, loved galleries. She dragged Colin along, and to his surprise, he loved it. His mates ribbed him, but he swore she had real talent. Theyd even drive out to the countryside so she could sketch.
One night, sprawled on the sofa with his cat, Whiskers, it hit him.
«Think Ill ask Daisy to marry me,» he mused, scratching Whiskers ears. The cat blinked lazily. «Well make it work, the three of us. You love her too, dont you?»
Whiskers had been a stray, a scrawny thing that followed him home six years ago. Now he was a proper tom, smoke-grey and aloof. Daisy called him «too clever by halfjust cant be bothered to talk.»
Colin proposed. Daisy said yes. They planned a quiet registry office do, but family and friends kicked up a fuss.
«Skimping on the wedding? Cheapskates!»
Reluctantly, they caved. Guest lists, invitationsthen came the next demand.
«A stag do, Col! Cant get hitched without one!»
«Lads, were nearly forty, not fresh out of uni,» he argued.
«Ages got nowt to do with it!» Stephen boomed. «Last night of freedom!»
Colin gave in. «Fine. Booze and foods on me. You sort the entertainment. But were doing it at minetoo many nosy parkers in pubs.»
The wedding was set for Friday, the stag for Wednesday.
«Plenty of time to sober up,» Colin reasoned.
He took the week off, stocked up on whisky and ale, ordered sushi and prawn cocktails from a posh restaurant. Wednesday afternoon, he laid the tableWhiskers twitching his nose at the seafood.
«Not for you, mate,» Colin chuckled, shooing him to the armchair.
His mates arrived in a roar of laughter and backslaps.
«Right, ladsbeer first, then the hard stuff?»
«Not me,» sighed Andrew. «The missus said if I come home pissed one more time this month, shes filing for divorce.»
«Same,» Stephen groaned. «Mother-in-laws flying in at four a.m. Got to fetch her.»
Colin rolled his eyes. «And you were the one banging on about stags!»
They drank, ate, debated cars and politics. By ten, everyone was yawning.
«Work tomorrow,» Andrew muttered.
Colin saw them out, bewildered. So much for a rager.
Back at the table, Whiskers stared pointedly at the prawns.
«Go on, then.»
The cat delicately plucked one, then another, while Colin sipped his beer and dozed off.
He woke to find Whiskers sprawled across the table like a furry king.
«Cheeky sod,» Colin grinned.
And that was that. The wedding came and wenta proper knees-up. Marriage with Daisy? Best decision he ever made. Second times the charm.
